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Really inappropriate uses of a Bass

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by DeMayunn, Feb 21, 2013.

  1. DeMayunn


    Dec 12, 2012
    Anyone got stories of a bass being used for something its clearly not meant to be used for?

    Inspired by a fellow friend bassist who told me he used his old 5 stringer as a toy of aphrodisiac nature with his then-girlfriend... needless to say when that ibanez went up for sale i didnt offer.
  2. I used my P bass as a baseball bat once
  3. Floyd Eye

    Floyd Eye Banned

    Feb 21, 2010
    St. Louis

    Ironically the neck on a P bass is reminiscent of a baseball bat . :bag:
  4. I've seen plenty of people recording demos of a bass and playing it like it's a guitar, that count? :D
  5. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    Let's just say my old '76 P bass was used for "self defense" during a bar fight in South Hill VA in '89. Not a scratch was left on the bass. As for the guy at the other end of it? There was a "scratch".

    By the way, I never used a bass as a sexual toy. But I did leave at least one out in my apartment at all times just so that when I brought girls over they would think that I played "guitar". :cool:

    At the time I didn't give a crap if they got it right. Teaching them proper usage of musical terms was not my ultimate goal.

    MOTORHEADBANGER Spud-boy looking for a real tomato

    Dec 23, 2008
    Sidney, Indiana
    Haha. Been there, done that.

    While screwing around with several friends/bandmates back in high school, we played a game of "bass-ball" by launching tennis balls and hitting them with my olympic white Fender P (using the back side, of course).
  7. f.c.geil


    May 12, 2011
    I was once up a certain well-known creek sans paddle, so my bass stood in...

  8. Uhhhhh...I've um, done that with a female friend, but it was with a Warwick Corvette...
  9. MeLikeBass

    MeLikeBass Supporting Member

    Oct 20, 2010
    Indianapolis, IN
    Used to throw darts at a buddy who would block the incoming projectiles with his p-bass :bassist:
  10. JaamE

    JaamE Owner of the GK Angry Bird amp

    Apr 13, 2011
    Olympia, WA
    You'd have to take the strap button off that before you got it near me :)
  11. pocketgroove


    Jun 28, 2010
    Ouch...my thoughts too! :eek::D
  12. St Drogo

    St Drogo

    Oct 9, 2009
    This is the first time i hear of a bass relic-ing a person. Hope you did a tasteful job, one can get carried away quickly :D

    Maybe I'm just not creative enough in the sack, but i have no idea how someone would use a bass for sexual endeavours. And a fiver at that. Surely you'd opt for a piccolo or at least a shortscale. And a big woman.
    Please no one answer that. :p
  13. Remember, back in the day, Warwick countersunk Dunlop straplocks in to the body...:)
  14. Shanannigan


    Feb 25, 2011
    I have had several people point out how much the horn on my Corvette seemed strangely phallic. Never given it a shot, I don't think my girlfriend would be down.
  15. St Drogo

    St Drogo

    Oct 9, 2009
    Ohhhhhhh. The horn. Of course!
  16. DeMayunn


    Dec 12, 2012
    When it comes to a bass being really phallic, but not intentionally, my washburn taurus takes the cake.

    And if i understood correctly, i think he used the headstock :help:
  17. punkjazzben


    Jun 26, 2008
    Yeah, Corvettes are immensely phallic. There's even two different lengths.... SCHAAAWING!
  18. Hmm...
    Wife read all the 50 Shades books... Check
    I own a Warwick Thumb with similar horn... Check

    Think a Conklin GTBD-7 horn is strecthing it a bit? (lol @ my own pun)
  19. Mehve


    Jun 2, 2012
    Kitchener, ON
    I knew there was a reason single cuts were bad.
  20. single cuts = chastity belt

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