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Original Song, Please Be Brutally Honest.

Discussion in 'Recordings [BG]' started by Daniel Mcardle, Aug 6, 2012.


  1. Daniel Mcardle

    Daniel Mcardle

    Jul 1, 2010
    I recorded a song I wrote, I played guitar and bass on the recording and also done the vocals.

    It'd be nice to get some honest feedback about everything really, the song itself, each indivdual part, the intonation of the vocals etc.

    Tell me what you think, thanks!



    p.s. I already know the solo's terrible but feel free to tell me just how terrible you think it is :D
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 16, 2014
  2. Nick Dilley

    Nick Dilley

    Mar 25, 2012
    Hey Dan,

    It occurred to me that I would like to hear the bass lines lead into the chord changes rather than have them "respond" to the vocal line.

    I like the tune. Another suggestion, if you ever get a drummer in on this, would be to have the drummer hold off on coming in until the solo. Like come in with a fill around 3:34 or something, then keep on going till the song is through.

    Yeah, the solo needs a bit of work, but the chill feel you have going on with the lead is good--as in, keep the feel, but work out the kinks in the composition.

    Thanks for sharing!
     
  3. João Bourgard

    João Bourgard

    Jan 21, 2010
    I'm guessing that in the solo you have a delay or a double lead...
    my advice is don't... play it clean...
    overall i liked it even tough iots not my cup of tea..

    Cheers
     
  4. Nick Dilley

    Nick Dilley

    Mar 25, 2012
    +1 on the delay. a touch of reverb might not sound too bad, but the delay was a bit much.
     
  5. Daniel Mcardle

    Daniel Mcardle

    Jul 1, 2010
    Thanks, I recorded everything in my bedroom so getting a real drummer wasn't practical and using a drum machine was just unpleasant but I see where you're coming from.

    Again, thanks for your feedback, I'll keep your points in mind!
     
  6. PlungerModerno

    PlungerModerno

    Apr 12, 2012
    Ireland
    +1 on bringing the drums in late. Think so long marianne:

    Which also have drums making a late appearance. Skilled use of brushes and an airy drum mix can make the music sparkle. If that's what you want :D
     
  7. Daniel Mcardle

    Daniel Mcardle

    Jul 1, 2010
    It would've been distorted if the DAW I used had a decent plug in (I recorded it clean since I don't have a distortion pedal).

    Yeah, I used delay and reverb, apparently effects don't cover up lack of guitar playing skill as well as I'd hoped :p

    Thank you for replying!
     
  8. Daniel Mcardle

    Daniel Mcardle

    Jul 1, 2010
    Thank a lot!. It'll be nice to see what the drummer comes up with if I ever get a band together but I hope he does something as nice as the drums in Crow Jane, I've never heard that song before, thanks for introducing me!

    As for the guitar solo, I like the effects as well, it was improvised which is why it's not as good as I'd like but I'd most likely keep a similar feel if I re-recorded it.
     
  9. Daniel Mcardle

    Daniel Mcardle

    Jul 1, 2010
    Does nobody else have anything to say?
     
  10. PlungerModerno

    PlungerModerno

    Apr 12, 2012
    Ireland
    Two gallants are a lesson in great drumming & drum mixing.

    You can't go wrong by carefully listening to their guitar and vocal mixes either. Serious fire that cuts right into the emotional part of the brain... :cool:

    The bass is.... absent :mad:, not on all but most of their material.

    I think your material is good - with the right drums - and a great mix (I think the current mix is decent) you could have a gem there - if the solo has some 'hook' properties (I know I'm one of those people).

    I have nothing like this under my belt so I'm kinda guessing here.
    I am incredibly keen to get a project going... and I'm halfway there. writing and recording is an art in itself.
    here's a great thread that might waste your time (but you might like it... it's focused on home recording, there's a solid chance you are using it - the above is recorded well but doesn't sound 'hyperpop' mastered (A good thing IMO, it loses all intimacy))
    All you need is ears, protect them!

    Funnily enough it's part of my sig!
     
  11. t77mackie

    t77mackie

    Jun 13, 2012
    Wormtown, MA
    What are you using for recording gear?

    At first I didn't like the guitar tone - or maybe it's the recording quality - but then it reminded me of Iggy Pop's The Passenger for some reason and it grew on me.

    Bass is good. Pretty much what I would do. Sounds direct - nice and clean in the mix.

    Guitar solo needs to come up in the mix and a little work - which you know already. Don't make too drastic changes to it, I like the direction.

    No, you aren't the greatest vocalist in the world but you have character and conviction - which I'll take any day over perfect pitch, range and technique.

    All in all I like it. If you spiff up the recording quality a bit and have a beer or three before you record your vox I think you might be on to something...

    Nicely done.
     
  12. Daniel Mcardle

    Daniel Mcardle

    Jul 1, 2010
    I have this 1/4 to 1/8 inch adapter so I can plug my guitar straight into my pc, it's the combination of a bad soundcard in my pc and a cheap guitar that caused the admittedly poor guitar tone.

    Yeah, I had to record the vocals with the voice record function on my mp3 player because it's all I have :p I had to hold back a bit with the vocals as it kept clipping, that's what happens when you sing into a mic the width of a pencil lead I suppose :rolleyes:

    Thanks for the compliments though, if I ever record this properly with a drummer and a real lead guitarist I'll be sure to post it here.
     
  13. t77mackie

    t77mackie

    Jun 13, 2012
    Wormtown, MA
    Oh, well sh!t! That's pretty GD good under those circumstances. I feel your pain...
     
  14. PlungerModerno

    PlungerModerno

    Apr 12, 2012
    Ireland
  15. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    I'm no recording expert, just my feedback on the song itself (since you included that in your question): it's fine. But just fine. Kind of bland. Lyrically, I'd go back over your verses and see if you can find a place to work in a metaphor or turn of phrase that's memorable and attention-getting. I listened to it two minutes ago and I don't remember any of what it's about other than a vague sense of malaise. Musically, DYNAMICS! Let it go quiet sometimes, let it get loud sometimes. The idea of the drums coming in partway through will probably help. Probably change up your chord progressions some too.

    If it helps stir your pot, thematically and stylistically it reminded me a bit of this song, "Apathy," by a local group that broke up a little while ago, The Whatnot. Obviously they have more studio polish in the recording, but what I'm actually talking about is touches like the harmony vocals on the chorus, giving it some lift from the verses, and vivid lyrics like "Make a list of everything that I've still left to do/It's not for pointing fingers, it's just what I'm going through." It's not overdone or pretentious, but you FEEL exactly what he's talking about and remember it.

    http://www.myspace.com/music/player?sid=26884362&ac=now
     

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