Relationship Problem (Retitled Thread)

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Bardolph, Apr 22, 2003.

  1. Bardolph


    Jul 28, 2002
    Grand Rapids, MI
    I know this is very long but I need somebody to talk to this about-

    Ok so I was with this girl for 13 months and 9 days and it was an awesome relationship and I had it made. So then on April 1 she dumps me in biology class, we were considering it more of a break than a breakup (meaning we'd get back together.) So I was pretty sad about that but I managed cause we both knew and agreed that we still liked eachother very much. So the next day at school (april 2) I heard from somebody that this guy asked her out to prom right after he heard we'd broken up. Prom is friday (april 25). I was shocked that he'd do something like that but then I talked to my X and found out she had accepted. I was bothered and didn't see her the rest of the day. So the next day at school (april 3) I talked to her in biology class and talked to her about this guy who is one of those chick users and that he's that type of guy cause I've heard it firsthand from his mouth. I got the impression that she understood what I was talking about but later that night she went out with him and went to his house. He kissed her there (tongue in mouth) and then they went out to a movie. So she got back that night and we talked online and she was really scared that he'd done that and she said she was sorry and regretted everything and said she was going to tell him she's not going to prom with him anymore. Then came spring break and we didn't see eachother at all. So when spring break was over I was talking to her about this guy and now she's unsure if she wants to go to prom with him but she says she doesn't like him any more than a friend. But then a few days later she wants to go to prom with him and she says she doesn't know if she likes him. And a few days ago I was hanging out at her house and she was doing non-friend things with me like having me sit in the same chair as her right in front of her with her arms around me and putting her face against mine. My mistake, I shouldn't have done any of that. So we got to talking about prom and I jokingly said "he's probably gonna try to kiss you." and she says "yeah he probably will." And I asked her if she's just let him do that and she said yes. Keep in mind this is with her leaning against me with her arms around me. So I was dissapointed in her character and I walked home and talked to her online. We started talking about this guy and she had earlier said she didn't want a boyfriend relationship with him and he didn't want one with her either. I asked her if she thought it was ok for friends to kiss and cuddle and that kind of stuff with no kind of commitment and she said yes. This surprised me, I had never known she was like this. But she still said she liked me a lot and she didn't really know if she liked him. So tonight (april 22) was a jazz band concert and I'm in the jazz band so I asked her if she wanted to come and she said she was busy with work, but she showed up with this guy and when I looked back at where they were sitting they had their arms around eachother and she had her head on his shoulder. So now I think it's time I just said goodbye to her cause I don't want to watch her stomp on my feelings anymore.
  2. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    I didn't read what you wrote at all, but I'd just like to say that I in fact, love women. They are curvey, they smell nice ... all that I look for in a "life partner".

    ... man, that was a terrible post... well... I guess I'm gonna hit the submit reply button now... here I go.
  3. PollyBass

    PollyBass ******

    Jun 25, 2001
    Shreveport, LA
    I didn't read that big blob of black either.

    But I agree with whats his name, they are quite nice.

    If you don't like women.... maybe you need to admit something to yourself.
  4. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA
    So it's been decided... whatever you are talking about is invalid. Women are awesome.
  5. Eskimo, that girl is obviously trouble, so leave her alone. I agree with Polly and Matt - girls are great if you can find the right ones.

  6. temp5897

    temp5897 Guest

    I don't mean this as a knock but as soon as I read "13 months and 9 days" I knew you were a teenager and probably not one nearing the 20's. I think you sort of answered your own post with your last sentence there.

    Just above all remember you are young and stuff like this will happen and try not to let it get you down...
  7. Trevorus


    Oct 18, 2002
    Urbana, IL
    that crap kinda sucks. Don't hang around with people like that and don't invest yourself so much in highschool relationships. Everone in high-school get so much into their relationships that when someone figures out that they don't like the other person anymore, it's off to someone else. So don't give yourself so much to these piddly relationships, and you'll be fine.
  8. Just bust out the baby powder man, just bust out the baby powder...
  9. Petebass


    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    Read it - she's got issues this one........ scary part is that girls like this never really grow out of it.

