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So what if it saved my life...it still shouldn't have been there!

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Waffles and Scotch, Apr 19, 2012.

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  1. Apr 19, 2012 #1
    Waffles and Scotch

    Waffles and Scotch Guest

    Sep 30, 2009
    Tampa, FL
    I went home on my lunchbreak and was about to enter my apartment when I saw a black line coming from my doorknob. I figured it was a piece of a flyer that flew away or something and was about to open the door, when something made me squat down to see what it was. Well it turns out there was a huge hornet hanging from the underside of my doorknob!! It's stinger was right where the palm of my hand would've been if I hadn't noticed it. :eek:

    I wish I had some pics, because this thing was BIG. At least 3 times the size of one of those giant hornets from Japan...actually, now that I think about it, it must've been about the same size as a Smart car. And it looked hungry. It was poised and ready to strike, and I'm fairly certain it was poisonous as well (just a feeling I get sometimes).

    I jumped back, tossed out some expletives, then stood there for a moment thinking about how to kill it before it killed me. Clearly this thing wanted me for lunch, and I wasn't about to let that happen. Then something caught my eye...what's that? The Yellow Pages??! Okay, that'll work. So I proceeded to swing at it a couple times with the YP...I hit it twice, and the 2nd time it flew off.

    While watching this behemoth flap it's 3 foot wings as it went off in search of another person to consume, I was left thinking to myself: "So what if it saved my life...it still shouldn't have been there!"

    Anyone else get p*ssed off that these companies keep wasting so much paper?
    :bag:
     
  2. Apr 19, 2012 #2
    MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Do people still use the phonebook? I dont remember the last time that I did... maybe to look up a pizza place?
    I know I used one to prop up a small chair that was missing one leg...
     
  3. Apr 19, 2012 #3
    Chef FourString

    Chef FourString Guest

    Feb 4, 2011
    Texas
    Lol. Good story, dude.

    And yes, I am troubled by the amount of wasted paper that goes into those types of things. :(
     
  4. Apr 19, 2012 #4
    Chef FourString

    Chef FourString Guest

    Feb 4, 2011
    Texas
    Had to use one once as a pillow. It wasn't too great. Ah, good times. :)
     
  5. Apr 19, 2012 #5
    Waffles and Scotch

    Waffles and Scotch Guest

    Sep 30, 2009
    Tampa, FL
    :D
     
  6. Apr 19, 2012 #6
    Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    Used one for toilet paper once when camping.
    Dont ask.

    yellow pages I mean, not hornets
     
  7. Apr 19, 2012 #7
    Horny Toad

    Horny Toad Guest

    Mar 4, 2005
    NJ
    NUKE IT FROM ORBIT!!!!!

    [​IMG]
     
  8. Apr 19, 2012 #8
    MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    I dont think I could kill something that looks so awesome.
    I can picture that thing transforming into a robot or something.
     
  9. Apr 19, 2012 #9
    Keano

    Keano Guest

    Dec 14, 2010
    Northern Virginia
    Wasted paper is one thing, but local businesses leaving these on the door is an indication that the house is/has been empty.

    Also, ^^^ KILL IT WITH FIRE.
     
  10. Apr 19, 2012 #10
    electracoyote

    electracoyote

    Jan 2, 2009
    Purple Mountain Majesties
    I thought you Floridians were used to big bugs.
     
  11. Apr 19, 2012 #11
    Horny Toad

    Horny Toad Guest

    Mar 4, 2005
    NJ
    Dude, that's why you'd have to nuke it. :D
     
  12. Apr 19, 2012 #12
    MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Well, as soon as I see it shapeshifting it'll meet my sole.
     
  13. Apr 19, 2012 #13
    Horny Toad

    Horny Toad Guest

    Mar 4, 2005
    NJ
    But if you miss, it'll eat your soul.
     
  14. Apr 19, 2012 #14
    Kwesi

    Kwesi

    Sep 19, 2007
    USA; Mitchellville, Maryland
    wallpaper-bumblebee-Transformers.gif
     
  15. Apr 19, 2012 #15
    colcifer

    colcifer Supporting Member

    Feb 10, 2010
    I used Atlas Shrugged as a pillow once. It wasn't ideal but it worked.
     
  16. Apr 19, 2012 #16
    Chef FourString

    Chef FourString Guest

    Feb 4, 2011
    Texas
    Ha, nice. Being broke ain't all that bad. ;)
     
  17. Apr 19, 2012 #17
    EricF

    EricF Habitual User

    Sep 26, 2005
    Pasadena, CA
    Phone books usually go directly from my front porch to the recycle bin. I'm sure there's a few people that still find them useful. I'm not one of those people.
     
  18. Apr 19, 2012 #18
    LarryO

    LarryO

    Apr 4, 2004
    Optimus is gonna be pissed
     
  19. Apr 19, 2012 #19
    klejst

    klejst Guest

    Oct 5, 2010
    Ha ha good story. I asked myself as well "do people even use phone books anymore?" I know I don't much. Last week they dropped off a new phone book to everyone in my neighborhood. I don't have any cool man eating hornet story...so I picked it up and preceded to rip in half multiple times with my bare hands like a boss ;)
     
  20. Apr 19, 2012 #20
    Waffles and Scotch

    Waffles and Scotch Guest

    Sep 30, 2009
    Tampa, FL
    Haha! That's great. :D
     
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