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Super Funny- How to break up with your cyber relationship

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Stupidnick, Jul 18, 2003.

  1. Stupidnick


    Mar 22, 2002
    ...my room...
    I got this in an email a minute ago..

    wow.. this is funny. I actually know people like this.

    Having an unpleasant Online Affair?
    Here's your cyber-break up letter !

    Dear [insert screen name here] (if that is your real name),
    I regret to inform you that, under a plan for the periodic removal of
    unpleasantness from my life, I must terminate our online affair. This termination
    takes effect immediately, but only because I could not make it retroactive.
    Below, you will find the reasons for this action:

    _____ While our cyberlove sessions were, for the most part, competent, your
    constant use of "brb gotta pee" took some of the romance out of it.

    _____ Your use of the term "the ol' cyber ball and chain" to refer to me
    has hurt my feelings.

    _____ I've found another lover, one who knows the importance of

    _____ Certain errors during cyber sessions indicate that you were less than

    __ You typed: "I remove my bra" when you claimed to be a man.

    __ You typed: "I *too suggestive* you" when you claimed to be a woman.

    __ You typed your own name at the end.

    __ Your supposedly original scenario, it turns out, is simply page 56 of a
    Jackie Collins novel.

    __ Your repeated references to animals suggest that you are hiding
    something from me.

    __ Your refusal to cyber until I submitted a recent AIDS test suggests a
    degree of paranoia that is, simply put, unhealthy.

    __ I finally opened the file with your __ gif __ jpg __ police record.

    __ I have no choice but to comply with the court orders unless I wish to
    face stalking charges.

    __ Mommie says I need to spend less time on the computer.

    __ Your mommie called me and yelled at me because of all the time you're
    spending on the computer.

    __ I have established a more personal relationship with the Lord, and I
    would like to talk to you in great detail about what you can do to ensure a place
    in Heaven when the end times come. They are closer than you think.

    ___ The fact that you BCC all your love letters to me leaves me feeling
    less than special. As in cyber cheating.

    ___ I finally read your profile, and the fact that you are only 14 violates
    the terms of my parole.

    ___ I am entering the witness protection program.

    Please understand, __ [screen name] and/or __ you misbegotten son of a
    b****__ sir/madam __ Mom/dad, that there is nothing
    personal in this. We've simply grown apart.

    Any additional correspondence you may direct to my attorney,

    __ Sincerely,

    __ Gleefully,

    __ I have to go before the warden calls "lights out,"

    __ Uh oh, my Real Life mate is coming up the stairs,

    __ Good riddance,
  2. Hehehe i found that funny...

    what? Why is everyone looking at me... so what i am the only one to reply!



  3. Don't worry Merls, we still lurb j00!

    Good read.. mwuahahaha

    IM FREE AGAIN! Oh,..er... uh.. yeaa....

    :eek: :D
  4. mans0n


    Jun 15, 2002

    i am not laughing!!

    and really... this letter would be horribly insufficient to end a relationship on the net ;-)
  5. Stupidnick


    Mar 22, 2002
    ...my room...
    haha... =X

    Yeah its sposed to be a joke man.. just a stupid way to end a relationship =X
  6. Hmm it wouldnt surprise me if i used one of those lines when i eneded a internet thing a few years ago.....


  7. stuie86


    May 9, 2003
    mckinney, tx

    i should use that letter.

    .......opps the cats out of the bag:bawl: :confused:

    i kid:p

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