    Go find a girl who treats you better.
  10. LiquidMidnight


    Dec 25, 2000
    I never bought the whole "Let's take a break but we'll get back together when the time is right" type of thing. I mean, I'm sure that there have been people who's done that and actually got back together more in love than ever, but I've always had bad luck with those types of things and just except them as break ups.
  11. Curvage and penile deficiency are both a definite plus, but the extreme stupidity that is shockingly common among women, such as the one described in the original post or any of the women from The Bachelor, is not. Being stupid yourself you may not have noticed, but the average woman might just be almost as dumb as the average guy. Yeah, scary.
  12. Nick man

    Nick man

    Apr 7, 2002
    Tampa Bay
    I cuddle with all my friends. The fact that you feel comfortable is just a sign that you care about each other and feel good that way. It doesnt have to be more.

    When you take a break you have to expect that it will be a real break. Dont say you are ready for one and then complain when she see's other guys. It doenst make sense.

    Wether or not his tounge was in her mouth doenst make a difference. She kissed him.

    My guess is that she cares about you, but only as a friend. I dont think she has serious physical or BF/GF relationship feelings towards you either that, or maybe she just needs time to realize she does.

    Give her space and enjoy your life, but dont stop being her friend.

  13. Prime Mover

    Prime Mover

    Feb 16, 2003
    TN, USA
    Whenever anyone says..."lets take a break..." It really means, "I want a clean break, but I don't want to hurt anymore than I already have..."

  14. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses, Hipshot products
    sounds like she's she's confused, sounds like you know where you're at. coming to your concert with that guy was thoughtless, mean, childish and not something that i think a real friend would do.

    sad to say, but if you keep hanging around - and this stuff bothers you, she's going to make your life a living hell. she'll keep pulling similar stuff until you've had enough. i know from lots and lots of experience. save yourself now and walk.

    a coupla other things.........

    walking now might be one of the hardest things you can do, but the rewards in self esteem will be immeasurable. it will help you to know you can respect yourself and will make it a lot easier to make wise relationship decisions in the future. i got kicked around by girls for a long time until one day i realized it was happening, again, with someone i was head over heels with. I gathered every bit of strenght i had and walked away. i was a completely different man from that day on.

    guys that hang around girls like that learn to believe that that's the way women just are, then continue to find "those" women. look for the truly beautiful women out there, there are tons of them.

    lastly, and then I'll get off my pulpit - when I was 17 yrs old I knew no pain greater than the pain of being dumped by the girl I "loved". i honestly didn't think i could go on, that i'd ever feel that way about anyone again, that i'd ever meet anyone i loved so much. many years later i know that had I married her my life today would be a complete and total misery. we are completely different people, but i didn't see that then. i wouldn't even THINK of dating her at this point in time. we're from different worlds alltogether. on top of that she's all fat and washed up now and i still look pretty cool :) . what's my point? at 17 i though i had arrived and thought I knew myself pretty well. the 15 yrs that followed was when i did 90% of the growth and discovery in my life (and had the most fun). teenage yrs can be rough, but trust me, trust me, trust me........ the best of things lie ahead of you. make good choices.
  15. Tsal


    Jan 28, 2000
    Finland, EU
    Forget her. It's gone.
  16. Woodchuck


    Apr 21, 2000
    Atlanta / Macon (sigh)
    Gallien Krueger for the last 12 years!
    Eskimo: Take it from a 27 year old :p It doesn't get any better! I think you should let it go, especially conversations about "that guy". However, and you may not wanna hear this, but once he "breaches security" ;) , she'll come back to you to "talk". Don't get caught up, because if you take her back, you're going to have to hear the details of the night he added another notch to the ol' headboard. Move on. However when she does come to you, DO NOT hesitate to say :"I told you so!"
  17. moley


    Sep 5, 2002
    Hampshire, UK
    For me, It was the biology class bit right after that that was the *real* giveaway :D

    Though, with one glance at the post itself, I had my suspicions.

  18. Pretty much summed up what I was thinking and the last 15 years of my life too! Ironically about 17 I got dumped by the (at that point) 'love of my life'.

    Took a while to get over it but onwards and upwards! Life got better, I moved on, got married, nice house, got a great kid, now getting divorced......oh really don't want advice from me!

    Anyway point is - move on (like I have.....once again!). Don't dwell on the past, learn from it, and plan tomorrow better!
  19. yoshi


    Jul 12, 2002
    England, London
    That's a right bummer :'o(

    Just try to move on, you can't really expect her to stick with you if it's all faded to 'nothing' (sorry to put it bluntly). Plus, if that guys as much of an ar*ewipe as you put through she'll soon forget him. Maybe it's just somekind of image crisis on her behalf (Thinking back to my school years, it happens all the time) - just don't blame yourself.

    PS. it's my black labs' 6th birthday this friday (your prom night).
  20. ditto