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Propose at a Gig?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [BG]' started by BJMtz, Nov 20, 2013.

  1. BJMtz


    Oct 18, 2010
    Phoenix, AZ
    I'm going to be proposing soon and trying to come up with ideas that are special and atypical. What do you think about proposing at a gig? Tacky? Romantic? Anyone ever do this?
  2. ChopperDave

    ChopperDave Hai-ohhhhhhh!

    Nov 14, 2012
    Boston, MA
    Hard to say if we don't know anything about you or your girl/guy ... (I'll assume you're a guy and she's a girl for the sake of expediency and in order to further promote the patriarchal hegemony--for the kids).

    Anyway, does she like gigs? Is it your band? Are you going to do it from the stage? Is she in the band? Is it a band you both like? Are you going to steal the mic from the singer?
  3. knumbskull


    Jul 28, 2007
    I'd try and do it somewhere SHE likes. If she loves gigs, have at it. If not, sell the Cannibal Corpse tickets to a buddy and start over.
  4. BJMtz


    Oct 18, 2010
    Phoenix, AZ
    She loves coming to my gigs. She's there every chance she gets. I only gig 1-2 times a month and she's always there watching.
  5. My wife hates to be put on the spot in front of a crowd. She did come to a lot of my gigs but only to be supportive and she probably spent most of the time chatting with the other band members' significant others. While I am sure she would have looked past it and still said yes, proposing during one of my gigs seems pretty low on the list of places I could have proposed at.

    That said, I have certainly had bandmates with girlfriends/spouses who thought their being in the band was the coolest thing in the world, and ate up every minute of it. For them, being proposed to during the gig would have probably been epic.

    Anyway, if you have to ask this on a forum, you probably should date a little longer to get to know her better :)
  6. lfmn16


    Sep 21, 2011
    charles town, wv
    I don't get the whole propose in public, exhibitionist thing. However, if you and your intended like it, what difference does it make what a bunch of strangers on the Internet think?
  7. huckleberry1

    huckleberry1 Supporting Member

    Jul 1, 2013
    Mesquite, Texas
    I think she would probably be offended, I'd never put a woman on the spot like that. Why don't you take her somewhere that is special to both of you and do it, that way she feels intimate with you & doesn't have to feel awkward sharing the feeling with everyone else. If your having to ask the question, you already know the answer. I think its a douchey move personally.
  8. This. Personally I don't think it's such a good idea to put her on the spot like that.

  9. ifallalot


    Nov 2, 2013
    Carlsbad, CA
    Do it in private and something that's special to her, not to you.
  10. dvh

    dvh Supporting Member

    Sep 1, 2006
    Halifax, Nova Scotia
    If you’re not absolutely certain of a “Yes” to a marriage proposal in public you deserve what you get....
  11. Hey there! I'm also in the "soon to be proposing" camp!

    I swayed back-and-forth a LOT, regarding the "propose at a gig" notion. Ultimately, i decided against it. Here was/is my rationale:

    - It's MY gig. So, people there are already focused on me (or moreso: my band). Or maybe they came to see another band we're playing with. Basically; Not everyone there would even know us or be invested in our relationship. To me, it'd be weird to let in some strangers on one of the biggest moments of our life. Also, i feel like it'd just be awkward afterwards. I know we're gonna want to "celebrate"... but.. i still have to finish my set, break down, load out, sell merch, etc.

    So, i've decided to go a more low-key, and intimate route.

    What friends of mine have said: No matter what you decide to do, the importance of the proposal will, in the end, far outweigh any associated pomp.


    EDIT: I HAVE seen this work, before though. If she/he's also in the band, it makes things a LOT more cohesive. Also, make sure to stack things in your favor... maybe let friends/family know what will go down so that those who REALLY care about you can be there with you, instead of a ton of strangers.
  12. phillybass101

    phillybass101 Supporting Member

    Jan 12, 2011
    Artist, Trickfish Amplification Bartolini Emerging Artist, MTD Kingston Emerging Artist. Artist, Tsunami Cables
    Corny. Dude be more romantic. Take her out for a walk under the stars. Take her on a trail hike in the woods etc.
  13. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    I've seen it done in public with a big deal made out of it three times. Twice the girl accepted in front of everyone to save face and then turned the guy down later when they were alone. The other ended in a break up before the wedding.

    I look at it like this. It's kind of like using foul language over the mic at live shows. Nobody will EVER leave a show saying "Man, that band was really good! I just wished they had dropped a few F bombs during the show and that would have been GREAT." The language COULD offend some of your fans, and will NEVER enhance their experience. The same goes for big public show off proposals. It won't make the proposal any better for her. She doesn't care about your big public announcement to the world that you love her. But it COULD backfire on you, so why do it?

    My wife and I are kind of crazy. We do lots of crazy things. But I proposed to her at the riverside of a state park sitting in the sand at sunset. Nobody else was around. The sky was on fire. The bottom branches of a live oak almost on our heads. Water slick as glass. Great breeze. We still go back there with our kids and have picnics or just sit and talk at that spot under the live oak where it all went down.

    We're big Red Sox fans. Doing it at Fenway would not have been as special as our beautiful private moment in a spot nobody else even thinks about when they walk by it. That's our spot. Whereas some stranger will be sitting in our seats at Fenway the next night. Beer spilled everywhere. Peanut shells all over the place. Nothing special about that at all.

    You're grown. Make your own choice based on your intimate knowledge of what she likes. Best of luck with it either way.