Super Funny- How to break up with your cyber relationship

I got this in an email a minute ago..

wow.. this is funny. I actually know people like this.


Having an unpleasant Online Affair?
Here's your cyber-break up letter !

Dear [insert screen name here] (if that is your real name),
I regret to inform you that, under a plan for the periodic removal of
unpleasantness from my life, I must terminate our online affair. This termination
takes effect immediately, but only because I could not make it retroactive.
Below, you will find the reasons for this action:

_____ While our cyberlove sessions were, for the most part, competent, your
constant use of "brb gotta pee" took some of the romance out of it.

_____ Your use of the term "the ol' cyber ball and chain" to refer to me
has hurt my feelings.

_____ I've found another lover, one who knows the importance of
punctuation.

_____ Certain errors during cyber sessions indicate that you were less than
honest:

__ You typed: "I remove my bra" when you claimed to be a man.

__ You typed: "I *too suggestive* you" when you claimed to be a woman.

__ You typed your own name at the end.

__ Your supposedly original scenario, it turns out, is simply page 56 of a
Jackie Collins novel.

__ Your repeated references to animals suggest that you are hiding
something from me.

__ Your refusal to cyber until I submitted a recent AIDS test suggests a
degree of paranoia that is, simply put, unhealthy.

__ I finally opened the file with your __ gif __ jpg __ police record.

__ I have no choice but to comply with the court orders unless I wish to
face stalking charges.

__ Mommie says I need to spend less time on the computer.

__ Your mommie called me and yelled at me because of all the time you're
spending on the computer.

__ I have established a more personal relationship with the Lord, and I
would like to talk to you in great detail about what you can do to ensure a place
in Heaven when the end times come. They are closer than you think.

___ The fact that you BCC all your love letters to me leaves me feeling
less than special. As in cyber cheating.

___ I finally read your profile, and the fact that you are only 14 violates
the terms of my parole.

___ I am entering the witness protection program.

Please understand, __ [screen name] and/or __ you misbegotten son of a
b****__ sir/madam __ Mom/dad, that there is nothing
personal in this. We've simply grown apart.

Any additional correspondence you may direct to my attorney,

__ Sincerely,

__ Gleefully,

__ I have to go before the warden calls "lights out,"

__ Uh oh, my Real Life mate is coming up the stairs,

__ Good riddance,

 

haha... =X

Yeah its sposed to be a joke man.. just a stupid way to end a relationship =X