... and I'm sorry. I've noticed a lot of hate cast in the direction of the ol' Matt bone this days, and I couldn't figure out why for the longest time... but now it's very apparent... I SUCK! It's amazing it took me this long to figure it out, but now that I know, it feels that a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. Why do I suck (more than usual). It's been a really really tough time for me right now. As you know, my dad has cancer... and it's getting worse. It was once lung and brain. Now it's Lung, Brain, Bone (hip), and Adrenal. Bad Ass. The Kemo wasn't doing jack, so he went to Chicago specialist center. Now, he doesn't have to get Kemo. He's starting a pill that replaces kemo (I'm probably spelling "Kemo" wrong, but bear with me) so his life is going to get a lot easier. Plus we heard this story about this guy who was a hundred times worse than my dad, but in a similar state, took these pills. Two weeks later, the hospital gets a call, the dude was back at work! It's given my family much needed hope. Next on the agenda... my dad isn't the only sick/dying person around. Nobody family (yet) but my g/f's grandpa had shoulder surgery, friends of mine have dying/sick relatives... and bad news was coming from everywhere. But it's clearing up a bit. Next... NEW Puppy. Sounds joyus blah blah.. but housetraining sucks. But it turns out she had worms, so we're taking care of that. Plus one of the biggest, quite a bit of self hatred. I'm not finding people to start bands with/make music with, and I've stated this before but... music is my life. Without music, I wouldn't have life. I make my own music and I'm getting better about thinking about things polyphonicly (real word? I dunno?). So I figure, I'm improving myself so when I do find the right oppertunity, I'll be good... I hope I hope I hope. Plus I have a growing interest in production, I'd like to own a studio one day and produce local musicians CDs/promos. I have a lot of fun with that stuff. So things are lightening up, so I hope I lighten up. I'm a rather opinionated person, and when I'm mad I find my opinons coming across as "rules" or something of that nature, so in conclusion. Sorry I suck, I'm very legit about this, I know I've pissed some people off on this board, and for that I apologize. I don't not like anyone on this board. Talkbass has helped me in ways I don't think I could ever comprehend, and we all are talkbass (*"We are the World" playing in the background*). When I'm not learning something, I'm LMAOing or LOLing or NRLBA (not really laughing... but amused). I've discovered so much new music as well, some of the best by TBers. I could continue this rant, but if anyone has read this far. I feel sorry for them, so I'm going to end it now. I suck.