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Really inappropriate uses of a Bass

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by DeMayunn, Feb 21, 2013.


  1. DeMayunn

    DeMayunn

    Dec 12, 2012
    Israel
    Anyone got stories of a bass being used for something its clearly not meant to be used for?

    Inspired by a fellow friend bassist who told me he used his old 5 stringer as a toy of aphrodisiac nature with his then-girlfriend... needless to say when that ibanez went up for sale i didnt offer.
     
  2. I used my P bass as a baseball bat once
     
  3. Floyd Eye

    Floyd Eye Banned

    Feb 21, 2010
    St. Louis

    Ironically the neck on a P bass is reminiscent of a baseball bat . :bag:
     
  4. I've seen plenty of people recording demos of a bass and playing it like it's a guitar, that count? :D
     
  5. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Let's just say my old '76 P bass was used for "self defense" during a bar fight in South Hill VA in '89. Not a scratch was left on the bass. As for the guy at the other end of it? There was a "scratch".

    By the way, I never used a bass as a sexual toy. But I did leave at least one out in my apartment at all times just so that when I brought girls over they would think that I played "guitar". :cool:

    At the time I didn't give a crap if they got it right. Teaching them proper usage of musical terms was not my ultimate goal.
     
  6. MOTORHEADBANGER

    MOTORHEADBANGER Spud-boy looking for a real tomato

    Dec 23, 2008
    Sidney, Indiana
    Haha. Been there, done that.

    While screwing around with several friends/bandmates back in high school, we played a game of "bass-ball" by launching tennis balls and hitting them with my olympic white Fender P (using the back side, of course).
     
  7. f.c.geil

    f.c.geil

    May 12, 2011
    I was once up a certain well-known creek sans paddle, so my bass stood in...
     

  8. Uhhhhh...I've um, done that with a female friend, but it was with a Warwick Corvette...
     
  9. MeLikeBass

    MeLikeBass Supporting Member

    Oct 20, 2010
    Indianapolis, IN
    Used to throw darts at a buddy who would block the incoming projectiles with his p-bass :bassist:
     
  10. JaamE

    JaamE Owner of the GK Angry Bird amp

    Apr 13, 2011
    Olympia, WA
    You'd have to take the strap button off that before you got it near me :)
     
  11. pocketgroove

    pocketgroove

    Jun 28, 2010
    Detroit
    Ouch...my thoughts too! :eek::D
     
  12. St Drogo

    St Drogo

    Oct 9, 2009
    Netherlands
    This is the first time i hear of a bass relic-ing a person. Hope you did a tasteful job, one can get carried away quickly :D

    Maybe I'm just not creative enough in the sack, but i have no idea how someone would use a bass for sexual endeavours. And a fiver at that. Surely you'd opt for a piccolo or at least a shortscale. And a big woman.
    Please no one answer that. :p
     
  13. Remember, back in the day, Warwick countersunk Dunlop straplocks in to the body...:)
     
  14. Shanannigan

    Shanannigan

    Feb 25, 2011
    Ontario
    I have had several people point out how much the horn on my Corvette seemed strangely phallic. Never given it a shot, I don't think my girlfriend would be down.
     
  15. St Drogo

    St Drogo

    Oct 9, 2009
    Netherlands
    Ohhhhhhh. The horn. Of course!
     
  16. DeMayunn

    DeMayunn

    Dec 12, 2012
    Israel
    When it comes to a bass being really phallic, but not intentionally, my washburn taurus takes the cake.
    [​IMG]

    And if i understood correctly, i think he used the headstock :help:
     
  17. punkjazzben

    punkjazzben

    Jun 26, 2008
    Australia
    Yeah, Corvettes are immensely phallic. There's even two different lengths.... SCHAAAWING!
     
  18. Hmm...
    Wife read all the 50 Shades books... Check
    I own a Warwick Thumb with similar horn... Check

    Think a Conklin GTBD-7 horn is strecthing it a bit? (lol @ my own pun)
     
  19. Mehve

    Mehve

    Jun 2, 2012
    Kitchener, ON
    I knew there was a reason single cuts were bad.
     
  20. single cuts = chastity belt
     

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