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Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by guy n. cognito, Apr 6, 2006.

  1. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    OK, so here's the backstory:

    I've been looking for a band for about a month now. I've met with several and talked to dozens more, but I hadn't really found any of interest. Last weekend, I auditioned for a band that seems appealing. They all have professional jobs, just like me, and are looking for a weekend gig. They are all good musicians. They are playing "classic rock" which I like, although I must admit it wouldn't be my first choice. My audition lasted for approximately 2 hours, at the end of which they offered me the position. I accepted, and have been trying to get a song list out of them all week to start learning songs (cover band). They've given me a list, but it's fairly disorganized and I can't get any concensus on which songs we will learn first. So far, I know six of their songs.

    Fast forward to today. I was parusing the musolist and saw an ad for a band that fit what I was looking for. I replied to the ad, and made the mistake of putting my e-mail address in it. Turns out that two seperate members of the band I played with last week had posted two seperate ads. They read totally differently and really didn't seem to describe the same band. Because I was doing this at work, I just shot off a quick reply and didn't really read the ad in detail. Needless to say, I have been discovered and they aren't too happy.

    Even though it's been a few years since I was in a band, I know how this works. Sometimes, bands just fall apart. Other times, you think you're in the band, only to find out that they were just using you until someone better came along. Other times still, you find out that the band or it's members just arent a good fit and decide to move on. I was, and am, still replying to ads because I feel like any of these thing could happen. Given that I have only played with these guys once, for 2 hours, I really don't feel any loyality to them, and I assume they feel none to me. I also explained to them that I was talking to several other bands, although I didn't specifically tell them that I would also be talking to new bands until this one solidified. I have explained this to them, nicely, and I am waiting for their reply.

    What do you think? Did I do something wrong, or would you have done the same thing.
  2. gdawg27


    Jan 12, 2006
    You weren't in the wrong at all. You only played with them once and who knows what would have happened if the ad turned out to be a different band that liked more. Did they tell you that they want you committed only to their band?
  3. Ibanezzer


    Aug 12, 2004
    Dayton, Ohio
    I would have done the same thing. First you have to look at it this way, you played and got the part, but then they never followed through in a timely manner and when they did it was without effort (ie. lack of organization on their part). Personally a lack of organization would also indicate a lack of motivation to me.

    Good luck in your quest, I was looking for a long time and recently joined up with a band about 3 months ago. Best experiences I have had as a musician--so nice to be able to play outside of just your room at home.

  4. brothernewt

    brothernewt Some people call me the stormtrooper of love...

    Apr 13, 2004
    Happyrock, OR
    not to mention they didn't pull their ads... sounds like they were still lookin' too.
  5. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    Yeah, that's kinda what I thought, too.

    I got quite the dramatic e-mail this morning, letting me know that they really liked me both musically and persoanlly and want me to be in their band. But, they need a commitment.......


    1 practice for 2 hours and they want a commitment? For an old guy cover band? Hell, I asked for a list of songs to learn for practice this week, and I didn't get them until last night at 11:30. Bear in mind, this is not an truly organized band. Together, they only know about 6 songs. Seperatly, they know more, but they really haven't played them as a band. There song list only has 31 songs and definitely needs some work. So, it's not like I'm stepping into a band with gigs and an organized songlist.

    Here's my response:

    I enjoyed playing with you and I am willing to continue, but we are not at the stage to be talking about commitment. Given the situation, my newness to the band and the lack of any real organization, gigs or even a full songlist, none of us should be committing to anything yet. If you will send me songs, in a timely fashion, I will learn them and be ready for practice. Sending me songs on Thursday night for a Sunday practice isn't going to cut it. Until all of us demonstrate the willingness and ability to put together a real band, the only thing I am willing to commit to is to be honest and upfront about my intentions. I told you that I was still talking to other bands, so nothing I did after that should have been a surprise.

    I hope this settles this issue, because I really don't like the drama and really don't want to discuss it again. If you need more of a commitment, then I am not the guy for you.


    Well see how this is received.
  6. Kronos


    Dec 28, 2005
    Philadelphia, PA
    Dude, I'm totally behind you. These guys should realize that just because you played one practice with them doesn't mean you're married to them. Not only that, you guys aren't doing this as a career, and tons of musicians have other bands that they play in. It keeps a person sharp! Hell, if they're that concerned about you staying, then maybe it isn't the best idea to be with these guys. Hell, they're acting like you're a cheating girlfriend, not their bass player.
  7. bannedwit


    May 9, 2005
    Buffalo, NY
    Haha, I had the same thing happen to me. I tried out for my buddies band. We had a meeting where what they were saying wasn't going over too well with me and I figured I should bail before it gets out of hand so I first wanted a backup band to fall back on. I posted for a tryout on a forum... Guess who's post it was? Bingo...
  8. Did I miss something or is being in a band a monogomous relationship?

    I would tell them to mind their own business and take their ads down if they think they found a bass player. Maybe you want to be in two bands cuz you just rock THAT HARD.:bassist:

    Seriously, you don't owe them anything but a courteous explanation which is exactly what it sounds like you gave them. Case closed! If they can't deal with that, I would view that as a big red flag.
  9. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN

    I agree. We are having a practice tomorrow and I am going to quit if this comes up again. I HATE drama, and it would be a bad sign if we have drama at this early stage.
  10. daofktr

    daofktr irritating, yet surly

    Feb 15, 2005
    aurora, IN
    sounds to me like you handled it perfectly.

    btw...i hope you dodged the tornados...

    the official talkbass stormcellar>>>:bag:
  11. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    Dodged al the twisters.

    Everything went fine at practice. Drama averted
  12. d8g3jdh

    d8g3jdh Guest

    Aug 9, 2005
    As always, there are three sides to every story: yours, theirs, and the truth. I would love to hear what they have to say.

    :bag: :ninja:


    A little ironic eh?:bag: ;)
  13. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    How long have you been waiting to use that? A bit of a stretch, but nice try. :)

    Luckily, it seems as though they have nothing further to say on the subject. I'm gonna stick with it for a few months and see where this leads.
  14. d8g3jdh

    d8g3jdh Guest

    Aug 9, 2005
    Mwahahahahahah. I know it's a stretch, I'm just joking around. But you can expect to see that same message in just about every applicable thread you create from now on. mwahahahahahaha!

  15. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    Dude, that pancake is leaching into your brain. ;)
  16. CanadianBass48


    May 8, 2005
    Ont, Can
    I have already been through two bands in the past month. I auditioned for both of them and both bands really liked what I could offer them but I just didn't fit with me. It was mostly that the practice times didn't work for me. That was why I had to tell them that I couldn't play with them. Plus they were 45 min away (one way). They were both todally different styles, so I was proud of myself for being able to adapt to their playing. Neither of the bands took it very well. I had only one practice with them and they were all excited and everything, not really asking me if I wanted in. It was like a one-way descision. It was an audition so they always think that they are trying you out. They never think of it the other way, you trying them out. O well. I found a band now that I really like. They are close, their music style is right up my alley, and they are a great bunch of guys. A yes. Us bass guys are sought after. It feels good to be wanted :) .


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