Switching bands

Be upfront with your mates, and then leave. Or play in both bands. But talk to them first and let them know what's going on

 

Play in both. You WILL improve faster.

After a while, it will become obvious to you which band to leave. Be up-front with both bands from the outset.

 

What everyone else said. Do both as long as it's possible.

 

Two bands and a day job can be done. It's a lot of juggling, but it's worth it. Heck, three bands and a day job can be done. That requires a patient wife. Good luck!

 

I actually met my new personal hero at a local blues gig the other day. Horn player, used to tour with BB King back in the day, still makes his living solely from doing gigs and the occasional horn repair/rebuild here and there. I got to bend his ear a little bit after the gig, and I learned that he is in no less than 11 somewhat-regularly-gigging bands, not including his commitments arranging tunes for the choir at church. I thought I was crazy at 4+ groups, but this cat has his you-know-what DOWN. Super nice guy, but his overall message was, "If you want to do this lifestyle, you have to WORK. That means always know every tune requested, never turn down paying work, and always be ready to pack up and hit the road at the drop of a hat" (I'm paraphrasing here, but that was the gist of it). It's super cool to know that there are folks out there who can operate at such a high level, it gives me something to shoot for in my own struggle to make a living 'just off my axe'.

 

If you plan to play in bands for the rest of your life, you will have to get used to initiating changes that sometimes ruffle feathers and/or leave you feeling depressed for a while. Sometimes you will quit good bands to join a terrible situation. Try not to burn bridges, and as suggested, try to play with both bands for a while to see what happens.

 

Make sure you tell the band you are with that you are considering doing both gigs. See how they react. The reaction of the first group's leader/members will provide important information in your overall decision.

 

Are you playing in a band to make money and good music (job)? Then second band. If it is just an excuse for social interaction (for fun)? Band one.

 

A band should be more than the sum of its members, or else it's only a hobby. The focus for everyone should be the music: The songs, the rehearsals, the gigs and the recordings. It should ideally be understood by all that the project is independent from their personal lives. Just as with your job, if you are friends with your colleagues it's a big plus. But if they stop doing what they're there for, it doesn't work and everybody pays for it.
I've been in a few bands over the years, always with very talented musicians whom I've called my friends. Whenever I've quit one, it was always when I realized that the personal lives of other members ended up invading the rehearsal room too much. Either they had attitude problems, sometimes addiction to drugs/alcohol, or more recently a band leader who was manic-depressive and so every time it seemed we were about to take off, everything would fall to pieces and she would stop showing up at rehearsals and things like that.
What I'm trying to say is if what you want is to play music, then you want to join with the more serious project, more so than trying to be loyal out of friendship. Friendship is friendship, music is music.

 

its called show business not show friends. sounds like you have made your mind up already anyways all you are looking for is validation