Had a realization today. Typically I find others inspirational. All of my life, I've been told how badass I am on bass. Today, I was put in my place simply by watching and listening. I realize that I am badass to a degree. But that degree is very limited. My improv skills are weak. My left hand is weak. My familiarity with any genre other than metal, rock, and reggae is weak. And when I play, I leave people with their jaws agape, but I know nothing. I can't just fit in. What I write is essentially orchestrated - start simple and expand. I will never be good enough to even view what level I would like to attain, much less get there, even to my own point of view. I am an intellectual. I am shy. I am an introvert. I have self-confidence issues. I have self-esteem issues. I tend to hang along the edge of a crowd and quietly work my way in. IF I get to the center, I have no problem expressing my thoughts, assuming I can duck back into the crowd. Being able to hide behind anonymity on the internet makes it easier to express myself without fear of retribution. So, I am done. I quit. The dream is dead. My drive is gone. I will certainly keep some things. I want to teach my daughter the joy of music, but not the misery of failure. Peace y'all, much love. Don't give up like I did. I will always consider myself a musician. I will always consider myself a bassist (not a bass guitarist). In all likelihood, this will be my final post. I've already wasted too many years, too much passion, too much energy, too much heartache, into something that will never appease me. Can't do it anymore. I just can't do it. If for some god forsaken reason someone wants to get in touch with me, my email is: firstname.lastname@example.org Jam on, and farewell. Maybe I'll see you on stage.