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one of the funnier Craigslist musicians rants

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Steve, Apr 13, 2009.


  1. low-endz

    low-endz

    Dec 18, 2007
    Miami, FL.
    :D:D:D

    The 1st part should have stated that the more drunk & vague you are when making your song request the easier the band will remember the song.

    How many times have we heard "ffhmhey yo play dat song from that band you know uhh, pfna pfnana, buhdaht (garbled lyrics) nuhna" yeah "Play that song mahn"
     
  2. Yeah... some of that is really great and so true. Took some thought to put that together..nice..
     
  3. DanielleMuscato

    DanielleMuscato

    Jun 19, 2004
    Columbia, Missouri, USA
    Endorsing Artist, Schroeder Cabinets
    As these things tend to disappear after awhile, here you go:

     
  4. mrufino1

    mrufino1 Supporting Member

    Aug 2, 2005
    Nutley, NJ
    Someone sent me that a few years ago and it was still funny this time! I had lost it so thanks for posting.
     
  5. "Your request is all that matters. Once you've
    figured out what genre of music the band plays, please make your requests
    from a totally different genre. The more exaggerated the better. If its a
    blues band playing, yell for some Metallica or Slayer or Pantera.
    Likewise, if its a death-speed metal band, be sure to request Brown-Eyed
    Girl or some Grateful Dead."

    I've had too many nights like this. We've spent the last 35 minutes playing 70's rock covers of the Zepellin/Who/Cream variety. Chances are, we don't know any Disturbed.
     
  6. dave64o

    dave64o Talkbass Top 10 all time lowest talent/gear ratio! Gold Supporting Member

    Jun 15, 2000
    Southern NJ

    Well, the person bothering you sounds pretty disturbed. :p
     
  7. scottbass

    scottbass Bass lines like a big, funky giant

    Jul 13, 2004
    Southern MN
    This past Saturday my blues band (we play Storyville, SRV, Bonnie Raitt, Susan Tedeschi, etc.) got the obnoxious, would-not-leave drunk woman standing in front of the stage and screaming for us to play "American Pie." It was hilarious. After about 40 minutes one of the waitresses convinced her to go sit down. Of course we got a few "You Suck!"'s out of her on her way back to her table.

    Next set: Waitress brings up a napkin with a scrawled request:

    "PLAY Americken (sic) Pie by Don McQueen (sic) or else!!!!!!"
     
  8. TheHegemon

    TheHegemon

    Feb 20, 2009
    Amarillo, TX
    haha

    Well said there
     
  9. LAWL :D
     
  10. ROFLMAO!!!
     
  11. Lunchbox4u_6

    Lunchbox4u_6

    Dec 1, 2008
    Dallas, TX
    I actually started putting a mic and mic stand in front of me just so it would look like i was singing so people would stop coming up to me during songs. I guess since i was singing i must not be busy playing the song or anything.
     
  12. thumpbass1

    thumpbass1

    Jul 4, 2004
    This is classic!! The wonder of it is, that I think everyone who has gigged or is still gigging, has experienced pretty much about every behaviour listed. I've experienced it in bands that played original music! I still experience a lot of these behaviours listed to this day. I guess we musicians are supposed to be cosmic jukeboxes in the eyes of some folks. Now that would truly be quite an accomplishment for any musician or band to be able to pull off. This is one funny post indeed. Thanks to the OP for giving me a much needed laugh.
     
  13. ironrat

    ironrat

    Sep 24, 2008
    awesome! I laughed my @ $ $ off! :D
     
  14. ali.b.reed

    ali.b.reed

    Apr 16, 2009
    Thanks for a very informative and accurate precis, gave me quite a giggle! Bet you have never been asked "Do you play any ABBA?"
     
  15. Korladis

    Korladis Banned Supporting Member

    It should include "Always request Freebird. Every band knows this song, even if they say they don't, even if they play a completely different genre. If at first your request is denied, try, try again, and more loudly. The band loves playing Freebird and loves when drunken audience members request it at every damn show. And if you are merely joking, don't worry, it is a fact that this is always funny."

    I can't even listen to that song or that band now because I hate this so much. My usual response to this particular request of late has not been very friendly.
     
  16. QORC

    QORC

    Aug 22, 2003
    Elberon, New Jersey
    I'm in a tribute band. We only play THAT band. ....hence the term "tribute"....had someone at a gig last year come up after our first set and ask..."Do you do any Skynyrd??" (we aren't a skynyrd tribute, by the way...pretty clear from our first set..our banner...etc)...I'm like..."umm, no, we only do AC/DC"....he says, "oh" and walks away. 20 minutes later, I'm tuning up and getting ready to play again...he leans in and says "How about some Motley Crue?" ....I almost lost it laughing...he looked genuinely bewildered.
     
  17. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    I love the part about someone grabbing your head and screaming into your ear. I've had this happen more times than I can count.
     
  18. mightypog

    mightypog

    Apr 21, 2009
    Seattle, WA
    OMFG I nearly cried. Read it out loud to my drummer, he nearly wept. They forgot one; Don't forget to try to shake the bass player's hand during the tune. Bass players have a third hand they can produce at will with which to greet to greet drunken dance floor denizens. Be sure to squeeze the hell out of the hand too. makes the hand stronger for playing. And what ever you do, dont let go.
     
  19. thumpbass1

    thumpbass1

    Jul 4, 2004
    Wow! I never had em' wanting to shake my hand during a tune, but my band once experienced a more than happy college age drunk, step behind our backline of amps, tripping over cables and crap, and unfortunately he made it over to me, where he stands next to me, puts his hand on my left shoulder like I was his buddy, as I'm trying to pull away from him, all while we are playing our version of Elizabeth Reed the great Allman Bros Band classic, and he's swaying along to the music at first, and then he's yelling in my left ear " Dude! You,,,,got to play,,,Shhhonny,,,I mean Johnny Beeee,,,Gooode". Thankfully club security finally showed up and figured out what was going on, and they grabbed the doofus and tossed him out. It was one of my more memorable song request moments.
     

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