Quotes from Gigs

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by heroincredible, Jun 22, 2008.

  1. Post your favourite quotes from your shows, on stage or just people talking to you at show.

    After out set tonight, I was talking to a friend who was getting ready to leave. One of the girls in the audience approaches me and we start talking about all sorts of stuff. Couple of my friends come up and join the conversation, which leads to TV show theme songs. I mention the Unit, nobody has seen it so I describe it.

    Girl:"Sounds like a guy show."
    Me:"Some parts. There is plenty of stuff there for girls to like in it as well. Like my gf, she likes it"
    GF:"I like your unit"
    *everyone laughs*
    Me:" Its a well rounded...show."

    Same show, but just as we coming off stage.

    Friend's gf: "Dave, I want your babies!"
    My gf: "No, they're mine!"
    Friend of my gf: "I want your babies too!"
    Me: "Ladies, ladies, theres plenty of me to go around."
  2. Lizooki


    Feb 24, 2008
    "Hey! Did you know you are playing your guitar upside down!"

    I thought it was too hilarious to get mad , so I explained about it being a bass and that you were supposed to play it this way.

  3. dj150888


    Feb 25, 2008
    Belfast, Ireland
    Recording session, one guitar player turned up late (was ok, had been arranged beforehand), I was laying down my bass tracks, adding new improv. parts as I went, she says, "Here, whats that, I don't have a clue whats going on", to which our engineer replied, "What? In General?"

    Probably not that funny, but it was at the time.
  4. mrjim123

    mrjim123 Supporting Member

    May 17, 2008
    I walked off the stage to the bar during a break one night and a guy at the bar said to me, "How'd you like it if I picked you up and ran your head through the ceiling?" I just walked away and lived to play another day. :spit:
  5. Vynns

    Vynns Guest

    May 5, 2008
    I'm the bassist in our band (of-diddly-course), but we have this one song where I play guitar. When we get off stage the first time we did that live, some girl said to me: "omg omg omg! That song where you play guitar was the best *eva*! roflcopterkthxbye". So I said thanks and went to get myself a beer all happy and stuff. But now I can't decide if it was a compliment about my guitarplaying or a negative comment about my bassplaying. Hmmm...
  6. ()smoke()


    Feb 25, 2006
    :D i've met that guy a couple times before

    edit: and good move--it's not as fun as it sounds!
  7. Lammchop93

    Lammchop93 Supporting Member

    Feb 4, 2007
    Louisville, KY
    I had a gig today, and the bassist in the band before saw me pull my bass out of the case, he said, "Can I have sex with your bass?" I was like, "The bassist in the band before you gave it AIDS I think."

  8. Amazing local bass player's famous last words:

    "Well everybody, nows the time for, *giggles*, Nows the Time"

    Man: "Wow that bag is so big you could fit a person in there"
    Bassist: "Yeh, or a lot of Babies"
  9. Curtybob


    Jun 2, 2007
    Jackson, MO
    This was probably 14 or 15 years ago, and our band at the time got a gig playing at a bar way out in BFE. It was pretty cool. We got a Friday and Saturday night headliner for our first (or one of our first, can't remember) gig. Since it was soooo far out in the sticks, my Mom talked the owner into letting my 12 and 14 year old brothers come to watch for the first set. Considering I was underage, the owner let it slide.

    We play our first set, and the guitar player decides that most of the people were digging the show, and starts into a short but awesome solo. After he lets out his last run, my youngest brother (probably our biggest fan at the time) yells out really loud, "You guys should do a solo.... together." So we ridiculed him over it for years.

    He no longer comes to see me play. :atoz:
  10. whilst playing at a local festival, my gui**** decided to tune to drop D, by ear when he was completely smashed. upon ****ing the entire tuning of his guitar up, he proceeded to say 'That'll Do!' and begin the song :-(

    fortunately, that was recorded and we can still rip him for it now :-D
  11. Lemoore-on


    May 11, 2008
    Our singer the morning after a gig that he took 2 (hot Bi) girls home after.

    After he was asked how was it
    "Its wasn't as exciting as you might think"

  12. Just J

    Just J Guest

    Jul 27, 2007
    Am I missing something? You a lefty?
  13. One of the girls who came to see us ALL the time, who is well known as the chick that takes it in the butt, kept yelling out a silly request. Finally, our singer yelled something to her that I forget, but what I DO remember is he called her "Brown Town". I almost peed myself when I heard that through my monitor!!!!! :D:D:D
  14. Curtybob


    Jun 2, 2007
    Jackson, MO
    Gee whiz, people pick on her for that? I always thought it was like getting the slice of cake with that huge icing flower on it. Y'know.... marriage qualities 'n stuff. As a matter of fact, I've been thinking about maybe listing it in my prenup. :D
  15. Cinimod

    Cinimod Guest

    Dec 30, 2007
    Not me, recently joined a band who i have been good mates with for a few years and i have now filled in on bass duties. We play with a click track in our ears. After doing a show some drunk guy comes up to the old bass player and says "here you what were you listening to while you were playing"
    his response "oh we were just listening to football on the radio" textbook.
  16. IanStephenson

    IanStephenson UnRegistered User

    Apr 8, 2006
    A friend described a similar experience in the same way - turned out he wasn't really necessary to the proceedings, and ended up a little left out.
  17. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    Early gig with a great singer who had a really deep, wonderful bass voice.
    We had a tape recorder going out in the audience to hear how we sounded.
    And we picked up two girls talking at their table.

    One says "These guys are really good, I think the singer's got an awesome voice, but it's too deep for me to tell".
  18. Thankful birds

    Thankful birds Supporting Member

    Jun 17, 2008
    Pittsburgh, PA
    My band was asked to play a benefit for the homeless, which, unbeknownst to us was a benefit "for the homeless," as in we played in an outdoor compound to about 200 homeless people. My singer, who was trying to be uplifting (read:cheesy) actually said over the mic "Have any of you ever had a dream that people told you wouldn't come true?" Suddenly, 200 people get real quiet and I'm thinking, "duh, they're homeless." I had tears running my face from trying so hard not to laugh. I know, I know, I'm going to hell, but the drummer and guitar player are going with me- they laughed out loud.
  19. LMAO!!!! Hats off to you, sir! :D
  20. jimc


    Sep 17, 2002
    New Carsmell, CA
    Proof of bass player invisibility....

    Just finished our first set and a guy comes up complimenting the band. He's kinda boring so the other guys drift off and I'm stuck with him.

    So then he says 'how long have you known these guys?'. 'About 18 months' I say. Then he asks 'So do you follow them around on all their gigs?'

    'Kinda, I've been playing bass with them for 3 years, you didn't see me on stage?'

    'You must have been stood behind somebody' is his answer

    Gimme a break!