Physically damaging with a bass

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by jaco's potato, Jan 2, 2015.

  1. jaco's potato

    jaco's potato

    Oct 18, 2014
    Have you ever whacked someone with your like for example, hitting someone with bass neck
  2. I can't say I haven't considered the merits of wielding my bass as a weapon in the event of say, an uninvited nighttime visitor.

    Thrusting it body-first into one's face could probably take out some teeth or break a nose with enough force... heck, Keith Richards turned his Tele into a pretty effective baseball bat when Mick got attacked on stage back in the 80s; imagine what a Jazz Bass could do. :D

    ariwax, petrus61 and Stewie26 like this.
  3. BazzTard

    BazzTard Inactive

    A P bass is better, more PRECISE
  4. I have an old T-40 that could double as a sledge hammer during a demo and play a gig that night.
    You would have to give that dude a steroid jerk when swinging it.
    PortlandBass77 likes this.
  5. PipeRain

    PipeRain Operator Of Pointy Basses

    Dec 4, 2012
    Years ago I headstocked a guy who got too close to the stage, he wasn't paying attention to where he was going or the fact that in order to cut down on my own nervousness I was VERY animated onstage and stayed pretty much head-down the whole time, hiding in my (At the time) long hair. He was cool about it and my old bass was an absolute log, pointy headstock and all.
  6. zontar


    Feb 19, 2014
    I've never hit anyone with an instrument----on purpose.
  7. Bob-I


    Sep 12, 2014
    Not really, but in the mid 60s I was in a 10 piece band, 5 black and 5 white. This was during all the racial problems going on so we had constant problems revolving around the race mix in the band. If we played a mostly black venue, the white guys were called the backup band, if we played a mostly white venue, they were our singers.

    We'd often have to fight our way out and we'd use various pieces of equipment as shields. I once broke a headstock in one of these fights, I'm not sure how it happened.
  8. Just above where I rest my right arm on my P Bass are two very distinctive teeth marks. I bought the bass used and didn't notice them when I bought it but it sure looks like that at some point in time some dentist somewhere made a lot of money off my bass.
    Bulldog likes this.
  9. Johnny Crab

    Johnny Crab HELIX user & BOSE Abuser

    Feb 11, 2004
  10. Hi,

    Yes, but not on purpose. I was playing a place called the Canyon Corral. It's been gone about a dozen years now. It was just a neighborhood eatery and bar that had live music on the weekends, a small dance floor, and no stage. In fact, the band would set up in front of the back door. The patrons would enter and exit through the middle of the band out to the parking lot.

    We were having fun one night, getting a little loose. On a whim I walked out the back door in the middle of a song and just kept playing. When the end of the song was near I decided to go back in but was wondering how I would open the door and not drop a note. Just then a lady opened the door and held it open. I said, "Thank you very much!" and proceeded to enter the building. My headstock caught the husband square in the right eyeball as he was trying to walk out. He was drunk and upset. I apologized and he wanted to start something but I just kept on playing while trying to calm him. Finally the wife said, "C'mon honey, let's go!" I guess she didn't want her drunk husband to cause a scene. When I walked back in all the band friends were standing, laughing, cheering, and applauding. I felt bad for the guy because of my thoughtlessness. He probably woke up the next morning with a hangover and a shiner.

    Thank you for your indulgence,

    Gaolee, Treadstone71 and bass10bfb like this.
  11. vmabus


    Nov 1, 2013
    I hit myself in the mouth with the upper horn once
    organworthyplayer337 likes this.
  12. ReneB


    Dec 6, 2014
    Ithaca, NY
    I hope it wasn't during an attempt at a move like what Johnny Crab has in his post above!
  13. kevteop


    Feb 12, 2008
    York, UK
    I've never hit anyone with my bass but our trombonist did bonk a guy on the bridge of his nose with his slide once. There was a lot more blood than I expected!
  14. MegaSwing

    MegaSwing Your Obedient Bassist® Gold Supporting Member

    Nov 26, 2002
    Baltimore, MD USA
    A solid-body bass would be a highly effective battering ram in a number of situations, both offensive and defensive.

    At any given time I'll have a replacement neck lying around and think to myself how well-suited it is for beating someone senseless—better than a baseball bat, even—because you can swing it fast with one hand.

    With any luck, that opportunity will never arise.

    I can totally picture someone breaking a foot or a toe with a bass falling of a strap while it was being played.
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2015
  15. hsech

    hsech Work hard. My Social Security needs a raise.

    Jun 27, 2012
    Central Iowa
  16. delta7fred


    Jul 3, 2007
    A drunk guy staggered on stage and took a swing at our singer who easily side stepped the punch. The momentum of the swing carried the drunk towards our drummer's brand new Ludwig drum kit. I gently but firmly caught the drunk across the mouth with my P bass machine heads and guided him backwards off the stage into the grip of 2 security guards. (Military Police, it was on an Army training base). (New Years Eve 1971 IIRC).

    I gave it a damn good clean after that night.
  17. Phillip B

    Phillip B Chilling in the Sunshine State!

    Aug 3, 2014
    Tampa Florida
    No harm to anyone else - just me!

    I put straplocks on a strap... forgot they were on there.

    Next time I played the bass, I slung the strap over my shoulder...the newly "straplock weighted" end swung around in front of me and smacked me in the face :whistle:
  18. I threatened it once, discreetly, to an overly enthusiastic young lady that kept grabbing my mic stand and inadvertently bashing my mic into my teeth.

    She was surprised, but relented.
  19. My friend and I have been jamming together for 16 years we have collided with each other more times than I can count on stage and really hert each other but it's all in good fun and a good show
  20. Mike Brown

    Mike Brown

    Sep 1, 2014
    He didn't exactly use his bass, but it's pretty brutal nonetheless

    organworthyplayer337 likes this.