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Payback - Revenge is sweet!

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Fishheadjoe, Mar 25, 2009.

  1. Reading through some of the gig stories brought me back to my high school days as a concert and "stage band" trumpet player.
    During this time in my life, I had already been playing (gulp) guitar for around 7 years, so learning to read music in music class was a breeze for me. As such, I was also asked to learn to play the French Horn, Baritone as well as Tuba.
    Well, one summer way back in the 80's I was attending a music camp, as a trumpet player. In our group was also this very unhappy Tuba player, who passed his un-happiness to any and all who he encountered. He was despied by all. He was also, they guy who would play practical jokes on folks, so there was a great deal of animosity by many towards this guy.
    So, one day, I go back into my room and could smell something rotting... I pull back the sheet on my bed and tuba boy had filled my bed with clams he dug out of the lake. I was not happy, but revenge is sweet.
    So, next day during lunch, I go up to his room, found his tuba and crapped into the bell. It dropped with a thud, I then proceeded to turn the tuba so the turd worked it's way in and around the valve system. I carefully placed it back into it's original place.
    Fast forward after lunch, we had a full orchetra rehearsal, out on the lawn. (We were playing McArthur Park)
    I watched tuba boy trying to play his tuba, but no sound would come out. I watched him try and clean his spit valve, obviously not much came out.
    The director noticed his problem and suggested that maybe something fell into his instrument, and there's a hose just over there, maybe try flushing it out. Now, I have tears flowing down my cheeks as he proceeds to fill the tuba with water from the hose and starts turning it... and low and behold, doesn't "Mr Hanky" drop out of the bell.
    I don't know if he ever found out who did it, but I will say that his practical joking ended right then and there.
    Anybody got any related "revenge" story's?
  2. Spinal Tapper

    Spinal Tapper

    Nov 15, 2007
    Great story!

    Mine's not poo related, but one time in high school I got kicked out of a metal band I was in. They told me that I sucked - which I did - I had only been playing bass for about a year and had no musical training and no one in my family played music.

    Fast forward to Jan 2nd, 2009 in Chicago, IL (this is about 12 years later). My band is headlining at The Metro. There must've been close to 500 people there in attendance packed to the front of the stage. Guess who showed up...my old guitarist from my HS metal band. Is he in a band? No, he's married and has kids. So, what did I say to him?

    "Thanks for making it out" ;)

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