**Disclaimer: This is going to be a long read** PART I: The PAIN. I am a patient man. I am an honest man. I am a man who has tried to do most things right in his life. So, how is it that I get handed such a raw deal as this? Let me explain.... I live in a (relatively) small town, on a quiet street, at the end of a cul de sac, up on a hill...nothing much happens here. I used to work at home. The highlight of the day was hearing the only traffic up my street, daily visits from UPS or FedEx, or some wayward sap who took a wrong turn. In each instance the lure of excitement was coming down my road, would it be a delivery to me? To my neighbor? What's coming? The joy, the anticipation....everyone knows who is getting what....like I said, nothing much goes on here. For those who are unitiated. I ordered my Marchlewski at the end of May 2004. Work on it began in June 2004...I have waited, patiently for the day to arrive where the parcel delivery driver would bring my dreams in a box, neatly wrapped, and waiting for me to explore the low notes deep in my soul. Today was that day. It began like any other day, except for the fact, that, anticipating it's arrival, I took the day off to be here for said post man, to greet him with a warm 'Merry Christmas' and glad tidings of multi-stringed glory, wrapped in wood and electronics. So, how is it that this very week, 2 of my close neighbors decided to start home renovation projects (one is getting a pool, the other a whole new 2 story addition)? Nothing happens on my street. Yet today, I am filled with sounds of dump trucks, contractors, Forklifts, Pallet trucks, and every other god forsaken trade within a 100 mile radius. With each rev of any engine I spring from what I'm doing and rush to the front door! After hours of this absurd behavior, I am close to passing out...my blood pressure is probably sky high, my legs burning, and getting dizzier with each leap to the door. The package is supposed to be here by 10:30. It's 10:32, it's not here. What in the world did I do to deserve such anguish, such pain? I am beside myself. My wife is in and out taking kids around town, school parties and such, as I lay catatonic, only to be roused by the next insufferable tradesmen hell bend on mocking my very existence with each rev of his work truck. Sons a B*&%$es!!! 11:00 am, no bass. I fear all is lost, I am now going to have to be put to sleep. My package is missing, and thus, my soul. Oh the agony! 11:30....nothing, only the constant pull of the forces of evil aligning against me, and the mocking of engines as they pass....I feel I'm slipping into the abyss...a no mans land of purgatory.... Just as I am beginning to flatline...I am jolted to reality. Some crazed maniac is trying to back up my ski slope driveway and skidding his wheels..SUCKER!!! "Ha ha" I laugh, as I calmy saunter to the window to see the poor sod stuck.. "GOOD LORD!" I gasp...It's the DHL MAN!! He has given up and parked his truck. Opens the back and sifts through the mismanaged pile of meaningless rabble, retrieving a long slender box from the bowels of his Econoline van! I spring to life, my savior!!! With a hearty hello, he then explained that he's sorry he's late, something about plane delays...something about dense fog...yeah yeah dude, give me the box! I rush inside.