Parent Be-friending their kid's friends.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Bob Clayton, May 30, 2005.

  1. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    Ok this is a situation that has bugged me for a while.

    I have somethign called a xanga... it's like an online journal type of thing. and obviously a lot of my friends have one. so we all talk to each other through there. fine. no problem.

    earlier this year my dad has also gotten one. (he is 49). at first he just used it for a journal, but it got worse. he then proceded to look on my friends list and send people messages, and ultimately become friends with some of my friends, guys and girls. keep in mind that my friends range from the ages of 15-21.

    it's not just my friends either. its my band mates. my ex-girlfriends and some people that i don't even know in real life, i met them on the internet.

    am i the only one that finds something wrong with this?
  2. Finger Blister

    Finger Blister

    Jul 8, 2003
    It's not right.
  3. Nadav


    Nov 13, 2004
    Atlanta, GA
    That doesn't seem like a smart thing to do.
  4. jade


    Mar 8, 2002

    How do your friends react?
  5. WalterBush


    Feb 27, 2005
    Yuma, Az
    Sounds like trouble--a possible mid-life crisis. People sometimes try to recapture their supposedly lost youth at that age, and can do silly things while they try to reconcile with themselves that they're aging. It breaks up families sometimes. I'd keep a close eye on a situation like this if it were my pops, he might do something he'd regret later when he comes to his senses.
  6. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    Does he use words like "dawg", "whack", "dope" and "dude" a lot?
  7. Nino Valenti

    Nino Valenti Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 2, 2001
    Staten Island NYC
    Builder: Valenti Basses
    Maybe he's just trying to check up on you and your friends.
  8. john turner

    john turner You don't want to do that. Trust me. Staff Member Administrator

    Mar 14, 2000
    atlanta ga
    why is that not the right thing to do? i've found that having friends that are teenagers helps me keep perspective on things. i credit that to talkbass, mainly - i made a bunch of friends here who i really respect and admire who just happen to be 20 years younger than me. i also have some great friends here who are 20 years older than me.

    if he is mis-representing himself to them, though, then that's a problem.
  9. Xangas are weblogs targeted at teenagers; tell him to get a normal one.
  10. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Probably. It's a good way to get a line on what kind of people you hang out with. I think it's a fabulous idea.
  11. Petary791


    Feb 20, 2005
    Michigan, USA
    That sucks man. I'm always afraid my parents are gonna get in my LiveJournal.
  12. Bard2dbone


    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    My parents and friends got along great, too.

    When I was a late teenager, my folks said my friends and I could party at our house, rather than have to drive home after partying. So any parties, generally were at our place. And everybody ended up sort of hanging out there by default.

    Fast forward a few years and my friends all liked my parents enough that they hung around with them after I was gone away to the Navy. I would call or get a letter from my parents and hear about how the family (Dad, Mom, Sister, Bozo-in-law) and the guys (My friends Bill, Brian, Ron, Scott...etc) all went on a big rafting trip.

    When I got out of the Navy, they all went on a vacation to Mexico together...without me.That was Bill, Brian, the family mentioned above and My sister and bozo-in-laws new baby.

    I had just gotten a job and couldn't go.

    Is that what you are talking about?
  13. Bard2dbone


    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    My son quit doing his after I teased him about being emo.
  14. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    kind of. but not to that extreme.

    but this is more of like this. my dad doesn't hang out with my friends, but he talks to some of them more than i do. sometimes the conversation turns to being about me.

    my friends are really indifferent about it. maybe it's cause their parents aren't doing it. i dunno, maybe im over reacting about it. it's been bugging me for a while, and i just wanted to gets oem other opinions about it.
  15. dcr

    dcr Supporting Member

    Might be something weird. Might not. Personally at this point, I vote not.

    I do know that I have a couple of friends at work that are a lot younger than me. In fact, some of them were only 4-5 years old when I started working there! They're 24-26 and I'm 40.

    As long as it doesn't progress too much, I can't see anything wrong with it.

    Then again, maybe he is checking up a bit. After all, he is the Dad and that's his job! And I'd do the same thing to my kids if they were old enough!

  16. Bob Clayton

    Bob Clayton Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Aug 14, 2001
    Deptford, NJ
    what is old enough?

    i am 18 and about to got to college.

    what is he gonna do? find out the email addresses of every student at rowan university and talk to them to make sure im not hanigng out with the wrong crowd?

    i mean like i said before, he talks to some people i don't even talk to anymore. and i'm not sure if some 17 year old girl's parents would fancy the fact that a 49 yr old man is emailing them.

    i mean... a "hey how are you?" now and then doesn't hurt.

    but doesn't it have to stop somewhere?
  17. andruca


    Mar 31, 2004
    Madrid (Spain)
    WRONG?!?!?! You want to know what's WRONG???? Having to stop going to a fellow's house to study because his mother (good looking divorced woman in her late 40s) is always trying to get you in her bed. Now HOW WRONG IS THAT?!?!?!?!?!

    Just tell him to stay out and make him realize how dumb such a thing is for a man his age. He has to be a man, accept his age and position and quit all these kiddie (mostly girlie) stuff.

  18. erm... i'm sure you have communicated with plenty of people younger than yourself over the net. and hey, what is so wrong with a bit of love? :p

    most of my friend's parents I can joke and hang with. Hell, I go for pints with my physics teacher at his/our gigs! :)

    if he is being perverted, then you should tell him to get a grip. i can see why you might feel awkward, i would - incase my aprents found stuff out about me. Otherwise though, I don't see anything wrong with this situation. =)
  19. Bruce Lindfield

    Bruce Lindfield Unprofessional TalkBass Contributor Gold Supporting Member

    Yup it's wrong - so... all of you kids stop posting here at TalkBass and leave it the experienced players - 40+ minimum!!

    Get off our forum!!! :D
  20. 43apples

    43apples Guest

    Nov 9, 2003
    I'm only 15..... 25 years to go then! :D