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Puns!

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by two fingers, Oct 26, 2017.


  1. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    ...and word plays. I love them. Yes, they're usually cheesy. Fine by me. I think they are a great way to keep things light. I use them all the time (when appropriate).

    Share some and when you have used them. I'm no so interested in famous ones by comedians.....but really there are no rules.

    Last night I was helping my kids with some crafts using clear tape. My wife came up and started chatting with us while we were working. I told her "Be careful what you say. I'm taping this whole conversation." :D (Wife rolled her eyes. :spit: 8 year old groaned. :spit: 5 year old cracked up. That's why she's my favorite. :laugh:)

    I was doing inventory at a music store once. I told the guy I was working with "1 accordion". He said "That's not an accordion. That's a concertina." I said, "Well, accordion to the box, it's an accordion."

    My kids used to like Dora the Explorer. I was in a toy store once and saw a rubber ball with Dora on it. It was......(wait for it)........ "Aaaaaaw, that's a Dora ball". (Say it out loud.)





    "Adorable." :wacky:




    I say stuff like that all day. I do it mainly to entertain myself. I am usually met with eye rolls unless it's really funny. But that's OK. I'm having fun.

    Do your worst. Let's have 'em.
     
    dr doofie, retslock, mbelue and 12 others like this.
  2. charlie monroe

    charlie monroe Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    Buffalo, NY
    I aspired to be indifferent, but I couldn't be bothered.
     
    -Asdfgh-, murphy, mikewalker and 4 others like this.
  3. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    I was at a museum with a group of friends viewing ancient Egyptian artifacts. They had some linen that the Egytians used as toilet paper.
    I said "Oh look, it's john linen." Only one guy got it.
     
  4. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Well played.....
     
    Will_White likes this.
  5. Must be where they get those little sayings to put in Fortune Cookies? :roflmao:
     
    TolerancEJ, pcake and S-Bigbottom like this.
  6. My daughter and granddaughter (Gee I'm old) came to town last month for a 25th anniversary of the formation of my daughter's High School softball team. (Gee I'm old) So the celebration was at the new softball complex. My 8 year old granddaughter (Gee I'm old) asked her Mom if she could get something to eat from the *concussion* stand. :laugh: (Did I mention that I'm old?)
     
    Corbusier, Stumbo, murphy and 3 others like this.
  7. A Garage Bander by any other name would be as old.
     
  8. Richland123

    Richland123

    Apr 17, 2009
    My friend recently said he was going to see a chiropractor. I told him that I heard he was not all that he was cracked up to be.

    Do you know why dentists don't have any of their medical awards hanging on their office walls?

    It's because they work with plaque removers.
     
  9. ONYX

    ONYX

    Apr 14, 2000
    Michigan
    Please---Absolutely no puns about about music. They always fall flat.
     
  10. Richland123

    Richland123

    Apr 17, 2009
    Do you what Beethoven and Mozart are doing these days?

    They are decomposing.
     
    murphy, TolerancEJ, Atshen and 4 others like this.
  11. ONYX

    ONYX

    Apr 14, 2000
    Michigan
    Very clef-er.
     
    mbelue, murphy, FilterFunk and 4 others like this.
  12. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    I'll check with the staff about it.
    I'll be sure to take notes.
    Until then, compose yourself.
    If nobody else will take care of it, I'll duet.
    I'll waltz right in there and pitch them on your idea....and try to reed their tone on the matter. It shouldn't be a major problem but could require a large scale solution. I'll conduct myself with professionalism. Having drawn up a petition, all I have to do is get some key signatures. But negotiating is my forte.



    See? I can't turn it off!!!!
     
    retslock, Atshen, Farseer and 4 others like this.
  13. Richland123

    Richland123

    Apr 17, 2009
    508c828eca3cd2f2ebbb4ffdafb42b98--dad-puns-bad-jokes-puns.
     
  14. Richland123

    Richland123

    Apr 17, 2009
    Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
     
    Bozendoka, 1bassleft, mbelue and 6 others like this.
  15. ONYX

    ONYX

    Apr 14, 2000
    Michigan
    You need to scale it back--you're going to get us all into treble. Just trill out and refrain. That's the key.
     
  16. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    Ancient technology was much higher than we believe. In fact, automobiles date back to biblical times.
    For it is written that God drove Adam and Eve from the garden in a Fury...

    We even know that the apostles carpooled - "for all of them were in one Accord"...
     
    mbelue, pcake, Jay2U and 9 others like this.
  17. Richland123

    Richland123

    Apr 17, 2009
    Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.
     
    mbelue, -Asdfgh-, murphy and 6 others like this.
  18. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    That blue me away when I red it!
    Orange you glad you went to see the doc???
    Maybe try some lavender tea?
    :wacky:
     
  19. Richland123

    Richland123

    Apr 17, 2009
    When notes get in treble, bass-ically they get put behind bars. The alto-nate punishment is to push them off a clef and hope they land flat on sharp objects.
     
    retslock, murphy, FilterFunk and 3 others like this.

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