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Stuff you hate to hear a non-bassist say

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Oliphaunt, Jul 23, 2002.

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  1. HaroldBishop


    Jun 18, 2006
    Woman: So what instrument do you play?
    Me: Bass
    Woman: Bass Drum??

  2. ProfGumby


    Jan 15, 2007
    Michigan's U.P.
    (I know this original post is really old...but I had to comment....)


    Speaking as an American, if I were there when the kid said that to you, I'd have kicked him in the beans for you.....whatta jerk that salesman was!

    You're right, there seems to be one in every store. based on his age, let's hope he either wises up as he grows old, or gets a job mopping floors at the local McDonald's.....
  3. kumde


    Jun 17, 2006
    As I'm getting my bass out of my Ritter case, the guitarist says:
    "Man, that's a nice case. But one might be a little disappointed, expecting to find a fine instrument inside and seeing it's only a bass!"
  4. haloonpc


    Jan 7, 2007
    Laredo, Tx
    Bassist: Why is it that people don't notice the bass as much as the guitar?

    Ignorant Woman: Because the guitar has a cool tone to it, and the bass.... Well it's the bass.

    Bassist: What's that supposed to mean?!??

    Ignorant Woman: Whatever you want it to mean.
  5. the_dasonator


    Oct 19, 2006
    Not to brag or anything, but while playing RATM covers:

    Guitarist (to me): Turn up. We need more.

  6. The_D

    The_D Well, thats like your opinion. Man...

    Mar 20, 2004
    Fife, Scotland
    After a gig we played in December.

    Outside having a smoke after the gig,

    Some random dude in the corner:
    "You guys were awesome!"

    His friend to Adam (Guitarist)
    "Yeah I liked the guitars man"

    Random dude:
    "Yeah nice vocals too,
    Who was playing bass?"

    Yeah he was clearly enjoying the show, I was standing right in front of him lmao
  7. Lol, It's prob. been done before, but I thought of a fun line to use on someone:

    random person: so, bass must be easy huh? Only 4 strings...

    Me: (enthusiastically) yeah! Real easy, like the violin!

    Unfortunately, I play a ERB, so people are usually just like "woah, 6 string bass?"
  8. yeah i get that "whoa, thats not a guitar" (no s***) due to the four stings all the time
  9. Silver Hammer

    Silver Hammer

    Aug 17, 2006
    I got my first comment like this today (been playing for about 3 months). Well I go to a trade school and I was in shop today (commercial art) and this girl was talking about how she supposedly sings and wants to start a band (never heard her) so I told her I played bass and everyone around us heard me. She said she knew a guitarist but still needed a drummer and bassist. I said "Whatever you do don't get a guitarist to be your bassist its totally different" and this girl butted in and said "No its not you just play root notes" :scowl:
  10. Lalabadie

    Lalabadie Guest

    Jan 11, 2007
    Random graphics design co-student.

    "Man, this huge guitar with huge strings make you look PIMP"

    And my friend to whom I talked about the disadvantages of using only a 15 inch driver.

    "Why would you want treble anyways? Don't you play bass?"
  11. kydnav


    Jun 24, 2006
    When I was doing the finish on my bass this guy that was just hanging around came to me and said that he could play any instrument he could find and that he was better at playing bass than I am because he's a guitar player...
    I wanted to hand him a bass that very moment and hit him in the nuts...:mad:
  12. CoDBassPlayer


    Oct 30, 2006
    You should've. Then totally showed him up with groove-holding abilities only a bassist can have.

    EDIT: reminds me of the time I handed my bass to the guitarist and he said he couldn't 'shred' without a bassist or some beat. So i went "BOOM BOOM BOOM" into my hands. He still sucked and was off time, but funny nonetheless.
  13. My friend, when I was playing my other friends guitar as a joke and then told him I play bass:

    Me: Yeah, I play bass usually. Guitar just isn't my thing.

    Friend: Dude, guitar is harder because you have to play chords. They look pretty hard.

