Steven Cobert on bassists

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Siegy, Dec 27, 2007.

  1. Siegy


    Jun 28, 2007
    Central Neb.
    In the Immigration chapter of Steven Colbert's book I Am America (And So Can You!):

    "If we want to get rid of these occupational interlopers, I say we give them jobs nobody wants to do...

    Bass Player: It's like you made a poorly worded deal with the devil to be a rock star. Instead of fame, fortune and groupies, you stand in the shadows plucking one note for 90 minutes while the lead singer picks out a trio of coeds from the front row for a post-show pansexual trapeze act. Even worse, you're expected to room with the drummer."

    DISCLAIMER: This is NOT a political debate thread, so don't even think about it.
  2. kesslari

    kesslari Groovin' with the Fusion Cats Staff Member Gold Supporting Member

    Dec 21, 2007
    Santa Cruz Mtns, California
    Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones
    True story:
    Years ago, when I was playing full time, my brother married a protologist.
    And she asked me "What made you decide to become a bass player?"
    And so I got to ask her, by way of reply "Well, what made you decide to become a PROCTOLOGIST?"

    We both had valid reasons that were definitely not apparent to someone "outside" that world (music in one case, medicine in the other)...
  3. SpankyPants

    SpankyPants That's Mr. SpankyPants to you.

    Aug 24, 2006
    Brooklyn, NY
    I never understood proctologists... If you work at McDonald's, you come home smelling like french fries, right?

    I just don't understand.
  4. HollowBassman


    Jun 24, 2007
    Hancock, MD
    This is definately a candidate for being my new sig.
  5. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Maybe the real question should have been posed to your bro...

    "What made you decide to marry a proctologist?"
  6. IconBasser

    IconBasser Scuba Viking

    Feb 28, 2007
    Fontana, California
    poo, now I have to look up what the heck a proctologist is...
  7. Vic Winters

    Vic Winters

    Apr 20, 2006
    Western NY
    May I suggest Google image search?

  8. vbsurfer3001


    Jul 25, 2005
    Sounds to me like he has some practical experience.... :smug:
  9. markjazzbassist

    markjazzbassist Supporting Member

    Apr 19, 2005
    Shaker Heights, OH
    that colbert thing is hilarious. pretty true too:)
  10. :D
  11. Cerb


    Sep 27, 2004
    Cleverly worded pun or a humorous coincidence?
  12. JanusZarate

    JanusZarate Low End Avenger

    Feb 21, 2006
    Boise, ID, USA
    Sigged. :D

    I'm opting for "cleverly worded coincidence." ;)

    I think Colbert's new book is hilarious, based on some of the chapters I've read. I can forgive his bass player comments...

    ...hmm... I might have to reconsider my vote for the upcoming Presidential election. :D
  13. Haha. I just got Colbert's book for Christmas! :D
  14. Valerus


    Aug 4, 2005
    Austin, Texas
    HAHAHA :eek::hyper:
  15. +1000:D:D:D
  16. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    I liked his "standing in the shadows" reference whether it was on purpose or not. Maybe he's a Jamerson fan! :D

    BTW, proctologists aren't called "proctologists" anymore.

  17. Bob Lee (QSC)

    Bob Lee (QSC) In case you missed it, I work for QSC Audio!

    Jul 3, 2001
    Chester, Connecticut
    Former Technical Communications Developer, QSC Audio
    I'll guess that she never ate bagels. Am I right?
  18. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    I think he's had some experience playing bass. Either that, or he's secretly stalking TB.