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Stupid questions

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous [DB]' started by jtlownds, Mar 1, 2008.

  1. jtlownds


    Oct 3, 2004
    LaBelle, FL
    One of the bands that I play with is a 6 piece dixieland band that is led by the worst clarinet player in southwest Florida. Somehow he gets some really fantastic players to play with him. He recently booked a restaurant gig for tomorrow. They didn't want to spring for the 6 piece group, so he booked it as a trio. (piano, bass & clarinet) He recently discovered that I am also a guitarist, and asked if I would double on guitar too. I'm not too crazy about that, but he's writing the checks, so I agreed. Today I get a call from him to verify that I can find the place, and to tell me that it's a restaurant gig and they want us to keep the volume down. He then states that my amplifier can get really loud and asks if I have a smaller (quieter) amp that I can bring to the gig!!!!!! I'm sorely tempted to say "Tony, there is a new invention out that you may not be aware of - It's called a volume control knob." But, I just bite my tongue, and tell him that I can just turn it down. I've had some really stupid requests from patrons before, but this was the stupidest request that I have ever gotten from a fellow musician
  2. Jazz Ad

    Jazz Ad Mi la ré sol Supporting Member

    I used to play with a keyboard guy for pop covers.
    He once asked me to use a baritone sax on my bass because it would sound better for the song.
    I didn't even bother explaining him that I couldn't change sounds just by pressing a button.
  3. On of my Jazz band (auditionless) for a my high school asked me "is this song swung eighths?" It was a blues.
  4. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    One time on a cruise ship gig, we had a good band of young-ish players, all aspiring jazz lions (this was awhile ago ;)) Of course, the average age of a cruise ship audience is "deceased". So, every week, the cruise director would read the comment cards from the guests at a meeting. One such card read simply, "The band should be older". After a few moments of silence, the bandleader replied, "We promise.... by next week's meeting, the band will be older".
  5. Sam Sherry

    Sam Sherry Inadvertent Microtonalist Supporting Member

    Sep 26, 2001
    Portland, ME
    Euphonic Audio "Player"
    Somebody at an NYE function asked for our business card . . . so that they could rip it up in our faces.

    Somebody hired our free-improv band for their club. We walked in and started setting up. When the house realized Mr. Flaherty was onboard for the evening they sacked us . . . before we had played a single note!
  6. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    Hah! Now that's free jazz.....
  7. jtlownds


    Oct 3, 2004
    LaBelle, FL
    Marcus' comment about the average age of cruise ship patrons being "deceased", and Sam's band getting dissed, reminded me of a nursing home gig I played. We had a standing gig at this nursing home every 4th of July. I arrived and took the elevator to the 4th floor where we were playing. It stopped on the 3rd floor, and a little 90 + year old lady with a walker step in. Then she spotted me standing there with my bass, and got right in my face and yelled "GAWD DAMMIT, every 4th of July you A$$HOLES show up and ruin my lunch. I've got 2 hearing aids, and I'm taking the batteries out of both of them". The gig went pretty well, but obviosly not everyone enjoyed it.
  8. Damon Rondeau

    Damon Rondeau Journeyman Clam Artist Supporting Member

    Nov 19, 2002
    Winnipeg, baby
    Geez, I've played a few nursing home jobs, too...

    I remember one where I had just gotten my foot in the door, hauling my bass. A little old guy raced up to me and demanded to know if I was in the musician's union.
  9. The day after my band played a packed Concertgebouw in Amsterdam we played a local dinner party for some rich folks. We arrived early and set ourselves up on one side of the room and waited for guests to arrive. One of the early guests was a tall distinguished gentleman who began chatting me and the guitarist up a bit. We had a few laughs and were having a good time when he suddenly interrupted me and said "oh, are you guys with the band?" at which we said "yes" and he promptly walked away. We were thoroughly ignored that night just 24 hours after our triumph at the famous hall. I still refer to it as "Black Thursday".
  10. Uncletoad


    May 6, 2003
    Columbus Ohio
    Proprietor Fifth Avenue Fret Shop. Technical Editor Bass Gear Magazine
    It's nice to know that kind of attitude isn't just in LA or NYC.
  11. Marcus Johnson

    Marcus Johnson

    Nov 28, 2001
    One time I had a concert on O'ahu, and I was packing my little NS Bass Cello along, catching a flight back home to Maui. As it turned out, the great reggae band Burning Spear was on the same flight, so I chatted with them for awhile while we waited in the terminal. We all boarded together, and I tossed the bass into the overhead and sat down next to an older woman. She checked me out and said "are you with the band?", and I just started cracking up. I said, "I'm with a band... but not this one!" I think she was trying trying to figure out how this little balding middle aged white guy fit in with all these gigantic dreadlocked Rastas. :D

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