    I was about ready to punch him.
  14. Discount Saint

    Discount Saint Bassist for the music in my head Supporting Member

    Jan 26, 2007
    Victoria, BC, Canada
    The bulk of my experience has been in the context of church worship bands -- a singularly uninspiring venue, for someone who really wants to be playing heavy alternative rock and industrial stuff (thankfully I've extricated myself from that, and joined two good bands), but it has been a big contributor to my learning how to hold my own. Though I still feel like a crappy bassist much of the time.

    But the thing that ALWAYS crapped in my Kornflakes was the pastor or some old deacon telling me I'm too loud. This of course, coming from the old folks who like to sit in the back, underneath the balconey where all the bass gets trapped. Try suggesting that they move to different seats - no dice. They prefer crappy sound to having to change where they sit, apparently.

    Then there is my wife, who informed me a couple of years ago that she has never been able to hear bass at all. I would put on a drum and bass CD and she still couldn't pick out the bass line, until I tapped her arm along with it.

    On a positive note, I was asked to play with the church youth band for the youth group's New Year's all-nighter concert, basically playing covers of U2, Coldplay and Delirious, and they were so proud to be playing with me. One person in the audience yelled out "RYAN, I LOVE YOU! HAVE MY BABY!" .. hahaha.
  15. ProfGumby


    Jan 15, 2007
    Michigan's U.P.
    In a Church setting??? That's wrong on so many levels! At least she didn't have to walk too far to confess.....:rolleyes:

    BTW, with your worship band background, have you ever considered blending the message with the music you prefer?
  16. Discount Saint

    Discount Saint Bassist for the music in my head Supporting Member

    Jan 26, 2007
    Victoria, BC, Canada

    Haha, yeah, the youth there are a goofy bunch - I didn't actually hear this mind you, my wife reported this after the concert. She was watching it from the balconey with an older male friend of ours, whose response to the shouted comment was "I suppose it would be inappropriate to throw my underwear on-stage, eh?"

    As for blending the message with the music - that has always really been my goal, and unfortunately there is just no way to do that in a church context, as Churches are far too dependent on pointless traditions and conventions to dare allow loud rock music to be played during the regular church service. A pity.

    The bands I'm playing with now do provide the opportunity to do this though, as I've been tasked with doing some lyric writing for both bands, and have been attempting to include my own spiritual spin on life into what I've been writing.

    That's brings to mind another thing that I hate hearing non-bassists say (or in this case non-musicians):

    "That music doesn't sound very Christian to me."

    Can I kill you now? I guess that wouldn't be very Christian of me either....
  17. ProfGumby


    Jan 15, 2007
    Michigan's U.P.


    Yup, it's the devils music I tell ya...makes those wimmens go banana's and want to have musician's babies!:D ;) :D

    As to killing them, would "here's your sign" be more Christian?

    Which somehow brings me to my favorite non bassist tripe... "playing bass is so much easier, after all there are only 4 strings..."

    How I didn't punch her in the troat, I'll never know....:confused:
  18. Discount Saint

    Discount Saint Bassist for the music in my head Supporting Member

    Jan 26, 2007
    Victoria, BC, Canada

    I know what you mean.. there's nothing quite so disillusioning about playing at an outdoor community festival, nice, loud and even playing non-heavy contemporary Christian songs, and then afterwards over-hearing some old Church elder comment something to effect of "They could have stopped playing ten songs ago as far as I'm concerned"...

    ..and this from a guy who is a member of a gag-dummed barbershop quarter who held me captive trying to convince me to go to some barbershop convention in the states because he was sure there were some "pretty contemporary" groups going that I would surely enjoy.

    ACK! If I have to sit through an entire service of barbershop, the old people can surely sit through a little rock n' roll, ya know what I mean??!!

    Hey.. just got some pics in my email from that concert..


    There's me on my American Deluxe Fender Jazz V .. not sure the year or the specific model -- anyone help me out?
  19. alembicguy

    alembicguy I operate the worlds largest heavey equipment Supporting Member

    Jan 28, 2007
    My favorite saying from a non bass player is "is your singer married"?
  20. nudge


    Feb 1, 2007
    haha. That's my responce and i'm a 'lady'.
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