Quit the band....finish 2 last gigs? Advice

[Bergerdude]

Hi,
Sorry long post....
So my drummer from a previous band looked for a band that needed both of us.
Everything seemed fine at first...this was the local "best" band from some local magazine, they allegedly had gigs ready to go....
and a full setlist ready to go.

So we join the band, practicing weekly (a 2 hour roundtrip for me) for 3 months, play 4 gigs.
We find out they are really inexperienced, the two vocalists can't harmonize, the one guitarist joined 2 weeks prior to us, and need our old contacts to book gigs.

Ok, so we give it the college try.
A gig surfaces the singers want to do. At a previous gig, someone asked us to play a "benefit" gig 2 hours away...the singer is overheard that he is going to ask $1200.

Drummer says he can't do it (family coming in from another country). They try looking for a Sub-drummer without asking him, and ask me if I will still do the gig behind the drummer's back.
I say I'd rather not. Somehow this gig that offered us $700 at first, will now offer us $1000 if I do it without the drummer.
Hmm....maybe the singer is skimming off the top?
I still say "no."

Anyway, the drummer is tired of the BS, and we both say we are leaving. They ask if I will do the remaining gigs, one mid-august...a birthday party for unknown $ (they were never forthcoming about the cash) and one at the end of August.

So the drummer they feel is easy to get a sub- for, but not me I guess. They want me to "help" them out since these gigs were already booked.

I need to also point out that the best $$ gig out of the 4 was the one I stuck my neck out for, saying that this band was better than they really are. They have that "in' at the bar now.
I also gave them all my booking contacts.

Some of the guys are nice, BUT it will be very weird playing with them, and can I trust the singer to pay me?

Am I a dick for not wanting to "help" them out, when they were scheming behind the drummer's back?

Good or bad...let me know your thoughts....

 

[Rockingbird]

It depends on how loyal to the drummer you are. Does he know you have these oppurtunities to play? Is he alright with it?

 

[ridgeback]

tell the drummer first...see what he thinks...if he says no then you work out whats more important money or his friendship..and if you take the 2 gigs do it cash up front or get someone else..

 

[Bergerdude]

I appreciate it....
I am loyal to the drummer, but he doesn't care if I do them or not.
I think them going behind his back was a big no-no.

I will make $200 and spend $35 in gas, and spend 8 hours of my time away from my kids/family with people I don't care if I ever see again.

Yet I will still feel badly...why I don't know!

One is a private event....easily canceled with no harm to the band, and the other they have a whole month to find a replacement.

The guitarist that says "I am leaving them hanging" is the same ass that was complaining that if I couldn't do weekly rehearsals he threatened to quit the band...lol.

Thanks.

 

[BrBss]

I'd tell the drummer you feel some from of commitment to the band, and want to finish the last 2 gigs before you leave. He'll probably be ok with that.

For you professionally, it would be best to finish the remaining gigs. If you leave now, it may come back to haunt you if word gets around that you "bailed without any notice" (people tend to spread their side of the story, which probably won't paint a good picture of you).

 

[ChrisB2]

Yet I will still feel badly...why I don't know!

You feel badly because you have a conscience and you don't want to do something wrong, which is a totally valid, and good feeling... although I don't think you would be wrong for dumping them, as they are obviously unprofessional, rude, and manipulative.

It sounds like you can choose for yourself, since the drummer doesn't care. If I got to play live music, get paid, and prevent guilt all at the same time, I know what I would do... even if I did have to drive and hang out with people I didn't like. But that's just me and IMO you can pick whatever you want to do, there is no wrong answer... like ordering food at Burger King; have it your way.

 

[SteveC]

I'd probably do the gigs, try to keep a good reputation. Although, these guys sound like they'd have no problems talking crap about you no matter what. Either way, it's good you are done with them. I don't trust the singer. I'd wonder if he's being fully forthcoming about pay.

 

[MalcolmAmos]

What to do? Those things you learned in kindergarten and Sunday school usually work out for the best.

If it was not for people it really would be easy. O'h well...

 

[Day]

Yeah just finish the gigs off and be done with it. Won't be resting on your conscience... sounds like you have a decent set of morals/ethics, so if you bail it will probably bother you for a while.

 

[Stumbo]

They want you to play a gig behind the drummer's back? Aren't forth coming with $$ gig info? What are these guys, grifters?

IMO, just restate the facts and that you are unable to move forward due to their lack of business ethics (DBness). Wish them well. They brought this upon themselves.

In the future, I suggest you keep your contacts to yourself until you see how things are working out.

As for the "college try", it's a myth. Seems to me that you walked into the situation with eyes wide open. Learn some lessons out of this and move on.

Here are a couple of links that I suggest be studied and memorized:
If I only knew then...
Best musical advice

 

[phatbass]

Finish the gigs you're committed to.

 

[electracoyote]

It's a commitment.

The others in the band may be unethical, that does not give you the right to be unethical.

Finish your obligation like a pro. Take the high ground. Otherwise, you give the rest of the band fuel for negative comments about you, and it makes you look no better than the rest.

 

[Bergerdude]

They want you to play a gig behind the drummer's back? Aren't forth coming with $$ gig info? What are these guys, grifters?

IMO, just restate the facts and that you are unable to move forward due to their lack of business ethics (DBness). Wish them well. They brought this upon themselves.

In the future, I suggest you keep your contacts to yourself until you see how things are working out.

As for the "college try", it's a myth. Seems to me that you walked into the situation with eyes wide open. Learn some lessons out of this and move on.

What was the myth is that these guys purported to only needed a bass and drums...when the guitarist had been there 3 weeks prior to us. We had stuff learned way before he did.

So there were misimpressions given to us by them.
I do appreciate your thoughts though.

 

[Bergerdude]

It's a commitment.

The others in the band may be unethical, that does not give you the right to be unethical.

Finish your obligation like a pro. Take the high ground. Otherwise, you give the rest of the band fuel for negative comments about you, and it makes you look no better than the rest.

A pro gets paid, this assumes that I will get paid...lol.

I can see the last gig now...."sorry we got paid by check, we'll mail your share next week."
THAT is what I am worried about.

Of course no matter what I do, they will say whatever they do.

Again, I appreciate your opinions.

 

[badstonebass]

Is this a Junior High garage band??

These guys sound like dumbasses. You should have bailed the first sign of trouble.

There are some RULES to being in a good band. Openness of bookings and pay scale is important. Not being lying jerks first and foremost.

 

[invader3k]

I wouldn't bother doing the gigs. These guys have already violated your trust and seem shady. I'm normally about fulfilling commitments, but if the other side violates the trust, all bets are off.

Thank goodness you have a good drummer already. Take him with you and find a real band. These clowns aren't it.

 

[Chuck King]

Tell them you'll do the gigs but need to be paid up front. From the vibe your stories give off, it does seem highly likely that you will never see the money from those shows.

 

[MNAirHead]

finish the gigs you're committed to.

May be time to firm up the drummer commitment...

 

[skwee]

Or, if you do it, get a contract (nothing fancy) so that you can trust that you will be paid.