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Statler and Waldorf quotes

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by slobake, Apr 11, 2014.

  1. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    I really like Statler and Waldor in the Muppets. I think they have the best lines in the show.

    Statler: Lines, what lines?
    Waldorf: On your face you old fool

    Okay I made that one up but it sounds like something they would say.


    Here is one of my favorite quotes:

    Statler: Do you believe in life after death?

    Waldorf: Every time I leave this theater.

    BTW you can blame Titus for this. ;)
  2. Mktrat

    Mktrat Seriously, are we not doing phrasing anymore? Supporting Member

    Apr 9, 2013
    The Mitten
    STATLER: I wonder if there really is life on another planet.
    WALDORF: Why do you care? You don’t have a life on this one?
  3. Mktrat

    Mktrat Seriously, are we not doing phrasing anymore? Supporting Member

    Apr 9, 2013
    The Mitten
    And then there is this one......

    S: Waldorf!! Wake up! Here come the bikinis!

    W: Oh boy! Let's syncronize our pace makers!
  4. mellowinman

    mellowinman Free Man

    Oct 19, 2011
    Statler: Does this show constitute as cruelty to animals?
    Waldorf: Not unless they're watching it.
  5. Webtroll

    Webtroll Rolling for initiative

    Apr 23, 2006
    Austin, TX
    S: You know, there's nothing like grand opera.
    W: Yep, and that was nothing like it.
  6. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    Here is a quote applicable to us here on TBOT:

    Statler: The internet is a completly different culture isn't it

    Waldorf: You said it. Everything here is immeadiatly followed by sarcastic comments and nasty responses.

    Statler: Yup, we're finally where we belong.
  7. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    The chef has some nice lines too. Should I be worried that I actually understand some of them?

    Don't miss Statler and Waldorf being thier usual sarcastic selves at the end of this.
  8. When Milton Berle was on the "Muppet Show":

    Statler: Hey, Berle.
    Milton Berle: What?
    Statler: You know what? I've just figured out your style.
    Milton Berle: Really?
    Waldorf: You work like Gregory Peck.
    Milton Berle: Gregory Peck's not a comedian.
    Waldorf: Well...
    Milton Berle: Now, just a minute. I have been a successful comedian half of my life.
    Waldorf: How come we got this half?

    Milton Berle: Look, did you come here to be entertained or not?
    Statler: That's right.
    Milton Berle: What's right?
    Statler: We came in here to be entertained, and we're not.

    Milton Berle: I dare you both to come down here to entertain.
    Waldorf: Yeah, we should.
    Milton Berle: Do you sing?
    Waldorf: No.
    Milton Berle: Do you dance?
    Statler: No.
    Milton Berle: Do you get laughs?
    Waldorf: No.
    Milton Berle: Then what would you do?
    Waldorf: Just what you're doing!
  9. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    I have nothing to add to the conversation, although I blame a mixture of Muppet Show reruns and being forced to listen to Prarie Home Companion on a weekly basis during my formative years for my stunted sense of humor.
  10. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    I blame Monty Python, Benny Hill and British people in general.