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quitting drinking alcohol

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by mikal, Dec 3, 2013.

  1. mikal


    Aug 6, 2013
    Muskegon, Mi
    By definition, I'm an alcoholic. I drink, and continue to drink until satisfied, which increases more and more. I quit for 6 months back in 2012, but started drinking again early 2013. I had just 1 or 2 to start with, but gradually worked my way up to a 12 pack in a session once again.
    I'm 34, and I'm ready to get out of the game for good. Mentally, I'm under the misconception that alcohol makes me fun(er), more creative and motivated. Yet, when I drink(and smoke pot), I lose motivation and become a blob that just sits content doing nothing at all. Literally, a blob I may add, as when I quit drinking and changed nothing else I lost 30 lbs. Its all back now.
    I need to overcome my mind, and realize that numbing myself isn't the answer, and that things can be fun without getting buzzed.
    Yesterday was my first day back on the wagon. What is going to be the thing that keeps me sober? Desire? Regret? When the guilt wears off and relationships are repaired will I forget where I've been, and go back to destruction? .
    It all feels like a silly game to me. Why can't I drink like "normal" people? What's the hunger for pot and beer there for?
  2. DeathFromBelow

    DeathFromBelow Never Forget. Banned

    Dec 23, 2010
    Horten, Norway
    When you say "a 12 pack in a session",are you saying you drink a 12 pack every day?
  3. mikal


    Aug 6, 2013
    Muskegon, Mi
    No, I would take days off to clear my head, and ramp up desire to drink again. Usually the morning after a good run would result in the thought of never drinking again. 12 pack a session was a general reference that I worked up the tolerance to continue boozing and smoking until I was wasted, and felt I had achieved enough of a buzz to pass out or fall asleep.
  4. G00D+~VIBES


    Nov 21, 2008
    Kansas City
    I've found that when I add regular exercise to daily routine, my body craves unhealthy things less. Good luck man
    Art Damage and MrLenny1 like this.
  5. WalWarrior

    WalWarrior Supporting Member

    Mar 20, 2006
    Maryland Suburbs
    I too like to have a few cocktails and some beers. I guess it's all amount of moderation. I have a buddy of mine who slams beers because his wife give him hell about drinking. If she would lay off, he'd prolly drink alot less.

    I too am looking to give it up for a while, it does help you lose wait. If I had kids, my motto would be:

    "Daddy drinks because you cry"

    Good luck man, you can do it!
  6. mikal


    Aug 6, 2013
    Muskegon, Mi
    Ha, I have a 2 y/o boy, and a 6 y/o girl. Ironically, they are a good reason not to drink. I also have a wife. I'm not sure whether she is a problem. Most likely, she is the source of all bad things in my life.
  7. Admitting you have the problem is always a great start getting into a support group can help you stay sober. I had a drinking problem for many years and now I have no problem saying no! My problem was I love the taste of beer. And my friends and I used to go to a place that you could drink every type of beer from many different countries. I have since replaced it with non alcoholic beer which I drink on occasions,Fitness programs and live gigs. Good luck it isn't easy and you can't do it alone it is a diease that needs to be treated like one. RTS
  8. bass geetarist

    bass geetarist

    Jul 29, 2013
    Take this with a grain of salt, because I don't know what it's like to be in your specific situation (I've certainly had my fair share of drinks, but I've slowed way down in the last few years due to various health problems, but I was never much more than a weekend drinker), but I'd suggest finding some way of challenging yourself that is actually compromised by excessive drinking. The most obvious thing I can think of would be to start working out. It's helped me to cut way down on smoking (I still smoke occasionally, but I'm not buying a pack every day or two like I used to), and I think it could have a similar effect for drinkers. I actually find myself wanting to smoke a lot less when I think "I need to workout tonight (or tomorrow morning, or whenever), but if I buy cigarettes, I'll be worn out and exhausted for my workout". If you stick with working out long enough, you'll start to see improvements, which can make drinking seem a lot less appealing. You can get addicted to feeling healthy (stronger, better posture, better breathing, more energy), and you won't want to compromise the feeling by drinking. You'd also be surprised by what improved posture and stronger forearm muscles can do for your bass playing.

    Similarly, if there's anything intellectualy challenging that you've ever been interested in, but have never had the guts to look into, try it. Take science, for example. If you're one of those people that likes nature docs, or shark week, or aliens, or sci fi, or whatever... try reading some books (not very easy when you're drunk) and emmersing yourself in the subject. You might find yourself not wanting to drink so that you can maintain your faculties well enough to learn more. Science is just an example of course, substitute whatever you might be interested in.

    As I said, take this with a grain of salt. I saw your post and wanted to help, but, for all I know, you've already tried these options. In any case, good luck and all the best. At least you've recognized and admitted your problem. I know a few people that could take a lesson from you.
    Thomas Kirk likes this.
  9. Congratulatins on recognizing your situation and being willing to at least consider doing something about it. Many people never even get that far; they just stay in denial about it their whole lives.

    Just to let you know where I'm coming from, my mother was an alcoholic and drug addict until the day she died (by her own hand), my brother is an unrepentant alcoholic, and one of my cousins died in his 30s from cirrhosis of the liver. I've fought my own battles with addictions.

