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Something awefull happened today

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by ldiezman, Sep 22, 2002.

  1. ldiezman


    Jul 11, 2001
    I'm sitting here in a daze right now. I had just gotten back to my room from eating and I receive a call from my girlfriend. Now I can tell when something is wrong just by her voice.. I asked what was wrong and she said "i can't talk long because I have to take ***** to the hospital." I asked what had happened and she said "I can't talk about it right now, but she has been hurt"..

    Well I get a call from her about an hour later and my worst fear became reality... My girlfriend starts to tell me how our friend was rapped... She was running down to the colliseum (which is about 2 miles from campus) when a man comes up to her and puts a knife to her throat and tells her to take her clothes off. afterwards she runs to the Library on campus where my girlfriend was studying.. She tells here what happened.. they go to the police then the hospital....

    and that is where I am left.. I don't know anything else... and it is killing me.. I am not a violent person, but that kind of act gets me so mad.. I think if I were to find this man myself it would be all I could do not to kill this man.

    this may not be an appropriate thread, and I am sorry.. but I can't talk about it with my friends here.. I don't want them to know... I'm so angry and upset right now... and I feel so lost...
  2. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001
    Just continue to be supportive, and hope the guy gets caught, goes to jail and gets the same treatment every day. It's a horrible crime. I've seen what it can do to people, the key to getting through it seems to be not to try to get through it alone. Easier said than done, and near impossible for some. Best wishes to your friend.
  3. ChenNuts44


    Nov 18, 2001
    Davenport, IA
    I'm sorry...
  4. Whatever you do, do not let anyone--including yourself--say to this person, "I know how you feel." A friend of mine was raped by her boyfriend a few years back and dies a thousand times inside every time some insensitive twit says that.
  5. ldiezman


    Jul 11, 2001
    how true.. I will never know how she feels.. I can't even imagine what that would be like.

    She has gone back home now. here mother came and picked her up last night. My girlfriend is terribly upset.. they are very very close friends. There hasn't been a rape on campus in 3 years, now some sick F'er comes along and does something this disgusting. I hate this so much, and as bad as I am feeling, it can't even begin to compare with what she is going through.
  6. superfreak

    superfreak Unregistered

    Aug 18, 2002
    Clarksville, TN
    I have been in your girlfriends friends shoes. I do know what its like and what she is going through. Fortunatly it will get better for her, but it will take a long time and a lot of therapy. The memory will ALWAYS be there. You keep a level head, let the police do their work, and be there for your girlfriend and her friend. There are a lot of crazy people out, and it sucks that its the innocent people who get hurt! I can go on and quite vilontly, however, I will just say that I am so very sorry to hear that this had happened. Let me know if there is anything I can do.
  7. Oysterman


    Mar 30, 2000
    Everytime I hear something like this, I just want to grab my old, dull kitchen knife and go Bobbit on the sorry f-ers who do this. :mad: I don't consider myself a violent person, but if someone did that to a friend of mine and I knew who he was, he'd be best off hiding in the Mongolian mountains for the coming 50 years! :mad: :mad:
  8. Ditto.

    I'm truly sorry. Just be there for her, cause she's gonna need a shoulder to cry on for a long time.

    Rock on
  9. Stupidnick


    Mar 22, 2002
    ...my room...
    hey man im sorry to hear that

    That totally sucks though man. :( :( :( :(

    I hope she gets better and everything
  10. Chad Michael

    Chad Michael Supporting Member

    Sep 19, 2001
    Pacific Northwest USA

    dammit to hell!!!! what the hell gets into someone's mind when they do such hideous things?

    your friend needs support and i sure hope that her friends and family are there for her 110%.

    :confused: :(

    life really changes when you encounter your worst fears. sorry ...
  11. Erlendur Már

    Erlendur Már

    May 24, 2000
    I'm very sorry to hear that..
    Sick f-ers like that make me mad:mad:
  12. I think rape is the most atrocious crime on earth, next to murder. It has a very critical recovery period, so follow the advice laid out above.

    The only good thing I can say is that people deal with this differently. I know a girl who has been raped three times, and it really doesn't affect her behaviour. Her exact words are 'It says a lot more about them that they need to rape me to feel good about themselves'. I find this amazing, but I hope that it says something about the hardiness of the human psyche.

