Online (apologies to Brad)

I work down at the carrot shop
And I play an old Sub Ray
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5'3 and overweight

I'm a Geddy fanatic
Mild Rheumatic

Just learnin to play the bass
But there's a whole another me
That you need to see
Go check out Myspace

'Cause online I'm down in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
I play a Fodera
And a P bass, vintage era
And I love a funky Bootsy bass line

It turns TB on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em all my bands are so serious
'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Playin two basses at one time

I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online

I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac

In real life, the only time I
Ever even been to L.A.
Was when I got the chance to play my Squier
through a used Crate amplifier on GC bargain day

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

When you got my kinda chops, it's hard to find a band
Let alone a music stand
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight every time I log in


I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

 

No one will say a word.

Its like farting. Guilty parties stay quiet.