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Survival of the fittest M&M's

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by duo8675309, Jun 15, 2007.

  1. duo8675309


    Jun 5, 2005
    (from someone who definitely has too much time on their hands)

    Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to
    continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a
    species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

    Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply
    pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and
    splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one
    immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

    I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are
    tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I
    have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive
    long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern
    candy and snack-food world.

    Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is
    misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost
    invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare
    occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the
    species continues to adapt to its environment.

    When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the
    strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat
    this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it
    to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ
    17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use
    this M&M for breeding purposes."

    This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon
    for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this
    "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand
    tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the
    True Champion.

    Original Site

    There can be only one.
  2. dinghy


    May 27, 2007
    Saratoga, CA
    + Infinity.
  3. Baryonyx

    Baryonyx Inactive

    Jul 11, 2005
    Marathon Man
    I just eat them, like an all-encompassing apocalypse.
  4. labgnat

    labgnat Inactive

    Oct 29, 2005
    outta this world
    now they have dark chocolate m&m's i needs to try some
  5. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    In the old days of lifeguarding before I wrote a 16 page manifesto on having a radio in the lifeguard tower, we were forced to do things in order to pass the time and to stay awake. Many antics as you might imagine, but one of them was to open a pack of M&M's. M&M's only. Skittles melt. Then you would count how many you have in a pack and then estimate what time you would be off. Usually you would try to work an 8 hour shift. Then divide that time by the number of M&M's and eat 1 M&M every say 6 minutes (usually it was about 7-9 minutes depending on when you start). Good times.
  6. vinny


    Apr 3, 2006
    Las Vegas, NV.
    They're my new fave & dark choco is supposed to be healthier:bassist:
  7. MonetBass

    MonetBass ♪ Just listen ♫ Supporting Member

    Sep 15, 2006
    Tulsa, OK
    So now we must know: which are stronger, dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

    I prefer dark chocolate for eating, but it would be an interesting experiment.
  8. JoshD


    Nov 9, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    I do this often too.:hyper:
  9. Jazzin'

    Jazzin' ...Bluesin' and Funkin'

    Smarties are better. But Smarties doesn't make all the different varieties like peanut, peanut butter, etc... Those M&M peanut and peanut butter ones are the best ones.
  10. wdinc01


    Nov 19, 2005
    Jacksonville, FL
    I actually do this with Robin Eggs whenever Easter comes around.
  11. peaveyuser

    peaveyuser Inactive

    Oct 18, 2006
    They have smarties peanut now and smarties are better.
  12. Jazzin'

    Jazzin' ...Bluesin' and Funkin'


    Where can I find these?
  13. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

    Jan 21, 2021

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