so i got kicked out of my band today...

That list of the "only times I've said anything" was long enough to make your post somewhat comical. It's pretty evident that the other band members really didn't like to engage you in conversation, based on their tendency to not tell you about major decisions, particularly that one about you not being in the band anymore.

No sir, I'd say look inward for the root of the problem. My guess is that you're pretty outspoken, to put it euphemistically.

 

Wow, I thought I could write a good run-on sentence. Do you breathe when you talk?

 

Actually it's not a run-on sentence. Do you have trouble tracking? I did write a run-on in some other thread the other day, but it was on purpose.

 

I was referring to this, actually. I don't think I've ever read a Munjibunga post longer than 5 concise, well thought-out sentences, and most are shorter. Sorry for the mix-up.

 

I kinda know the feeling, was playing with a really really good band, well, more trying out, but it wasnt tight enough, so, im no longer with them . . . this happened earlier in the year . . . however, just found out yesterday they are supporting my favourite band :'(

You should be able to get in another band easily enough tho

 

Munj,

why would being outspoken cause a problem? I went through a similar situation at the beginning of the year so I am very interested in what you said and want to hear a bit more about it.



Joe.

 

+1! I wish I had his gift for getting to the point quickly, accurately, with devastating wit. I aspire to be like Munji. Maybe without the overbite though. Cool shades!

Randy

 

Being outspoken isn't a problem. You want everyone to be on the same page as much as possible to minimize friction. And to do that it helps if everyone mentions what page THEY are on.

The problem comes when you have to be outspoken ALL the time. Say they're more interested in partying than practicing, and you want to take it more seriously. There will be constant arguing, aggravation and tension because you're always nagging on them, if you're outspoken. Or you'll always be tense and aggravated if you're not outspoken and try to pretend it doesn't bother you.

If everyone wants the same things out of it, there's little tension or hassle. Being outspoken exposes the differences in your and their agenda. If found out soon enough, you can split while you are still friends before you piss each other off to the point its a hostile ugly breakup.

Outspoken is good. Having to be outspoken all the time isn't so much bad in and of itself, its a symptom of an underlying problem festering.

See, I should have waited for Munji. He could have explained it much faster than me...

Randy

 

Randy,

although I agree with what you said I got the impression from Munji that outspokenness could possibly be a BAD thing depending on the situation.

I'm real curious to hear what he has to say on it.

So, how 'bout it Munj?



Joe.

 

Whew! You almost hurt my feelings. I'll be OK now.

 

It has to do with all that testosterone coursing through the vessels of the 19-year-olds. My experience has been that younger folks tend to be more vocal and reactionary in stressful situations. Two things happen when you get older:

1. Experience makes it easier to discern times when outspokenness leads to tribulation and non-productive social intercourse and;

2. There's less testosterone and energy to waste on things like arguing with bandmates.

As an old fart, I appreciate playing with people who know when to let it slide. I play music to escape the day-to-day hassles of lawsuits, collections and interpersonal issues between employees at work. I don't tolerate excessive drama in bands. If it's my band, the perp has to split. If it's somebody else's band, I'm not going to stick around.

 

Ah, there you go then.

Good stuff.

Thanks Munj.



Joe.

 

OK, then. Perhaps I'm headed down the wrong track. Nonetheless, it doesn't sound like this band is what you're looking for. I'm with the others now ... you'll find something better.

PS But if I was right, then a little introspection never hurts. And get an estrogen shot. No, wait, that could make things even worse.

 

"Just shut up and play". Works every time.

 

start your own band and join another in case it dont work out

 

1. You get cranky
2. The top of your pants ends up around your arm pits



Something will turn up eventually whether you start it yourself or not...it always does.

 

It sounds to me like the chemistry in the band was either non existent or being stretched to the limits anyway. If those guys didn't have the nerve to confront you and let you go then they are cowards. Find yourself a better band and kick their fat a$$e$....or something like that.