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Shot your self in the foot with your ego

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by 2behead, Feb 23, 2014.

  1. 2behead


    Mar 8, 2011
    I have to kick a member of the band out today. Sucks. He's a nice guy, great drummer, wrights amazing lyrics driven....... Sounds perfect right? Well he is but........ His ego is HUGE. It's been becoming more and more of a issue over the last year and a half. The group was started about 13 years ago. He was the original drummer. The guitarist and I had been in a band previously as had the guitarist and drummer. He played for about a year and a half and the drummers ego drove him to quite. He was "way to pro to play with us."
    The guitarist and I decided at that point that the band was us. Solely bassed on the aditude that it takes 2 constants to have a band have the same vibe. We found a second drummer with out missing a beat. We had our pick of a few solid players. Ended up playing for several years with this second drummer and good friend. Put some records out. Standard stuff. Guitarist ended up moving several states away and we called it quits. No hard feelings. Ended on great terms.
    Fast forward several years and the first drummer and guitarist are living about 3 hours away from each other. They get together and start playing together here and there. I get a phone call asking if I'd like to start the band back up. Just recording for the time. Nothing serious. Just fun. No pressure. Great. Sounds like a blast. We record a new record, a small lable wants release a few recordings old and new. Drummer is pissed because he isn't on the older songs. Compleatly refuses to acknowledge the older stuff at all. He Starts talking to the guitarist about replacing me. The guitarist just flat out said NO. But the drummers ego hears" not now but he's on probation" so now a local radio station just played us on the radio. I had given then quite a few different things to chose from. I suggested a few songs. One of wich I did not play on. We had a guest spot on the song. I had written this song so it was fun to hear a different take on it. The station aired a older recording. Not one that I had suggested. The drummer flipped out. Called me unprofessional, and stupid. Said I was only still in the band because of his graciousness and respect. He was all pro and was ok with me being in the bad for the moment. Then he started bad mouthing this DJ on face book. I addressed it with him privately and had him erace the posts. He started back in with the whole those recordings don't matter bit. And hinted about removing me agian.
    I called the guitarist. He confirmed that he was not upset with me at all, and that the band was infact the two of us. Drummer was being delusional. So today I have to call the drummer up and try to tactfully give him the boot. Suck......... My plan is to try to limit it to the fact that we just want different things out of the band.
    Any suggestions on how to break the news?
  2. Just give it to him straight, in person. I wouldn't worry too much about his feelings, simply because he sounds like he's an a-hole—and no matter what you say, or how you say it, he's going to react badly.

    Move on, and chalk it up to experience. Don't look back. And good luck to you in the future.
  3. Kmonk


    Oct 18, 2012
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan Strings, Nordstrand Pickups, Korg Keyboards
    Just tell him that you and the guitarist have decided to go in another direction which includes making changes in the band and let him go.
  4. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    When people screw with me, I don't do "tactful."

    I do "truthful."
  5. +1. Yep
  6. 2behead


    Mar 8, 2011
    Oh he's gone. Guitarist and I made up our minds and have let it settle for almost a week. I am just not looking forward to it at all. We are in different states so it has to be over the phone. My plane is to leave as much out as I can unless pressed. I have plenty of ligetamit reasons.
  7. GlennW


    Sep 6, 2006
    I hear footsteps in the distance.

    The Grammar Nazis are coming.
  8. 2behead


    Mar 8, 2011
    Hahahaha who cares. That's their ego trip. Screw em.
  9. GlennW


    Sep 6, 2006
    Hey man, you forgot an apostrophe.
  10. sparkyfender2


    Nov 25, 2013
    Bad mouthed a DJ on Facebook?

    More, please.............
  11. 2behead


    Mar 8, 2011
    He was saying she is "unprofessional" and her show sucks. She has horrible taste in music. I thought the last part was funny because she wanted to play our record. Throughout this whole ordeal he has used the word pro or professional over and over. But then talked trash about a person that is doing us a huge favor giving us airplay.
  12. Stewie26

    Stewie26 Supporting Member

    You would hope that trash talk does not get back to her the DJ.
  13. pipFunk


    Feb 1, 2005
    And, a question mark. :D

    Anyway, those footsteps you hear are the Spelling Police. ;)

    Shortly to be joined by the Bureau of Investigation for the Overuse of Smileys. :bag:
  14. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN

    Fortunately, it's possible to do both.
  15. GlennW


    Sep 6, 2006

    Smileys Verboten!
  16. MegaSwing

    MegaSwing Your Obedient Bassist® Gold Supporting Member

    Nov 26, 2002
    Baltimore, MD USA
    Please report back. Can't hardly wait.
  17. Mystic Michael

    Mystic Michael Hip No Ties

    Apr 1, 2004
    New York, NY
    Based on what you've shared thus far, he doesn't sound all that nice... :eyebrow:

    Well, the good news here is that there is no "right" or "wrong" way to do this. Because no matter what kind of explanation you offer, he's not going to accept it.

    So why not go easy on yourself? Just tell him something like, "(guitarist) and I feel that since you're apparently not happy with us, we'd like to give you the opportunity to find other players who are at your level and standard. And we'll have to do the same. Good luck." Then get off the phone. :eyebrow:

    If he tries to give you a bunch of crap, tell him: "The decision is final. Sorry it didn't work out. Gotta go now. Bye." Then get off the phone.

    Whatever you tell him, make it very brief, be cool & "professional", don't get emotional - and don't give him an opportunity to start an argument: Get on the line, speak your piece, then get off the line. Boom! Done.

  18. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    If this guy has any access to your facebook page or website, I'd remove it before u fire him.
  19. MegaSwing

    MegaSwing Your Obedient Bassist® Gold Supporting Member

    Nov 26, 2002
    Baltimore, MD USA
    Probably a good idear.
  20. Fluktbas


    Jul 19, 2013
    Have you seen Roger Stirling fire Burt Peterson in Mad Men, season 6?