I'm pretty much just blowing off some steam here, but fee free to join in, perhaps I can learn something. So I've spent the last moth setting up, booking and promoting a showcase gig for my band and others who are good friends. things are going pretty good considering we have four bands on the bill and piles could be going wrong (ie, no cancellations, no hurt feelings, not drama, ect) except for yesterday at practice. I show up to the practice space, get all loaded up and ready to go, and we play a few tunes and write out the setlist. All is well and good until I bring up the last gig we did, where my drummer and guitarist packed up and hauled out their gear during the other band's set. It would not have been a big deal, but there is no backstage at this venue. They loaded everything off to the sides, packed it up,and hauled it out the back door, right by the stage. AS THE OTHER BAND WAS IN MID-SET!!! I don't know about you , but if someone did that to me, I'd be unwilling to play with them in the future. For the record, it was just so that they could go home. There were no pressing needs or anything that I've heard, Just that these guys had played and wanted to leave. We are a new band, and we asked the artists setting up the last show if we could play with them as a favor. This time, I don't want this sort of thing going on. I told the guys that they are welcome to load out during the break, but not during the set. AND THIS PISSED OFF MY GUITARIST!!! My guitar player has no desire to market the band, it turns out, and was even resentful that I expected him to wait till the end of the show to load out (I said ideally). "Why should I have to be there for 4 hours? I want to go to bed!" Is what he says. If you aren't willing to spend the time at the venue, what makes you think that our fans will be? I just feel that this guy wants his cake and wants to eat it too. He does not seem to think that we have to work to make this happen. He keeps telling me to get a recurring booking somewhere, but I can't convince him that we need fans to do so. Before our first gig together, I wanted to play for a few musician friends to get some feedback on our stuff before we make arses of ourselves in front of strangers. Excerpt: "I just want to have some dude's over, play our set and see if they have any good critiques for us." "Why?" "Cause it's our first show out and I'd like to iron out any bad habits or bad sound before the gig." "Well, I hear ya, but we sound fine. We don't need to." "To be honest, you cant be objective while you're playing" "No, i listen while we are playing, and my wife listens too" (Through the floor, with the t.v. on, watching the kids) "Look, I just want some qualified ears to check us out, give us some feedback. At worst, we get to hang out with our friends and drink beer." "Dude, we will get plenty of feedback at the show." ... Also, at the last show he brought his infant children. It was a family friendly affair, but he let them run wild in the audience and then lifted one up to sing into the mic on stage as people were taking their seats. it would have been cute if the kid had not have been shrieking "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" at full boar. It hurt. More than a few hands leaped to cover ears. And get this. I suggest that we get together the day of the gig to practice once before we go on stage and get filmed playing. He kiboshes the idea, saying "It's bad luck to practice the day of the gig". Of course, we re-wrote some harmonies at the last practice (I'm singing those) and it will be the last practice until the show. I guess we will both just have to have perfect pitch that night... GAH!!! I'm not ready to bail on him yet. It's a solid project and there's real chemistry between all the players, but this sort of thing is really irksome. I don't see how he can be so unreasonable about some of these simple things. When I do a show, I do the whole show. I stay late and sell merch and help tear down the stage (where applicable). This guy just wants to be a rockstar. I've had to draw harder and harder lines for him recently, and it's getting old. Like I said, I want to ride it out if it's a rough patch, because it's really not as bad as I make it sound all the time. But when he is (By my judgement) Flat out unreasonable, It gets under my skin. Am I being unreasonable?