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Stuff my spouse said

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by D M C, Jan 6, 2018.


  1. D M C

    D M C Oh good god, this again? Supporting Member

    Feb 19, 2015
    North America, Earth
    On the threshold of a verge on the brink.
    This is a thread for the things that your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, roommate, etc., etc. says that make you realize that you’re very different people.

    Here’s mine from this morning:

    In the bathroom, my wife has gotten out of the shower and has towelled off, but not yet dressed when her phone rings (doesn’t really ring, it’s a ringtone of Booker T & the MG’s Green Onions).

    Me: Aren’t you going to answer that?

    Her: I don’t answer the phone when I’m naked.

    Your turn.
     
  2. murphy

    murphy

    May 5, 2004
    Toronto, Canada
    hahaha....Classic
     
    D M C likes this.
  3. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    Song Surgeon slow downer. https://tinyurl.com/y5dcuqjg
    Yeah, no.
    You won the internet today.
    Now, how can I get that picture out of my head?
     
  4. bluesblaster

    bluesblaster

    Jan 2, 2008
    I got nuthin
     
  5. twinjet

    twinjet Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Sep 23, 2008
    49
    Wife: "You'll like this movie. It's got music!"
    twinjet: "That's like saying 'you'll like this book, it's got words'."

    It was at that moment I realized how much of a Captain Obvious my wife was and that I was legally bound to her for a very, very long time.
     
  6. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Retired Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    "Yes" or "no." Never.
     
  7. oldrocker

    oldrocker

    Feb 13, 2005
    Long Island, NY
    I'm with her, I never ever answer the phone unless it's family or a close friend. Anyone else will leave a message if its important.

    CallerID is your friend.
     
    murphy likes this.
  8. Aberdumbie

    Aberdumbie

    Jan 22, 2016
    South Carolina
    Wife had shoulder surgery a couple years back. She is a list person. She is recovering and preparing a list of things she has to figure a way to get done with one arm. She arrives fastening her “undergarment”.... I (thought) I looked at her innocently and started to say, “well hon I’ll be happy”..... NO!.. Just no....... I think there may have been an underlying message there... I’m not sure.
     
    D M C, Fat Freddy, Gaolee and 2 others like this.
  9. D M C

    D M C Oh good god, this again? Supporting Member

    Feb 19, 2015
    North America, Earth
    On the threshold of a verge on the brink.
    I’m not sure if people know that people cannot see you - naked or otherwise - over the telephone.

    Right? You know they can’t. Don’t you?
     
  10. StyleOverShow

    StyleOverShow Still Playing After All These Years Gold Supporting Member

    May 3, 2008
    Portland
    I proposed a very popular place to eat and my wife responds ‘nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.’

    Actually Yogi Berra
     
    Rune Bivrin, zontar, JRA and 3 others like this.
  11. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    Song Surgeon slow downer. https://tinyurl.com/y5dcuqjg
    See that tiny camera?.... No?....Good.:snaphappy:
     
    FilterFunk likes this.
  12. Pictures or it didn’t happen! :hyper:
     
    JohnDeereJack, D M C and murphy like this.
  13. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    Song Surgeon slow downer. https://tinyurl.com/y5dcuqjg
    I hope We can make an exception for this thread.:woot:
     
    Aberdumbie, Gaolee, D M C and 2 others like this.
  14. DavetheDude

    DavetheDude

    Nov 28, 2014
    Germany
    Captain Obvious :D

    e1f03919f3bb4dee90317d3c9ea0fa7b--doodles-funny-jokes.
     
    Crusher47 and Grumry like this.
  15. Grumry

    Grumry

    Jul 6, 2016
    Nashville
    Me: What would you like to eat for dinner, dear?
    Her: I don't know...
    Me: They don't sell that at the grocery store
     
  16. Whippet

    Whippet

    Aug 30, 2014
    I told an ex girlfriend ''I'm going to go shopping for clothes''

    She and her friends blurted in unison '' Shopping? or shopping shopping?''

    whatdafudge.... That was the moment when I knew that just something as simple and innocent as shopping for some socks and underwear could ruin your entire life and possibly the life of the next generation. As you have guessed by the first line. She became the ex and I cut ties with her shoppingshopping friends.
     
    mohrds likes this.
  17. dangnewt

    dangnewt Veteran Dispenser

    Jun 6, 2003
    MetroWest Boston
    You are a lucky man.
    By the way does the restaurant take cash? It's as good as money.
     
    slobake, JRA and Stumbo like this.
  18. Stumbo

    Stumbo Wherever you go, there you are. Supporting Member Commercial User

    Feb 11, 2008
    Song Surgeon slow downer. https://tinyurl.com/y5dcuqjg
    I use to carry a lot of change but I stopped because I like things to stay the same.
     
    slobake, Fretless1! and JRA like this.
  19. dangnewt

    dangnewt Veteran Dispenser

    Jun 6, 2003
    MetroWest Boston
    My wife seldom makes a direct request, so when she says - "those bushes are blocking the view of the chicken coop" it means "trim those bushes." If i want to get her going, I'll simply agree with her.
     
    Luciferiad, petrus61, DirtDog and 4 others like this.
  20. Lobster11

    Lobster11 Supporting Member Supporting Member

    Apr 22, 2006
    Williamsburg, VA
    I agree enthusiastically with everything my wife says -- not because we're so similar, but because we are so different.

    The difference between us is that she has a black belt in karate, a purple belt in jui-jitsu, and trains 4 days a week. I... don't.

    So, I agree enthusiastically with everything my wife says.
     
    mohrds, Fiset, catcauphonic and 4 others like this.

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