    Deepest regrets,

  13. a friend of mine was raped just last month. her and her roomate got way to drunk at a party and the guy who was throwing it told them that they could crash so they fell asleep. that night she woke up with him on top of her. he had stacked pillows over her roomate to try and not wake her up. the thing that just killed me was when she said "its realy my fault, I shouldn't have put myself in that kind of position." no joke she said that. unfortunatly for the rapist scum bag a$$hole SOB i knew who he was. and i wont go into any details but he will have to wait a couple of months before they can take the cast off.

    i just cant get over how she reacted to it. it was amazing. she totaly blamed herself. she doesnt want to tell the police(we are slowly trying to convince her to). she thinks that they will not believe her and think shes stupid; basicly she feels very ashamed. and its not like its easy for her to deal with something like this openly when its so embarrasing for her. anyway its a tough time but im doing everything i can to suport her and so are the rest of our friends.

    so anywasy idlezman the world is a horrible place sometimes, hang in there.
  14. Phat Ham

    Phat Ham

    Feb 13, 2000
    Here's a scary thought: I forget what the exact numbers are, but something like 1 in 4 women are sexually assaulted by the time they graduate college. So if you know 4 girls chances are one of them has been sexually assaulted.
  15. BigBohn


    Sep 29, 2001
    WPB, Florida
    That is terrible. Hope she makes thru it well.
  16. ocelot_ark


    Apr 12, 2002
    I've actually had two past girlfriends and my sister raped. Both of the girls dropped out of college and my sister never went. They were all intelligent, but that seemed to totally destroy their self confidence. My sister has been in therapy for about 5-7 years and she is just now getting to the point where she'll date again.

    One of my ex's got raped only a week or two after we mutually broke it off. Thing was, I actually saw her earlier that night at the party this happened at. So...bang...I'm a witness. I had to go to court and testify as to her morality and her state (sobriety). It was VERY hard to not go kick the f*cker in the nuts while I was talking. Two things that really bothered me about her situation: 1) The guy was a football player. Division I football player. Linebacker. Huge. She's a dancer. Actress. Tiny. 2) She was a virgin. She now believes that she is not.

    Anyway, if it's bothering you a LOT...do what I did...go see a counselor. It really helped me to have someone I could talk to face to face who knew what to say and how to make me feel better. Most of all, be supportive, but I MUST ask you to get on the phone with your friend ASAP. Do NOT let her quit school. Do not let her transfer. If she does that, she's admitting to herself that he has control over her. Something like this can happen anywhere, not just your campus...let her know this. Let her know how much you'll miss seeing her. Let her know how much you guys love her.

    By the way, in the case of my ex's and sister, none of the guys were ever punished. NONE OF THEM. Of course, all of mine were "date-rape," but that's still a very disturbing thing I have to deal with every day.

    Best of luck
  17. ARA punk

    ARA punk

    Jul 11, 2001
    USA, Shelby, NC
    I was on a trip in seventh grade and a girl was in the bathroom and a guy came in and grabbed her, the bathrooms were downstairs, and were the only things down there. Myself and another fairly big dude heard her screaming and ran down there and pulled the guy off her. He was drunk, but apparantly didn't want to tussle (w/ anyone but a fifteen year old girl) so he ran up the stairs (right into the arms of the restaruant owner). The owner proceded to kick that mans ass all the way out the door and onto the sidewalk. I was soo angry about that.... I cant imagine if he'd actually gone through w/ it. At least the urge to kick his ass was quenched slightly....

    it still left us w/ no relief.
  18. ldiezman, everyone is right, all you can do is try to be there for the people you care about in this situation. One word of warning, though. Be prepared for the possibility that your friend will push you away.

    When a friend of mine was raped several years ago, I tried to be there and support her, but she pushed me away, rather violently (emotionally, not physically). At the time I had a hard time understanding this as we had always been a source of support for each other. Being male, though, the very sight of me sickened and enraged her for a long time. I'm not saying that this will be the case here, but don't let it get to you should it happen. If it does, just respect her and give her her space, when she's ready she'll come to you, and be grateful for your stepping aside.
  19. int


    Jan 21, 2002
    Phoenix, AZ
    There are no easy answers. I've been in a similiar position, and really the only thing you can do is be a friend and not let your emotions do something stupid. As hard as that is, that's the best thing you can do.

    Unless SHE asks you to be directly involved, all you have left to do is fume. But if it really bothers you, do some research into how you can assist in the prevention of this disease. There are people out there that are trying so solve this problem by creative, intelligent, functional means.

    Your emotions lead you to violence. Society says "hang in there" and hope. I say "learn and assist" in prevention (as well as whatever support SHE asks for). And involve yourself in one of (if not the) world's biggest problem(s).

    You're intelligent, don't make matters worse or more complicated. If you actually give a s***, do some research, and when you're satisfied in your education, get involved. The creative and intelligent are always welcome.
  20. damn, there are some ****ty people out there.
    I have four sisters and all of them have been lucky enough to never be sexually assaulted. They're all married and have good husbands. All you can do is hope and pray some f*cking sex monster doesn't prey on them.

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