RANT: anybody else sick of the anti-child militancy?

Having a child of my own doesn't mean I have to enjoy other people's kids.
These days people don't discipline their kids & frankly they're running amok some places.

 

That was quite a rant. Forgive me if I skimmed it...

Remember when parents knew better than to drag Ill behaving kids into nice public settings? I do. An, even as a father of three, I have zero issues with child free zones. If anything, it's sad that we have to use rules to regulate common sense.

 

It is a condemnation of poor parenting, not of children themselves.

 

I love kids. Adults, on the other hand...

 

I think it may be too late to educate those parents whose kids behave like animals. My wife is a kindergarten teacher; I hear stories on a daily basis that would make you weep for humanity - and it's rarely the kid's fault.

 

Well tell them to keep their mok on a leash. Yeesh some people !

 

The problem is not education. The problem is lack of parenting. "Kids being kids" in a restaurant is one thing. Sure, they can giggle, blow bubbles in their drinks with their straws, and will probably spill most everything they touch. We can laugh. We can cut up. But there is a HARD LINE I draw when it comes to respecting those around us. My children WILL NOT bother others while they are trying to eat. Seeing to it that they don't is MY job, not their teacher's job.

I have fun phrases that I use to train them. When we get ready to walk into a restaurant I am them "Ladies, where are we going right now?" They answer (with their eyes rolling of course) "An open place of business and not a playground." Then I say "And who are We?" They answer "People, not monkess on a playground."

Yes, we have fun. Yes, we go to fun places and go nuts. I will take them to kid friendly restaurants as well as others. When we go to Chic-fi-la (most have indoor playgrounds) or Chuck E. Cheese they can run around like crazy people and all I will do is try to prevent their untimely deaths. But when you are at a nicer place, no you can not run around.

We recently went as a family to our favorite sports bar for dinner. Just your average local spot with 400 TVs and really good burgers and wings. This group came in after some sort of baseball game. There were 8 adults and six kids. One of them had been drinking something from a paper cup when they came in. Before the parents were even seated good the boys had balled up the paper cup and began a game of cup ball IN THE RESTAURANT. For those of you who don't know, cup ball is like baseball only the balled up cup is the ball and your hand is the bat. The "parents" finally brought the game to an end the THIRD TIME the ball landed on someone else's table.

The boys we're just being boys. Their parents were idiots. My girls kept asking me what was wrong with their parents. I simply said "They are dipsticks."

Then there are the useless parents who let their kids stare at a screen (a phone, an iPad, a video game of some sort) the whole time they are in a restaurant "So we can have a few minutes of peace to eat". The problem is they let the urchins play those idiot boxes super loud. It's as if they don't even notice it.

For my background I am almost exactly like you @andruca only a few years ahead. My girls are 5 and 8. We had our first when I was almost 39.

I err on the side of liberty every time. So, no, I don't think children should be banned. But I also think a business owner has the right to ask dipstick "parents" to have their children pipe down somewhat or leave.

@andruca keep it mind that math and science is the job of your children's education system. But educating your children in moral values, respect, manners, decorum, etc. is YOUR job. You can allow "kids to be kids" without allowing them to disturb those around you at the same time. But it takes YOUR time and attention to do it. My children don't behave because I snatch them or yell at them. Theu behave because I am engaged with them playing "I spy", or drawing pictures or playing tic-tac-toe with them on the backs of the kids menus, or asking them questions about their day at school, or teaching one how to multiply while my wife reads a story with the other. I don't pawn them off on the rest of society to deal with while I eat. That would be disrespectful on MY part, not my kids.

 

Sometimes my grandson is just too energetic and rambunctious to be in a restaurant, yup he is a kid. Taking him for a walk outside and helping him calm down usually helps.

 

i am 19 years older than my adopted son, still he managed to come out alright despite my excellent parenting.

 

Excellent! Dead on.
It is interesting how the paradigm has changed. When I was a kid, I understood there were two rules for behavior, one for home and one for public. Unruly kids were not accepted and the parents of those kids were usually embarrassed. In today's world, if you object to a kid running and yelling through a public place, you are a nasty old kid hater. I want to tell them, "No, I don't hate your kid. I feel sorry for your kid. It is you I don't like."

 

When I was growing up, it was not uncommon for ANY adult in the neighborhood to get us kids back in line.
We all responded appropriately, because a) we realized we were out of order and b) we were taught to respect adults.

I'm sure plenty of you guys are familiar with the saying "Children are seen, not heard". That was my childhood in public. "Speak when you are spoken too" etc.

The other day a cousin of mine gave me a line of crap about how my asking her kid not to do something was not within my purview. Note, the kid was wrong and I merely ASKED them to cut it out.

Reading the papers and watching the news these days, it seems that now even teachers are prevented from or vilified for trying to instill discipline in children.

I guess that well behaved kids are not something our society values anymore.

 

This is a large post but, forgive me, I am only going to address a very small portion. What ever happened to it takes a community to raise a child? I had a friend come back from Japan recently and he informed me that the school system there teaches nothing but manners and social skills until grade five or so. The western world view (particularly in USA) is very neoliberal and puts a major emphasis on personal agency, potentially too much emphasis. Also, I think the school does actually make a point to instill values beyond math and science. A huge part of school is socialization and the skills that develop from it even if it isn't a formal class. So I do think the OP has a good point in saying the education system should bear some responsibility. Heck, we all agree what goes into the curriculum and nobody is suggesting adding morals/ethics/social skills classes. I completely agree that home life has a play in everything but if your parents came up in a crap education system that instilled crappy values they are probably going to perpetuate that junk on their kids. The only way to break that cycle is through collective action.

For the record, I am very pro kid-free zones and, no, I do not hate kids. I realize you made a choice to have kids but that does not mean I want to be bothered by them. There are plenty of kid options available, take them there. I can think of one mediocre restaurant in the city which I occasionally go to only because of the lack of children. But, like the OP said, maybe I just do not experience this phenomenon to same degree in Canada.

 

I love it when I see a kid on a leash. It keeps them off my lawn.

 

I haven't noticed any anti kid stuff, maybe because I don't have kids - but I have noticed some people who seem overly sensitive to kids being around. A kid crying on a plane goes unnoticed by me, until some idiot starts getting upset about it. Then I get annoyed at the idiot getting in a huff. Same in any public place. Don't know why, but I don't even notice kids until someone starts getting annoyed at them. If anything I think they add life to things. Even when they're throwing tantrums.

 

I am not sure if kids are better or worse than me when I was but a mere pratt. I do know there will always be bratty kids, and good kids. And with that there will always be parents that are better than others.

 

My wife and I love playing tag in our house with the kids and anyone else who is there. I wonder what the neighbors think of all the running around, yelling and laughter. Our house is connected to houses on either side of us.
The other night I was woken up at 3:30 am by young adults having a party in their back yard. What I would have given for a bottle rocket at that moment.