Subbing in for ex-band

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by powmetalbassist, Dec 14, 2012.

  1. powmetalbassist

    powmetalbassist Supporting Member

    So I quit my band a few months ago, hadn't really heard anything from them, finally started getting some peeps out of the guys online recently and rebuilt the friendship that may have been initially strained by my leaving the band.

    We hung out last saturday and they have a show this weekend. The BL asked if I wanted to sit in on a song, because they have not replaced the low end since I left and felt this one song (Iron Maidens - The Trooper) needs the low end. Not sure if I should accept it or not. I figure it can't hurt to sit in on one song.

    I guess I'm not sure if sitting in on one song is like going back to the ex-girlfriend for a quickie after you've broken up. Might bring up some ****. Plus I'm playing in another band now (its like cheating on them....haha!) but seriously.....insight, experience, carrots?
  2. It sounds pretty harmless if you've patched things up with them. I would just make sure they understand this is a one time thing and you're not looking to re-join or anything like that.
  3. Unless you have some sort of contract with your new
    band I'd say go for it. It's a song... Comparing that
    to a quickie with an old girlfriend is like trying
    to compare falling off a stool with jumping off
    a mountain.... Go for it... It's a song...
  4. In my last classic rock cover band, I would occasionally let the bassist before me sit in for a couple of songs.

    And when I resigned from the band, they would coerce me on stage for a couple of songs from time to time. When they were in between bass players, I subbed a few entire gigs.

    To me, it's a feel-good proposition, and I'm glad we remained good enough friends to allow for that. I mean, this is a cover band, right? It's not like anyone's territory is being threatened over a song or two.

    However, I'm one of those anal-retentives who doesn't share my guitars. You can sit in on my gig, just bring your own axe.
  5. pklima


    May 2, 2003
    Kraków, Polska
    I played a one-off gig not long ago with a band I had quit two and a half years ago. Went OK, and I did manage to make it very clear to the singer that I will not be talked into coming back permanently no matter what, because I'm busy enough playing things I like better with other bands.

    So, yeah, make it clear whether you have any interest in rejoining or not. Maybe before you can make it clear to the band you need to make it clear to yourself first. It is a bit like an ex-gf, really.
  6. jaywa


    May 5, 2008
    Iowa City, IA
    Heck I've played about a dozen gigs as a sit-in with the band I left 2 and a half years ago. Whole 4-hour gigs, not just a song or two. Just did one with them a couple weeks ago, in fact.

    It's no big deal if you guys are all still friends and everyone understands it's not a permanent thing.
  7. I also sub for a band that I left years ago, and I always enjoy it. I don't see any reason not to do it, especially if it helps renew your friendship with these guys. The music world is small one, and you might end up working with one of these people again, so help them out for sure.
  8. Floyd Eye

    Floyd Eye Banned

    Feb 21, 2010
    St. Louis
    If these are covers I see no harm in it. If your new band is an original band you might do well to talk to them about it before hand.
  9. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Would you go to the gig if you weren't going to play in it?

    If you wouldn't, is it worth sitting through the gig to play just one song?

    I guess what I'm saying is that if you'd enjoy going there as an audience member, may as well have some fun and get up to play a tune. If you wouldn't enjoy the evening otherwise, I'd say it doesn't seem worth it.
  10. ChrisB2

    ChrisB2 Bass... in your fass

    Feb 27, 2008
    TalkBass > Off Topic
    Do you want to do it? Just do what you want, if yes, then do it, if no, then don't.

    I see no comparison to cheating on someone whatsoever. Being in a band is not the same as being in a romantic relationship.

    Sorry, no offense but I don't get that last part at all. If you signed some kind of contract agreeing not to play with other bands, I guess, but otherwise... why in the world would the other band have any say in this matter??? And what difference does it make if it's "originals"?? :confused:
  11. sobie18


    May 5, 2002
    Shaw AFB, SC
    I love Iron Maiden and I love quickies with an ex. I would do it.
  12. jive1

    jive1 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    I think I have filled in or sat in with just about every band that I have quit or been fired from.
  13. Passinwind

    Passinwind I Know Nothing Supporting Member Commercial User

    Dec 3, 2003
    Columbia River Gorge, WA.
    Owner/Designer &Toaster Tech Passinwind Electronics
    Same here.
  14. morgansterne

    morgansterne Geek U.S.A.

    Oct 25, 2011
    Cleveland Ohio
    I just gave my bandmates the word that I didn't have any desire to be a "full member" anymore and be expected to contribute to promotion and have a say in song selection. Just pay me a flat fee for the gig and I'll do my utmost to make the band sound awesome.
    But we have eight gigs booked already for next year so it may be a bit awkward! Good to know other folks have been in that situation and it works out ok.
  15. amimbari


    May 6, 2008
    Pittsburgh, PA
    I have a hour gig at the HardRock here in Pitts next Friday with my x-band I havent been in for a year and a 1/2 because their bassplayer is out of town. It is ALWAYS fun to jam with old friends, even if you got fired - which I did.

    None of them including me was mad when it happened after the " **** you session " because it was plain and simple, I was not what they were looking for.
  16. Wait so they didn't get a new bass player, so playing a gig without one but want you to haul all your gear and set up just to play one song? Wouldn't it make more sense to either have you sit in for the whole gig, or just NOT play the one song that needs bass?
  17. derrico1

    derrico1 Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2005
    Charlottesville, VA
    Judging by the gear in the OP's sig line, he travels light.
  18. powmetalbassist

    powmetalbassist Supporting Member

    yeah just made the switch to light gear recently. The deal is the guitarist (who has way too much gear for a guitarist) would bring his bass, (hopefully set up properly) and plug in straight to the PA.

    If I had to haul my gear (even the light weight rig I got now) I'd be expecting cash up front for the time and effort to haul and setup/tear down gear.

    This might be fun...we'll see how it goes. was intending on going to the show anyway...hang out, chill, etc.
  19. BBox Bass

    BBox Bass Supporting Member

    Apr 2, 2011
    NW Pennsylvania
    A few years ago, I quit a band because I got burned out and was sick of all the drama the rhythm guitarist was causing. I was still on good terms with the rest of them.

    After I left, the band went through about 3 bassists and last January they fired the guitarist when they finally got fed up with his garbage. In March, the remaining guitarist called to ask if I would sub for their current bassist, who was having health problems. I reluctantly said yes, and was pleasantly surprised at how well things went. The interpersonal dynamics were much improved and playing with only one guitarist presented a new challenge for me. The bassist's health problems worsened, and a month later they asked me back for good. I accepted, and so far it's been fine.

    To the OP, I'd suggest giving it a shot. If things go well, great. If not, you thank them for asking you back, then move on.
  20. If it was me going along intending to play one song they would have zero difficulty twisting my arm to play the rest of the songs too. If that happens it puts you in a bit of a spot come the next show. Almost like you have to quit the band all over again.