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Patience where do they come from?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by MAJOR METAL, Jan 4, 2006.


    MAJOR METAL The Beagle Father Staff Member Supporting Member

    Where does Patience come from?, is it a learned discipline or are we biologicaly affected in our personel patience with the outside world?. I would venture to say Patience is reflective of an individuals mental health and thus would dictate how one would deal with outside stressors.
  2. budman

    budman Commercial User

    Oct 7, 2004
    Houston, TX
    Formerly the owner/builder of LeCompte Electric Bass
    Patience was first intiated and exercised the very first time that Adam and Eve were getting ready to go somewhere.
  3. I think patience is a learned behavior. Through our experiences we learn that immediate action and/or results are not always the best.
  4. Fuzzbass

    Fuzzbass P5 with overdrive Gold Supporting Member

    Control of one's emotions (which might be the bigger issue) usually indicates maturity, wisdom, self-confidence. And I agree, these qualities make life easier to bear and therefore less stressful. OTOH, too much patience -- that is, tolerance to continued rude or abusive behavior -- can indicate lack of self-esteem. I'm all for turning the other cheek (or cheeks... grin) but at a certain point one has to know how and when to say "enough is enough".

    As for where self-control (or lack thereof) comes from: as with most personality traits, I believe it's environment. Parents, frequently. For example, every so often my father lost his temper. Never to the point of violence or even rage, but he'd sometimes get angry and yell (not just at the kids, but sometimes at my mom or others). The obvious lesson to me was that it can be OK to lose your temper. I now disagree. We're all human, and therefore susceptible to anger... self included, certainly. But it's better to express strong displeasure without anger, even when many of us would agree that the anger was justified. Strong emotion clouds judgment, and little gets accomplished when a disagreement becomes emotional. It's also about mutual respect (the Golden Rule, if you will). Don't get me started on "passionate politics/beliefs"! :scowl:
  5. I happen to believe that how you and where you were raised will go a long way in determining how much patience you have as an individual... so I'd venture that its very much both nature and nurture.

    MAJOR METAL The Beagle Father Staff Member Supporting Member

    Cool thanks Fuzz :)
  7. Brad Johnson

    Brad Johnson Supporting Member

    Mar 8, 2000
    Gaithersburg, Md
    I generally agree with this... but on the rare occassion losing your temper can actually get someone's attention who might otherwise be ignoring you. Granted there are many ways to lose your temper... myself, I tend not to yell, I just get very serious.

    Here's an example: You'd think I'd learn by now but about 15 years ago my sister's boyfriend, who was a DJ, needed some gear so I "sold" him a mixer and power amp for well under a quarter of what they were worth. I let him make monthly payments... or at least that was the agreement. I lived over 100 miles away so I couldn't just drop by and catch up with him.

    Of course he gave me nothing.

    Over the course of the year I probably called him several times about the money. When I did catch him at home he said he'd send some money.

    Of course he didn't.

    I finally ran into him at a wedding reception for one of my cousins. He was going to DJ and as soon as I saw him bring in the gear I walked up to him. He started in with the "I haven't forgotten you" BS and I told him we either go to an ATM right now and get my money or I'm taking my stuff. The look I gave him was later described as "homicidal".

    After he gave me the money, he told me he hadn't paid me because he didn't think I really needed it.

    I do believe that in some cases yelling conveys the seriousness of a situation and can get someone's attention too. Of course it can also be ignored... just like anything else.
  8. Brad Johnson

    Brad Johnson Supporting Member

    Mar 8, 2000
    Gaithersburg, Md
    The one (and only) time my son decided to try the "hissyfit in the store and embarass the parent thing" (he was probably 8 or 9), I looked at him with a straight face and told him:

    "Translation: Please, Daddy, whatever you do, don't get me anything".

    And walked away.

    He never did it again, in fact he'd point out other kids who were acting a fool and look at me and say "Can you believe that kid?".
  9. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Supporting Member

    I couldn't be bothered to read the rest of the thread, it is too long.

    Patience is a virtue, but she won't always wait; Dissension is the tension, it's what we've learned to hate.
  10. pigpen02


    Mar 24, 2002
    Patience is a learned behavior: one is only patient insofar as they are consequated for being so. If one were behaving patiently, and then didn't receive the consequence they were seeking, or some other favorable consequence, than the behaviors making up the patience topopgraphy would gradually be extinguished, and the subject wouldn't wait for anything.

    Its interesting, you can shape patience into the span and quality that you want with appropriate reinforcement....
  11. Brad Johnson

    Brad Johnson Supporting Member

    Mar 8, 2000
    Gaithersburg, Md
    I've just about had it with you. Grr... etc.
  12. Brad Barker

    Brad Barker

    Apr 13, 2001
    berkeley, ca

    this thread was OVER after this one! :D :D :D
  13. tribal3140

    tribal3140 Banned

    Nov 9, 2004
    near detroit...uh
    I could embark on a 33 page paper I did as a dissertation in college or explain my little story:

    I used to be a very hot headed person, punching, breaking hurting etc etc. I got this short fuse from my father.
    I watched him do the same as child. He never hit us but he definately had a short fuse sans patience.
    Taking you to my teens I was the same way. It took many many years and a hardcore will dedication to change in order to achieve the calm state I am in today.
    I practiced: self imposed internal stress and hurt. external positive and negative reinforcement. martial arts (jujitsu/traditional judo and kenpo) and many many hours of meditative breathing iunder the tatooers needle!

    After many years and introspection I now have a fuse and disposition of a very calm and laid back person. You would never know I was ever a monster. As with any behavior modification the innate genetic or learned initial problematic behaviors still exist they are just mitigated by self restraint and control.

    blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
    you get the point.