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Should I stay or should I go?

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by Tim Cole, Jan 26, 2003.

  1. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Last spring, I decided to get back into music after a 2+ year break to pursue other interests. The big thing that made me decide to get back into the game, was this band.....I thought they were awesome, and jumped at the chance to join up with them. 9 months, and a few grand on gear later, I am at a point where I have had just about enough. I still love the gigging, the material we do and what not, but am running into the same kind of BS that it seems every band goes through.

    First off, our singer has no license, and since his town is only 7-8 miles from where I live, I pick him up to go to practice. It gets old, but I normally don't mind it too bad.

    A big issue I have is, every single gig we do we have been totally unprepared for. We decide on a list of songs to learn, and I am always the only one that learns every song on the list. We're lucky if we can piece 2 or 3 of them together from a list of 10 or so.

    It's been 2 months since our last gig, and we haven't learned a single new song since then, when we have been planning on learning 10-15. Our next gig is this coming weekend, and we had a practice scheduled for last night, to try to get as many new tunes in shape as we can. One of our guitar players said earlier in the day that he wasn't going to be able to make it, since he got called into work. I give him the benefit of the doubt on this, but a couple of the other guys doubted it.

    We had planned on practice as usual, then on Tuesday play catch up with the absent guitarist. I got to the singers house to do my taxi duty as usual, and he's not there. His wife told me he had gone out with some of his friends, and was supposed to be back by then. I went ahead and headed to practice, to find he never did show up, or bother to get ahold of anybody. This is the 3rd or 4th time I have gone to get him, and him not be there, or let me know ahead of time he wasn't going.

    So any new material we were going to learn is now in the can. The jerk singer also has the whole world on block on AIM, and doesn't seem to bother to reply to emails. I find this pretty rude.

    I think my decision has already been made....I am going to tell the guys I am done this Tuesday at practice, and pursue other bands that have some dedication, and common courtesy to the other guys. I really hate to do this since I love the bands music, but I think in the long run it is obviously the smart move. I just hate to start from scratch!

    Good bands are hard to find, but is it all worth it??

    Someone please give me a reason why I should see this deal out???
  2. vegaas


    Nov 6, 2001
    You shouldnt. Get it over quickly, the longer you wait the longer it will be before you have your new band together.
    I am in a similar predictament. We are having a band meeting tonight, the guitar player and I are thinking of breaking off and starting a new band. We will wait to see what transpires tonight.
    I know where you are coming from, because the thought of starting over again is very frustrating.
    Oh well, we need to think of the long term satisfaction instead of the short term frustration.
  3. Perhaps you could phase yourself out. Don't break off from the band outright but start band hunting in your spare time. Quit the band officially when you have confirmed a placement in another band. At least you'll stay somewhat practiced until then.
  4. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Thanks for the reply guys. Not positive what to do as of yet, but am pretty convinced this is going to be a recurring thing. They are going to have to show me some commitment real quick if they expect me to stick around. It's just really hard to find a GOOD band around here!
  5. jcadmus


    Apr 2, 2000
    Good bands ARE hard to find.

    By your description, this isn't a good band.

    You know what you have to do.
  6. Oooooooh yes. I'm sure you'll have experienced the buzz that comes from playing with a really good band.
    There's no chemicals that can match it.

    I can't.

    You joined up because you really respected them, you've lost that reason.
    Are you still good friends? Were you good friends in the first place?

    Sounds like you've already made your mind up though.
  7. Dave Castelo

    Dave Castelo

    Apr 19, 2000
    this one goes to Band Management-performance

  8. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole Supporting Member

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    Man, I never get these categories right, I thought I had it in the right place.

    Good points guys

    IMO this is a great band, awesome musicianship, great original material, and everyone in the band is among the best musicians in the area. None of that is the problem. It's the laziness, procrastination, and total disrespect I cannot stand any longer. I wish it didn't have to be this way, but I have been through it 3-4 times since I joined like 8 months ago.

    I was only friends with one of the guys when I joined, and remain friends with him. I also made 3 new ones, I plan to keep that way. The singer on the other hand....aint got too much use for his work eithics.

    We will see what happens....I got the ball rolling in a couple places already.

    MAN, it is GREAT being a bass player!
  9. Damn straight. :cool:
  10. secretdonkey


    Oct 9, 2002
    Austin, TX
    I agree with granny ;) - think about finding a new project before leaving this one.

    Good bands are hard to find, as you say, so it may take a little while to find a worthy project, and it may be better to put up with BS than to have no band at all, at least for the short run. A band like this shouldn't have any problems with you working in multiple projects...

    You'll then have options and possibly a subtle kind of leverage if the slacker band is afraid of losing you.

    Good luck, whatever you do. Just don't throw in the towel on music again - you'll only have to invest in a new rig all over again in a couple of years once you realize you can't live without playing ;) :)
  11. SeeSharp


    Sep 26, 2002
    If the singer is the main problem, then fire him! Tell the rest of the band why you think you should do that. Or just give the singer some warnings like "we need you at all the practices or else" And ask him if he is serious about being in this band and if not, he should leave. ~later~
    P.S. He's married and doesn't have a licence? How old is he?