Psst... Ready to join TalkBass and start posting, make new friends, sell your gear, and more?  Register your free account in 30 seconds.

Really bad music joke (don't kill me)

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Kelvin, Mar 25, 2002.


  1. Kelvin

    Kelvin

    Apr 30, 2000
    Singapore.
    Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe; as it happens, in Transylvania. They're driving a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It's late, and raining very hard. Bob can barely see 10 feet in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car, but to no avail. The car swerves and smashes into a tree.

    Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees his new wife unconscious, with her head bleeding. Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her to the nearest phone. Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light.

    He heads towards the light, which is coming from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks. A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife, Betty. We've been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone??"

    "I'm sorry," replies the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master is a doctor. Come in and I will get him."

    Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor. I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory."

    With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries; so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table. After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion."

    Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty are no more. The Hills' deaths upsets Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his pipe organ. For it is here that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, haunting melody fills the house.

    Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. As the music fills the lab, his eyes catch movement. He notices the fingers on Betty's hand twitch. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise! He is further amazed as Betty sits straight up!

    Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master:












    "Master, Master!... The Hills are alive with the sound of Music!"
     
  2. old_skool

    old_skool

    Aug 17, 2000
    Milwaukee, WI
    Wow....Paul, about those new smilies...
     
  3. Dave Castelo

    Dave Castelo

    Apr 19, 2000
    Mexico
    :confused: <----nearest one to your special smilie, Old Skool
     
  4. Dave Castelo

    Dave Castelo

    Apr 19, 2000
    Mexico
    bababooey!
     
  5. Trees and highways in Transilvania ??

    iirc ( and i always do ;) ) transilvania ( East Romania , for you non-dracula fanatics ;) )is the most rigid mountain-area in the world.. it has only few really small roads that lead to some miniscule villages..
     
  6. SuperDuck

    SuperDuck

    Sep 26, 2000
    Wisconsin
    C'mon guys, I thought that one was pretty good...
     
  7. Gabu

    Gabu

    Jan 2, 2001
    Lake Elsinore, CA
    Awesome! :)
     
  8. *gets the kettle and poison-tipped spears*

    *points at Kelvin* ooog! Get him!!

    Just kidding,

    wow, that was actually pretty good. I'll have to tell that to some of my friends!