Question about giving a toast

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by fmoore200, Jul 15, 2013.

  1. fmoore200


    Mar 22, 2011
    So I've been asked to be the best man at a wedding. While I am honored, I have never been to a wedding before, so I really don't know what is expected of any of the groomsmen, so I am a little nervous.

    Public speaking isn't a problem for me, but content and duration is. What do best men talk about? How long should it last?

    :eek: :help: :eek: :help:
  2. As a guy who has seen many many many speeches/toasts ( i play around 2 or 3 weddings a week) all i can tell you is keep it short and simple.

    There is nothing worst than seeing someone trying to be funny and digging his own hole for 10 minutes with people looking at each other with confused faces.

    Limit yourself to a couple funny/embarrassing anecdotes about the groom, and best wishes to the couple.
  3. What he said- SHORT and sweet
  4. blastoff99

    blastoff99 Moderators Local A440 Staff Member Supporting Member

    Dec 17, 2011
    Under the flight path
    There are online sites that will show you some "canned" toasts. Take one of those as a starting point, or just read a bunch to get the feel of them.

    Then modify your favorite or write your own. A toast doesn't have to be long (three sentences should be the limit, IMO), but should be heartfelt and memorable.
  5. Tituscrow

    Tituscrow Inactive

    Feb 14, 2011
    NW England
    Haha I'm best man at Xmas for my oldest and bestest mate....I'm on about my 10th draft and I've got about 30 seconds worth of material :)
  6. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    I gave a toast at an old friends wedding a few years ago. It ws pretty short, comical, and I had a good buzz on. I made it all up on the fly.

    My ex's father went on and on in his toast, so long that I dont remember anyone else getting to say anything, and it was embarassingly bad. He pretty much said how he liked his other daughter better... HA!
  7. IPA

    IPA Supporting Member

    May 5, 2010
    Avoid cliches. No obvious jokes, no cheezy stories. Nothing inappropriate or 'edgy'
  8. just don't. that's my thought. I have my wedding coming up in September and i do not want toasts. they are almost always painful to hear.
  9. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    Short and sweet is best. Tell an embarrassing story and bottoms up!

    I was at a wedding with a very drunk best man once, and the rambling, pointless toast went on FOREVER!!!!!
  10. Public speaking should follow the length of a woman's dress - short enough to keep their attention, long enough to cover the subject.

    I don't recall who gets the credit for that, but it wasn't me.
  11. fmoore200


    Mar 22, 2011
    Thanks for all the responses guys!

    That was my first thought, but it was a request of the groom, so I'm kinda stuck.. :what:

    I was trying to go for something original and personal (groom is my cousin, who I've lived with at times in our lives).

    Also, two or three sentences is about 15 seconds! Isn't that a little short? I don't want to put too little effort and seem nonchalant about their big day.

    I'm only asking because I've never seen a toast before and if this is normal I'll def go with it..
  12. Short is what you need to aim for. How many drunken fools are also gonna toast, as stated- at length, incoherently and/or in poor taste(yeah, I said that:D)... Be the guy that gets it right
  13. 6jase5

    6jase5 Mammogram is down but I'm working manually

    Dec 17, 2007
    San Diego/LA
    I've given many and married a few friends as well. You can't ever be too classy but you can certainly be too raunchy. Never a good plan....know your audience and play to the most conservative in the room.

    About 5 minutes before my best friend's wedding I came up with this theme...."Today we all witnessed the marriage of someone's son, someone's daughter, someone's brother, someone's sister, someone's cousin, someone's niece, nephew and someone's grandkids, someone's high school flame and without a doubt...... my best friend."

    Start sweet, toss in a light personal jab on the guy, lay some high praise on the wife and something cute/witty about the first time you met her, have everyone raise a glass....keep it under 60 seconds, no cursing...winner.
  14. bkbirge


    Jun 25, 2000
    Houston, TX
    Endorsing Artist: Steak n Shake
    My sister expected me to give a speech at her wedding, which she sprung on me about 15 minutes before I was supposed to do it. I told her I was going to scream "Drink 'em if ya have 'em!" at the top of my lungs after mumbling incomprehensibly, and she dared me to do it. So I did. Stunned silence from everyone. My sister and her husband laugh about that to this day. Apparently the people there who did know me didn't think it was out of character.

    That was nothing compared to another family friend who's gift to the bride/groom was a body contortionist exhibition (a bunch of circus folks). She did upside down splits in a bikini, right in front of a 10 year old boy who I'm pretty sure spontaneously exploded into puberty about 30 seconds later.

    Good times.
  15. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member

    There's an old joke about an Archbishop of Canterbury who was invited to give a speech and asked how long he'd need to prepare.

    He answered, "If I'm to speak for five minutes I'll need a month to prepare...

    "...if I'm to speak for twenty minutes I'll need a week to prepare...

    "...and if I can speak for as long as I like, I can start right now."

    The kiss of death is the guy who gets up and says, "I'd just like to say a couple of things quickly..." They INVARIABLY ramble on for half an hour and bore everyone to death. Seen it happen a zillion times. Plan EXACTLY what you're going to say, PRACTICE it, and EDIT it down to the minimum to get your story or point across.

    For a best-man speech, I'd say ONE funny, embarrassing-but-not-inappropriate story about your times together, and ONE heartfelt word of praise for what a great guy he is and what a great couple they are, and DONE. Short and simple.
  16. Meyatch

    Meyatch Supporting Member

    Nov 25, 2007
    I just gave one a month ago for my friend. I didn't time it, or even write it down, but I knew what I wanted to say. I would guess it was a minute and 30 seconds maybe? Don't be too long, everyone's waiting to eat. Don't say anything someone's grandmother wouldn't want to hear.

    Whatever you do, don't make it longer than like 5 minutes.

    I don't think there are any connoisseurs of best man speeches that go to weddings. If you don't go too long or make an ass of yourself or the groom, nobody is going to reminisce about it for years.
  17. fmoore200


    Mar 22, 2011
    Wow.. I'm actually a little surprised tbh.. I was thinking short, but that was around 2-3 minutes, but a lot of you guys are saying 1 minute.. That sounds pretty good to me
  18. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    Remember, the wedding is about your buddy and his new wife, not about you and your stories.

  19. slobake

    slobake resident ... something

  20. fmoore200


    Mar 22, 2011
    Absolutely, but I thought a really short toast would make it look like I didn't really care and just half assed the whole responsibility...

    I'm glad I asked..