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Somebody up there really doesn't want me to have a band

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Seigi, Apr 6, 2006.

  1. Seigi


    Jul 3, 2005
    Okay, here's the deal. I've finally got up to a point where I'm skilled enough to be in a band. So, I talk to this guitarist friend of mine about starting up a band. He's a huge metalhead, but I'm more of a jazz person msyelf (I still like metal, though, so I'm fine with playing it and such).

    I go over to his house to jam. I've got a wimpy 15 watt practise amp and my Fender Jazz in a gig bag because...well, I'm walking and there's no way I'm carrying a 75 watt amp to just jam with a guitarist. When I come in, I find that his only "setup" is a cheap distortion pedal, a 10 watt amp, and a cord that doesn't work too well.

    Not to mention that, but his only guitar was a very cheap ($100) Squier Strat with rusty strings, a rusty whammy bar, broken machine heads, a white pickguard that's completely black over one area (white when he bought it) and a barely functioning jack (I think the wiring's screwed up or something).

    I'm still trying to find some good in this. I figure I'll lend him my guitar for shows until he can get the money to get an acceptable guitar. He wants to show me what he knows by playing a song. When he does, his chord structure is screwed up, he's playing off key, and out of time. Upon closer inspection, I found out that he's been playing guitar for 2 years (self-taught), doesn't know what chords are, doesn't know what notes are, can't fret with his pinky...he can't even read tabs. My reaction at this point can be best described as :eek:

    So, I speak to him and say it might be best if he sings; he's not half bad at that. So, in a search for another guitarist, we find this one guy who primarily plays bass, but plays guitar on the side. Good enough. Only thing is, I find out that he's moving out of state in the simmer. So at this point, I pretty much just say, "*#!? it", and move on.

    I eventually find myself a keyboardist who's pretty good, so I revive the concept with me on vocals and bass, and with a different style. We're going to start off covering King Crimson and Pink Floyd, and we're going to call ourselves, "The Talentless Hacks". Now, all that we need is a guitarist and a drummer (in the worst case scenario, a metronome will function as a drummer until we can find one). I speak to another guitarist friend (or at least try to), but he refuses to speak to me. And of course, he's the only guitarist in the school I go to that's willing to play Pink Floyd; most of the other players are metalheads.

    I guess I'll just have to deal with a 2 man lineup for now. =/
  2. Lazylion

    Lazylion Goin ahead on wit my bad self!

    Jan 25, 2006
    Frederick MD USA
    Shouldn't have mentioned the metronome. :meh:
  3. bannedwit


    May 9, 2005
    Buffalo, NY
    Try this... going to recording and getting your car totalled because someone ran a read light just as you were crossing it...

    Tell me that isn't karma or someone upstairs telling me to stop being in a band or in a band with those guys...
  4. Boys oh boys! It didn't sound good from the first paragraph....and it just got worse. Where I live there just aren't that many musicians around, so I can sympathise.

    In the ideal world you'll meet other bandmates who'll be of similar (or better) competence, and want to play the same kind of material, and have the same aspirations. At least as you're still in school, it stands a fair chance of happening eventually, so just hang on in there. Keep practising and improving, and you'll be ready...... or go out as a one man band :)
  5. Seigi


    Jul 3, 2005
    I actually was referring to just practising. We're obviously not going on stage without a drummer we haven't been playing with for a while.
  6. chaosMK


    May 26, 2005
    Albuquerque, NM
    Too much hip thrust
    Keep looking, for an entire lineup.
  7. Dooood.... That is barely a block along the boulevard that leads to the entrance ramp which heads onto the highway of frustrating situations with the lovable flakes we call "other musicians."

    Happy motoring. And you shouldn't be able to throw a rock without hitting a guitar player. So... hang in there.
  8. Poop-Loops

    Poop-Loops Inactive

    Mar 3, 2006
    Auburn, Washington
    I was expecting a tale of of you getting stuck in the mountains or breaking some fingers or something. I haven't tried starting a band, but reading other people's posts and even reading up on other (successful) bands, I was thinking it would be a lot harder anyway.
  9. txbasschik


    Nov 11, 2005
    Leander, Texas
    +1...What she said!

  10. Gomez

    Gomez Live from the Shire

    Apr 15, 2005
    I quit my pretty decent (earning) covergig last year and ever since I wasn't able to find anything nice.

    I was thinking about quitting playing altogether until I got a phonecall from a drummer who got my number from some guy I know and guess what? It's the best band I've ever been in!
  11. Because of my work schedule, I can't really be in a band right now. (I work from three in the afternoon till one-thirty in the morning on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday), so I just jam with friends when they're available. These guys are already in other bands (sometimes more than one) and can't fit in another regular gig. They can collaborate on a one time gig here and there, but I want a regular gig.

    Before work turned into a little thing I call "HELL ON EARTH", I too started thinking that it just wasn't in the cards for me to be in a band. I wanted to form a garage rock thing. You know, three chords, no waiting, fuzzy guitars, over-driven bass, Farfisa or Hammond B3 keyboard noises, and a lead singer who clearly needs his or her meds. Rather than just name specific bands for influences, I said stuff that sounds like it should be on the Nuggets compilation or on Little Steven's Underground Garage. Should be easy, no? After all, we're not talking about musical virtuosity here, just the ability to keep time, turn it up to 11 and rock the hell out.

    I put an ad on craigslist as well as on the bulletin boards of several music stores and practice spaces in town. Got TONS of replies. Here's a few:

    "Saw your ad. We're a jam band. We play a lot of Dead, Phish, etc." I got a couple of those.

    "Hey man, this is Lord Hagoth. I'm in a goth band. We're kind of like Bauhaus meets Fields of the Nephilm. I think you'd work out fine."

    "Saw your ad. We're a Top40 band. We play everything from Britney Spears to the Backstreet Boys to KC and the Sunshine Band."

    Believe it or not, I don't look down on any of that music. Probably at least some of those gigs might be well paying. I'm just not the guy for those projects.

    Finally did meet two guitar players. I rented a practice space (I live in an apartment) to audition players. Now I like to play loud, but these two noise merchants were SO damn loud, I started playing a totally different song than them AND THEY NEVER NOTICED! And I'm playing a 500 watt Ampeg. Suffice it to say, it wasn't going to work out.

    Soon after that, I got put on this shift, so the band thing is on hold until this fall.
  12. labgnat

    labgnat Inactive

    Oct 29, 2005
    outta this world
    Gomez, I love that Sausage avatar of yours:bassist:
  13. Rob Lewis

    Rob Lewis

    Feb 23, 2006
    Seigi, I admire your stoicism. The guitarist who I play with (very intermittently) is like yours, but he's been at it for 30 years(!). Can only work out keys by noodling over the root. Bad. This is because he has been jamming along to records for about 29 of those years, so here's a piece of advice: play with other people or abandon hope.
  14. Gomez

    Gomez Live from the Shire

    Apr 15, 2005
    Well.....I quit. The 2 gp's started giving me crap about my input and some other stuff while out drinking. I made a stupid remark about one gp's depressed wife. Probably got socked for that because my nose has been hurting all week.

    Anyway....just picked up my stuff.

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