Singer wears T-shirt insulting me at a gig

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by NickInMesa, Feb 28, 2010.


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  1. I have said several times I am not happy with the drama in my current band, that there is too much arguing and that people need to be a little bit more respectful, especially towards me.

    Last night not only did the guitarist start drama again and got all upset and pissed over something I said, which was not meant to be mean, he took it the wrong way and acted like a 10 year-old and did not want to hear what I had to said -about the fact that the audience did not like the mix mix, dammit.

    The drummer then refused to listen and gave me a cold shoulder when I asked him if he understood what I was trying to say about the mix and that the guitarist is over-reacting.

    On top of that the singer had a stupid t-shirt that read "I'm with stupid" with an arrow to his left. Yes, I was on the left

    In attendance were my wife, my kids, my mother-in-law, my step-son and 4 nephews.

    Our set list is the same exact set list as last week, plus 4 songs, minus 3 others. We had to hire a guy to come and play guitar between sets. They're not adding songs fast enough. I keep telling them that it is possible to add 5 songs a week, they don't want to hear it, their excuse is that it's easy for me because I play an easy instrument.

    The singer can barely sing, the guitarist is ok, but think he's Slash and the drummer, who is otherwise the nicest dude, is very sloppy.

    I am not the best bassist, but I progress by challenging myself a lot, forcing myself to learn songs and doing a lot of exercises, up to 2 hours a day.

    Time to move?

    OP edit: Sorry, David, I will be careful next time. So, no, I was not called "stupid", but basically my sexual preference was questioned in a rude manner and the shirt was not kid friendly at all.
     
  2. Time to move.
     
  3. Ewo

    Ewo a/k/a Steve Cooper Supporting Member

    Apr 2, 2008
    Huntington WV
    I wouldn't hang around, after the T-shirt stunt.
     
  4. Passinwind

    Passinwind I know nothing. Commercial User

    Dec 3, 2003
    Columbia River Gorge, WA.
    Owner/Designer &Toaster Tech Passinwind Electronics
    Be sure to superglue the singer's mute button in the "on" position on your way out the door. ;)
     
  5. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Retired Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    I wouldn't have played the gig with someone wearing that T-shirt regardless of the arrow's direction. The choice would have been to lose the shirt or play without bass. Then I'd quit the band right after the gig, either way.
     
  6. It might be meaner to glue it in the 'off' position.
     
  7. H2ODog

    H2ODog

    Sep 30, 2003
    Roseville, CA
    Offer to do his laundry and change the arrow on the T-shirt to point to his head, and then give it back to him at the next gig, then quit!
     
  8. snyderz

    snyderz

    Aug 20, 2000
    AZ mountains
    Why are you even asking? Man up and leave.
     
  9. Mr. Mig

    Mr. Mig

    Sep 7, 2008
    If you stay and continue to let them abuse you then maybe you like the drama. I am not saying this to be mean, but other than that, I don't see a reason for you to stick around.
     
  10. Tylerrr51

    Tylerrr51

    Nov 28, 2009
    Milford, CT
    They seem immature from the way your putting it and they dont seem too focused about it. time to move
     
  11. Goatee220

    Goatee220 Bassist/Photographer/Goalie Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2009
    Spring City, PA
    Sounds like you're the only professional in the band. I'd bail.
     
  12. Darkstrike

    Darkstrike Return Of The King!

    Sep 14, 2007
    Exit stage left... and fast.
     
  13. How about that one: we got from a drop D song to Plush. Plush is a super cool song to play on bass, like pretty much every STP.

    Guitarist sounds like crap right away. Yes, he forgot to tune back to standard. I personally write the tuning next to each song, that way I don't screw up.

    Anyway, right in the middle of the song, no guitar. Just me and the drummer, while the singer is singing fake lyrics mocking the guitarist retuning his guitar with a floor tuner. I actually enjoyed this part because people could hear me and since I nail the song, it made me look good.

    The other stupid thing is we had to hire another dude to play guitar between our sets and people liked him better. No, you can't do a 4-hour bar gig with 21 songs. And we scratched one because the singer decided he could not sing it.

    And towards the end, we had to insist to play a song which the guitarist decided was too hard for him. The song? Wild Flower, by The Cult. And weird enough, the guitarist absolutely nailed the solo.

    I know, frustration is a bitch, but this is supposed to be my hobby, not more drama in my life :)
     
  14. Jefenator

    Jefenator Supporting Member

    Aug 22, 2008
    Oregon
    Apparently the singer loves looking for a new bass player. :eyebrow:

    That seems a little odd because all the bands I've ever known do NOT love that. :smug:
     
  15. Passinwind

    Passinwind I know nothing. Commercial User

    Dec 3, 2003
    Columbia River Gorge, WA.
    Owner/Designer &Toaster Tech Passinwind Electronics
    On my boards mute on = it's muted.

    But given Nick's recent thread in Live Sound, the other way works too. :cool:

    And no, I don't actually advocate messing with anyone else's gear, regardless of how satisfying it might be.
     
  16. archer121

    archer121

    Apr 12, 2009
    Doesn't seem to be much hope for the band if this is how it's going to be. Time to bail.
     
  17. Jaguar

    Jaguar

    Nov 19, 2006
    USA
    ...Don`t be soft,swing your Axe like an Axe ,and cut that sphinkter down.What a douchebag.
     
  18. That's where I was going. Let the jerk hang himself.

    Nor do I. Though it is fun to imagine ;)
     
  19. dan stanton

    dan stanton

    Feb 8, 2010
    Hook up with the other guitarist.
     
  20. pierreganseman

    pierreganseman

    Aug 23, 2008
    Brussels
    Time to move indeed. Music should never be a pain in the *******. Unless it's really well paid... :)
     
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