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Sometimes life throws one hell of a curveball...

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Scarlet Fire, Aug 23, 2007.


  1. Scarlet Fire

    Scarlet Fire

    Mar 31, 2007
    New England
    Last Saturday, my father had to be taken into the hospital due to complications from liver cancer. He's been in there since, and he's rapidly declining.

    The doctors have told us that he doesn't have much time left. Two weeks or so at the most, if that. We've been told to make preparations and let all of his family know, which we've been working on.

    Fortunately, he's not in any pain because of the morphine and an altered mental function. His liver is starting to fail, which is throwing off all of his chemical levels. Because of that, he's in a very altered state of mind. He recognizes us in the immediate short term, but he has no idea what's happening to him or why. He's very calm and peaceful, and we intend to keep it that way. Why bother waking him up just so he can worry about what's going to happen to him? Besides- even if we did try to tell him, I don't think he would understand in the condition he's in right now. We're going to let him go as peacefully as possible, and all of the doctors agree with our decision.

    We've known that the cancer was going to kill him eventually. My dad was disqualified from getting a liver transplant back when he was diagnosed because the combined size of the tumors was too big. Unfortunately, the only cure for liver cancer is a transplant. So, we've known he's going to die for a while now. It doesn't make it any easier, though.

    I can't help worry about my family, though. My little brother is only 13, and my older brother is supposed to be heading off to college in about a week. Then I have to go away to school in a year, and I'll be leaving my mom and little brother alone. The though of them being on their own just kills me. But I guess we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.

    I'm doing okay so far. I've done a lot of research on my own about what's happening, so scientifically speaking, I know exactly what's going on and why, which helps me a lot. But for now, it's just so weird seeing things like my dad's reading glasses lying on the desk, or his jacket hanging on the hook and thinking "he's never coming home again."

    And to think, just last year I was worried about some girl I liked not liking me in return. Sure puts things like that into perspective.

    Last time I checked, 17 year-olds weren't supposed to have to deal with this stuff. :scowl:
     
  2. Indiana Mike

    Indiana Mike

    Nov 18, 2005
    Sorry to hear.
    I hope the rest of his life is peacful and pain free.
     
  3. Poop-Loops

    Poop-Loops Banned

    Mar 3, 2006
    Auburn, Washington
    Nope. You have a tough time ahead of you.

    But don't feel bad that you were thinking of a girl. That's what's supposed to happen. The fact that this fell in your lap doesn't mean everything else is meaningless compared to it.
     
  4. Jiggybass

    Jiggybass

    Nov 15, 2005
    Sudbury, Canada
    Big plus one to your whole post there, had one hell of a time like that, also at 17, when my grandpa came to visit us, but ended up being admitted to the hospital with two tumors, and colon cancer, that no-one, not even him had known about.

    He never came back home, instead he got transfered to his hometown, because that's where he wanted to go. He died the morning after arriving at the hospital. He had brought two books to read while staying here, and both of them still lay untouched on the table beside the couch, weird to still see them there.

    I feel for you man, there's nothing I can say really to help you out, besides the fact that at least he won't have to suffer at all anymore. Stick with your family, by that I don't mean to always stay with them physically, but to stay in their hearts is what matters.

    In any case, I hope the best to you.
     
  5. ROON

    ROON

    Aug 5, 2006
    Sydney, Australia
    Very sorry to hear this Scarlet Fire. :( Best wishes to yourself and all of your family.
     
  6. Baryonyx

    Baryonyx Banned

    Jul 11, 2005
    Marathon Man
    Sorry to hear about your situation, I hope things work out for you in the best way that they can.
     
  7. I can relate to this very well, I lost my mother in a similar fashion. I'm very sorry you are going through this at any time, age will not ease the experience - I was 41 when my mother passed and it tore me up. I don't even want to think of my father in this way....

    You have time with your dad, make the most of it, spend every possible waking moment with him, let him know you're there and you love him. I wish I could have had that opportunity with my mother, she passed suddenly and I did not have time to get home to be by her side.
     
  8. Dan1099

    Dan1099 Dumbing My Process Down

    Aug 7, 2004
    Michigan
    I feel you, man. I'm 22, and my dad just got diagnosed with throat cancer. It's very advanced. :(
     
  9. Bryan316

    Bryan316 Banned

    Dec 20, 2006
    Detroit
    Last time I checked, 27 year olds weren't supposed to be diagnosed with cancer.

    Cancer has no reservations. No age restrictions. No preferences. Cancer is not racist, sexist or religiously biased. Cancer doesn't care how important you are or meaningless you are. Cancer doesn't care what time it is. Cancer doesn't matter how many bills you have to pay.



    Cancer sucks, man. No matter what.
     
  10. Musiclogic

    Musiclogic Commercial User

    Aug 6, 2005
    Southwest Michigan
    Owner/Builder: HJC Customs USA, The Cool Lute, C G O
    Be thankful for 17 years with him, I only had 2 1/2 years with my dad. It's painful, and it's like someone throws you off a building, but life goes on. So be there as much as you can, and remember Always.
     
  11. MAJOR METAL

    MAJOR METAL The Beagle Father Staff Member Supporting Member

    I am very sorry you have to endure this at this point in your life. Seek comfort and strength in your loved ones , you will all make it through together.
     
  12. louieeadg

    louieeadg uncle petey?

    Jun 13, 2007
    outer banks, nc
    SF, you'll be alright...you sound a lot like myself at that age dealing with the same problem. He'll live as long as you want him to...remember that.
     
  13. kydnav

    kydnav

    Jun 24, 2006
    Netherlands
    My aunt's getting treatment for liver, lung and stomach cancer right now.. Not looking to positive..
     
  14. CapeBass

    CapeBass Guest

    I'm sorry to hear this, it's a hard thing to go through. I lost my parents by the time I was 43. My father was 16 months ago and I still think of him every day. Time stops the tears but not the memories.
     
  15. My condolences. I`ll agree with Gard, stay with your dad as long as possible.
    ... that`s just horrible.
     
  16. Dan1099

    Dan1099 Dumbing My Process Down

    Aug 7, 2004
    Michigan
    To put it in the words of one of my coworkers, who heard the discussion I was having with my mom, "Cancer is a real M****rF*****r."
     
  17. Baryonyx

    Baryonyx Banned

    Jul 11, 2005
    Marathon Man
    Yeah, I think that's quite fair to say. :(
     
  18. I feel you man. I lost one of my best buddy when he was 20. Cancer got him. He lost his right leg a year or so before he died. I was at a hard time in life when that happened.

    My mother has Lupus. I hope she gets to see my children.

    Life hits harder than anything out there. Stay strong.
     
  19. louieeadg

    louieeadg uncle petey?

    Jun 13, 2007
    outer banks, nc
    And don't use substances for pain relief...deal with it first.
     
  20. Tomis17

    Tomis17

    Jan 21, 2007
    Wisconsin
    I haven't gone through somethnig like that but I definitely feel your pain. As distant as me and my dad are, I would be crushed if he had cancer and was dying. Make the most of your time with him. Every second you have is a second you can't take back. May God bless your family through these tough times and may He be with your father through the journy ahead of him.
     

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