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slightly discriminating joke: what do you call a guy that hangs around with musicians

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by anonymous278347457, Jun 20, 2005.


  1. anonymous278347457

    anonymous278347457 Guest

    Feb 12, 2005
    a drummer!

    i know this isnt true at all, drums give the song rhythm and stuff.....but i still think its a pretty funny joke.

    and to let you know that i dont just make jokes about drummers:

    what do you call a bass player without a wife?



    homeless....

    im a bass player and even though this is not true i still think its kinda funny :)
     
  2. NJL

    NJL

    Apr 12, 2002
    San Antonio
    how do you get a comedian off your porch?

    pay em' for the pizza

    ----

    how do trumpet players introduce themselves?

    "hi, my name is john and i'm better than you"

    -----

    what type of birth control do clarinet players prefer?

    their personality

    -----
     
  3. anonymous278347457

    anonymous278347457 Guest

    Feb 12, 2005
    maybe i should change the thread name to jokes that make fun of musicians!
     
  4. BWB

    BWB

    Aug 30, 2000
    Knoxville TN
    How can you tell when the stage is level at a bluegrass gig?

    When drool comes out both sides of the banjo player's mouth.
     
  5. why is a pizza better than a keyboard player??


    pizza feeds a family of four..... :ninja:
     
  6. what is the differance between a couch and a guitar player

    a couch can support a whole family
     
  7. jongor

    jongor Supporting Member

    Jan 11, 2003
    Maine
    How can you tell if there's a drummer knocking at your door?

    ..the knocking speeds up...... ;)
     
  8. i love the "Russian Dragon" drummers too... special breed i tell ya...
     
  9. Chiba

    Chiba

    Mar 11, 2005
    What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

    A viola burns longer.

    --chiba
     
  10. gretschman

    gretschman

    Nov 22, 2004
    Lewisville, TX
    Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?

    It took two hours to get the bass player out.


    How many guitarists does it take to play "Pride and Joy?"

    Apparently, every single one of them.
     
  11. kansas666

    kansas666

    Sep 20, 2004
    What's the definition of perfect pitch?

    It's when you throw the accordian in the dumpster and it lands on the banjo.
     
  12. Matt Till

    Matt Till

    Jun 1, 2002
    Edinboro, PA

    This is the only one I haven't heard, and it's freakin' hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D
     
  13. slickhare

    slickhare

    Feb 2, 2005
    how many drummer's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    *******************************************
    none, they invented a machine for that too :eek:
     
  14. ROFLMAO, but seriously .... :smug: where is the light bulb machine? :p i got a few to change
     
  15. ylano

    ylano

    Jun 18, 2005
    ... and he never knows when to come in
     
  16. slickhare

    slickhare

    Feb 2, 2005
    a drummer one day decides to play a real instrument so he goes to a music store and picks out two instruments to learn, upon going to the counter to pay, the cashier informed him: "i'm sorry. you can keep the fire extinguisher but the radiator has to stay"
     
  17. How do you know when a harmonica player is at your door?

    He doesn't have the key, but he comes in whenever he wants.
     
  18. EXCELLENT!
     
  19. HaVIC5

    HaVIC5

    Aug 22, 2003
    Brooklyn, NYC
    How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    None, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand.

    How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Two, one to do it, and the other to say how Jaco could have done it better.
     
  20. travatron4000

    travatron4000

    Dec 27, 2000
    Chicago, IL
    How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    1 - 5 - 1 - 5
    (I - V - I - V)