    With that background, here are my suggestions:
    1. Try attending a couple of AA meetings. If you think they're stupid, you don't have to go back. But at least try it. Millions of people have gotten sober, found meaningful frinedships, and developed a sense of spirituality there.
    2. Find a way to exercise regularly. Play basketball, roller skate, swim, walk, whatever. Just do something. It does wonders for your mental, emotional, and physical health.
    3. Don't quit drinking because you hate it, or because you hate who you are when you drink. Do it because you like yourself enough to treat yourself better.

    Good luck, and please reach out to us here if you need support.
  10. bassdude51

    bassdude51 Supporting Member

    Nov 1, 2008
    Central Ohio
    Might check with a doctor. Many of us that have a drinking problem are self medicating because of depression or some other mental issue. A prescription of some kind of anti-depressant might help.

    Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.............once on the wagon, always on the wagon. We can never drink again.

    There's AA. Eric Clapton does it! We can too!

    One day at a time! Don't drink today and make the same commitment tomorrow..........when it gets here. One day at a time. Don't look down the road!

    Best of luck to ya and your efforts!
  11. mikal


    Aug 6, 2013
    Muskegon, Mi
    Thanks geetarist! Actually, I think you're onto something. I started playing guitar when the friends of mine who are musicians were already out playing the town. One reason that I chose to quit is that I want to challenge myself musically and get myself out in front of people playing. I've never really played a gig. I lack the confidence, and band. :(
    I called a guy I played with for a while already today, and asked him if he needed a gigging bass player.
    Maybe that will be my destination. I've always loved live music, its closely related to a buzz for me though.
  12. mikal


    Aug 6, 2013
    Muskegon, Mi
    I tried AA. Many great people there, but it felt too much like a union meeting at church. I took a lot of valuable tips and info from my meetings even though I feel that it may not be right for me.
    Thank you everyone.
    Edit: and BTW, on a antidepressant now and have been for years. I think I have ADHD, but haven't been tested.


    Apr 16, 2010
    Your first sentence says it all.
    If you can't stop once you start, then get out now while you can.
    Some of my friends can have two drinks and call it enough.
    Others have to get hammered once they start.
    I don't drink anymore. It was fun for a long time. Always chasing the buzz.
    If you are drinking for effect, then you better quit now while you can. Good luck.
  14. bkbirge


    Jun 25, 2000
    Houston, TX
    Endorsing Artist: Steak n Shake
    I've never been an alcoholic though I did binge drink my first semester in college (20+ years ago now). But my father was/is an alcoholic. He was never mean or violent but as a child I knew something was very wrong when he'd drink, his demeanor would change instantly, a hallmark of the true alcoholic. Though he was a sentimental drunk he also made poor choices and was clearly less capable as a person. Whether you think it does or not, alcoholic behavior absolutely affects kids in a negative way. Just another perspective that might help you with motivation. If your wife is the source of all your problems then stay away from her. Or go to marriage counseling. Or both. Alcoholism isn't someone else's problem to fix though, it's yours.
  15. Jeff K

    Jeff K Supporting Member

    Jul 9, 2005
    Memphis, TN
    I'm pretty old now, so I rarely overindulge anymore. In my younger days, I definitely drank way more than I should have.

    One thing that might help you in giving it up is very simple. Every morning when you wake up sober and feeling good, jump into the shower and think to yourself, "Ah, the pleasures of sobriety!!" Appreciate the fact that your head doesn't feel like a throbbing melon, and you don't feel like crap from the night before. Little things like that can go a long way...
  16. mikal


    Aug 6, 2013
    Muskegon, Mi
    I'm not sure about my wife. Our relationship was founded on having a good time, 15 years ago now. Yesterday I announced to her and my family my decision.
    She didn't come home last night. I texted her when I was getting our kids ready for school, woke her up from sleep on her friends couch where she passed out somewhere around 3am.
    She got home about 6, then fell asleep again. I left for work and had to call/text her several times to get her up again so she could get our kids off to daycare/school.
    I've yet to talk to her about it, but knowing her she is not proud of herself.
    In her defense, she quit drinking while I chose to in 2012. Started when I started again.
  17. bassdude51

    bassdude51 Supporting Member

    Nov 1, 2008
    Central Ohio
    (keep in mind that when we take an anti-depressant and then drink, the alcohol cancels out the effect of the med and it can't do it's job to help us.)
  18. bkbirge


    Jun 25, 2000
    Houston, TX
    Endorsing Artist: Steak n Shake
    That's a problem. Until you (and her) define and really believe "good time" is something other than substance abuse then you will both have a hard time of it. And if you are each other's enablers and/or are at different stages of desire for recovery then I suspect you guys need to get in to see some therapists that can help devise a long term realistic game plan. Sounds a bit complicated to take on by yourself.
  19. mikal


    Aug 6, 2013
    Muskegon, Mi
    Problem is my middle name
  20. bkbirge


    Jun 25, 2000
    Houston, TX
    Endorsing Artist: Steak n Shake