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Requirements for a jazz band

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Growler, Dec 13, 2011.

  1. Growler


    Sep 26, 2004
    So I"m thinking of hiring a jazz band to play during my wedding and I recall on this board a while ago people posting ridiculous band requirements. Usually coming from craigslist or something similar. One of the candidates is my former bass instructor and I thought it would be funny to provide him with a list of similar humorous requirements.

    Does anybody have a list of these that would pertain to jazz? He is the bassist...
  2. Bredian


    Apr 22, 2011
  3. justBrian


    Apr 19, 2002
    Kansas City, MO
    I love Don Ellis--his Live At Monterey is amazing. Especially when you hear him count off 33 222 1 222. The subdivision is all about feel. Simply brilliant!!
  4. Since this is in the humor forum and all...a requirement for a Jazz band is that the bassist play a Jazz bass :p
  5. fraublugher


    Nov 19, 2004
    ottawa, ontario, canada
    music school retailer
    A degree in marriage counselling

    A willingness to change the set-list [every song]

    A white upright

    A white electric
  6. BassChuck

    BassChuck Supporting Member

    Nov 15, 2005
    All songs must be at least 10 mnutes in length.
    Everyone must solo on every tune.
    All songs from Real Book, 6th Edition.
    No one in the audience is allowed to know the name of the song before its played, or recognize it while it is being played.
    Musicans may face the audience only if they feel like it.
    No requests.
    No musician can be found during the band breaks.
  7. pklima

    pklima Commercial User

    May 2, 2003
    Kraków, Polska
    Karoryfer Samples
    Especially important when playing in bathrooms.
  8. Bredian


    Apr 22, 2011
  9. Vakmere


    Sep 6, 2007
    Hire a DJ spinning only jazz tunes
  10. Bochafish


    Jul 26, 2008
    Chicago, IL
    How many people in the band? Need one to screw in the light bulb, while the rest stand around and talk about how they would have done it better.
  11. Ahhh need to know how to play jazz songs?
  12. fraublugher


    Nov 19, 2004
    ottawa, ontario, canada
    music school retailer
    And if the guy in the next stall taps his foot thusly.....
    You get paid extra
  13. Throckmorten


    Aug 3, 2006
    Central NY
    Experinece playing a solo on a remote island, notably after an extended drum solo.
    The ability to smile after hearing the same joke 500 times.
  14. thudfromafar


    Dec 12, 2007
    In otherwords be just like 9 out of 10 jazz combos. :D:D

    (in case someone didnt get the joke...)

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