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so i got kicked out of my band today...

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by desdinovabass, Nov 19, 2005.


  1. ::RANT ON::

    so i'm without a band as of today, apparently i was the cause of all the arguments that the band ever had, when the only time's i've said anything that caused an argmument were in situations where when we were being rushed to do something and we weren't staying on task or having to leave after such an argument because i like getting more than 2 hours of sleep before work the next day. or in situations where major decisions (financial and otherwise) were made without me even being told about it until after the fact, while other members of the band attack every word that came out of eachother's mouths, don't stop playing long enough for anyone to finish a sentence, and can't every talk about a problem that one person may have with someone but would rather talk about then behind their backs

    but that's not why i'm bothered by this, it's the fact that they couldn't tell me themselves, a freind of mine found out and she called me and told me about it after i said something about how we haven't practiced in a few weeks and have a show next weekend and that i had to call to find out what was going on, i thought i deserved the decency to be told about something like this by the band as opposed to someone who barely talks to us. but i shouldn't have espected that because this band has had a revolving door of members and none of them were told in a respectable manner

    ::RANT OFF::

    the way i see it is if ithat's how things need to be resolved with every time there is a conflict then i am better off without this band, and i'm positive that something new will come along based on the reputaion i've built with other musicians in the last few years
     
  2. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    That list of the "only times I've said anything" was long enough to make your post somewhat comical. It's pretty evident that the other band members really didn't like to engage you in conversation, based on their tendency to not tell you about major decisions, particularly that one about you not being in the band anymore.

    No sir, I'd say look inward for the root of the problem. My guess is that you're pretty outspoken, to put it euphemistically.
     
  3. WalterBush

    WalterBush

    Feb 27, 2005
    Yuma, Az
    Wow, I thought I could write a good run-on sentence. Do you breathe when you talk? :)
     
  4. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Actually it's not a run-on sentence. Do you have trouble tracking? I did write a run-on in some other thread the other day, but it was on purpose.
     
  5. WalterBush

    WalterBush

    Feb 27, 2005
    Yuma, Az

    I was referring to this, actually. I don't think I've ever read a Munjibunga post longer than 5 concise, well thought-out sentences, and most are shorter. Sorry for the mix-up.
     
  6. I kinda know the feeling, was playing with a really really good band, well, more trying out, but it wasnt tight enough, so, im no longer with them . . . this happened earlier in the year . . . however, just found out yesterday they are supporting my favourite band :'(

    You should be able to get in another band easily enough tho :)
     
  7. Lowtonejoe

    Lowtonejoe Supporting Member

    Jul 3, 2004
    Richland, WA
    Munj,

    why would being outspoken cause a problem? I went through a similar situation at the beginning of the year so I am very interested in what you said and want to hear a bit more about it.

    :D

    Joe.
     
  8. +1! I wish I had his gift for getting to the point quickly, accurately, with devastating wit. I aspire to be like Munji. Maybe without the overbite though. :D Cool shades!

    Randy
     
  9. Being outspoken isn't a problem. You want everyone to be on the same page as much as possible to minimize friction. And to do that it helps if everyone mentions what page THEY are on.

    The problem comes when you have to be outspoken ALL the time. Say they're more interested in partying than practicing, and you want to take it more seriously. There will be constant arguing, aggravation and tension because you're always nagging on them, if you're outspoken. Or you'll always be tense and aggravated if you're not outspoken and try to pretend it doesn't bother you.

    If everyone wants the same things out of it, there's little tension or hassle. Being outspoken exposes the differences in your and their agenda. If found out soon enough, you can split while you are still friends before you piss each other off to the point its a hostile ugly breakup.

    Outspoken is good. Having to be outspoken all the time isn't so much bad in and of itself, its a symptom of an underlying problem festering.

    See, I should have waited for Munji. He could have explained it much faster than me... :(

    Randy
     
  10. Lowtonejoe

    Lowtonejoe Supporting Member

    Jul 3, 2004
    Richland, WA
    Randy,

    although I agree with what you said I got the impression from Munji that outspokenness could possibly be a BAD thing depending on the situation.

    I'm real curious to hear what he has to say on it.

    So, how 'bout it Munj?

    :D

    Joe.
     
  11. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    Whew! You almost hurt my feelings. I'll be OK now.
     
  12. sorry bout that i could have made it a little more concise, wheni wrote this i was a bit upset about the situation. The situations where i wasn't told about things were months ago, things having to do with spending the money that we earned gigging and such.

    and to clarify i don't think i was nagging them constantly at practice, the only times that i can think of where i did get bent out of shape about things were when we were in this recurring situation: not haveing practice for weeks, had a show the next day, and we couldn't run through 30-45 min set when we had spent 3 hours at practice.

    I'm usually not very outspoken at all, in reality i'm fairly quiet.

    i apologize for that, i was thinking faster than i was typing ;)
     
  13. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    It has to do with all that testosterone coursing through the vessels of the 19-year-olds. My experience has been that younger folks tend to be more vocal and reactionary in stressful situations. Two things happen when you get older:

    1. Experience makes it easier to discern times when outspokenness leads to tribulation and non-productive social intercourse and;

    2. There's less testosterone and energy to waste on things like arguing with bandmates.

    As an old fart, I appreciate playing with people who know when to let it slide. I play music to escape the day-to-day hassles of lawsuits, collections and interpersonal issues between employees at work. I don't tolerate excessive drama in bands. If it's my band, the perp has to split. If it's somebody else's band, I'm not going to stick around.
     
  14. Lowtonejoe

    Lowtonejoe Supporting Member

    Jul 3, 2004
    Richland, WA
    Ah, there you go then.

    Good stuff.

    Thanks Munj.

    :D

    Joe.
     
  15. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    OK, then. Perhaps I'm headed down the wrong track. Nonetheless, it doesn't sound like this band is what you're looking for. I'm with the others now ... you'll find something better.

    PS But if I was right, then a little introspection never hurts. And get an estrogen shot. No, wait, that could make things even worse.
     
  16. yeah you're right, there probably is something that i'm not seeing. If i find out what that is i'll work on it and make sure i'm not in this position again, unless it's by my choice

    I totally hear you on the testosterone thing, we 19 year-olds need to chill out sometimes :bassist:
     

  17. "Just shut up and play". Works every time.
     
  18. start your own band and join another in case it dont work out :bassist:
     
  19. theshadow2001

    theshadow2001

    Jun 17, 2004
    Ireland
    1. You get cranky
    2. The top of your pants ends up around your arm pits

    :spit: :D

    Something will turn up eventually whether you start it yourself or not...it always does.
     
  20. purfektstranger

    purfektstranger

    Apr 10, 2003
    Canada
    It sounds to me like the chemistry in the band was either non existent or being stretched to the limits anyway. If those guys didn't have the nerve to confront you and let you go then they are cowards. Find yourself a better band and kick their fat a$$e$....or something like that.