Smart A** replies to rhetorical questions

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by kirbywrx, Dec 17, 2003.

  1. kirbywrx

    kirbywrx formerly James Hetfield

    Jul 27, 2000
    Melbourne, Australia.
    i asked my dad the other day how long he will be on the computer, to which he replied 'how longs a piece of string'. now, me being me, i couldnt let him win, so i said 'twice the distance from the middle' i heard a freind of mine say something witty when someone asked him 'what came first, the chicken or the egg'

    anyway do any of you guys have anything witty when someone tries to outsmart you with a rhetorical question?
  2. flatwounds


    Apr 22, 2003
    Sydney, Oz
    Okay, I know that this is not really what you are after - and that you will probably never be able to use it - but I'm not all that witty.
    In an episode of The Simpsons when Homer's long lost mother comes to visit, she asks the kids whether or not they have followed their religious upbringing, to which Bart replies,"As long as there are no follow-up questions - yes."
  3. Against Will

    Against Will Supporting Member

    Dec 10, 2003
    Big Sound Central
    In similar fashion; as Bart so eloquently states, the sound of one hand clapping is:
  4. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    ok...who else just tried this to see if it really sounds like that? :D

  5. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Terrific Twister

    Apr 12, 2001
    Lacey, WA
    hold on....i forgot to answer the question!

    does the "does a bear crap in the woods?" still work for most people? i use that one when people ask me obvious "yes" questions.

  6. Wrong Robot

    Wrong Robot Guest

    Apr 8, 2002

    hehehehe, well not till you mentioned it.

    this isn't particularly THAT smart ass, but in response to which came first the chicken of the egg?

    primordial goop!

  7. JMX

    JMX Vorsprung durch Technik

    Sep 4, 2000
    Cologne, Germany

    My favorite answer to something like that is: "Man hat schon Pferde kotzen (ge)sehen". ("Horses have been seen to puke" or something like that.)

    Somehow this one always makes me grin :D
  8. Petebass


    Dec 22, 2002
    QLD Australia
    Well it wasn't a rhetorical question, but one of the girls at work got me a beauty yesterday. We found ourselves making a coffee at the same time. When the kettled had boiled, I started pouring water into her mug for her and said "Say When?". She winked, flicked her hair back and replied "well how about right after I finish this drink?" :)
  9. Slot


    Oct 17, 2003
    Sydney - The Shire
    haha .....i love it

  10. :D
    he shoots...

    he scores!!!
  11. temp5897

    temp5897 Guest

    What was it?
  12. I remember one day at work i hit my finger with my hammer, obviously i let a shout of pain out swearing quite colourfully i might add.
    Someone i work with asked.."Did you just hit your finger with your hammer?"
    I replied.."Yes, its my macho way of trimming my nails"
  13. jive1

    jive1 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    I just flip em the bird. A picture is worth a thousand words.
  14. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    Here's how it all went down...

    The Egg and the Chicken are in bed relaxing after having s%x. The Egg says to the Chicken; "I guess we've finally answered that question".
  15. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    In response to someone sleeping: Q: "Are you asleep?"
    A: "No, I'm checking my eyelids for holes".
  16. canopener


    Sep 15, 2003
    Isle of Lucy
    Back when MAD magazine used to be funny, there used to be a regular "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions" bit. But I have no examples, all my old copies of MAD are at the house...