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Talking yourself out of a new band

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by EddiePlaysBass, Jan 13, 2017.

  1. EddiePlaysBass


    Feb 26, 2009
    I recently approached a singer I know, to start a new project. In no time he found a few guitarists and some drummers. We agreed to get together with one of those guitarists (at the singer's house) just to talk about what our ideas and goals for the band are. Singer also invites one of the drummers he had in mind.

    In the 10 minutes between my arrival and the guitarist's, this drummer had already talked my ears off. Every time anyone asked a question to anyone, the drummer replied. At one point he asks the guitarist who his favourite drummer is (Virgil Donati) and then proceeds to pound on mr Donati, explaining how Terry Bozzio has a much better style and invented this and that beat and what has Donati ever done? Guitarist asks me what kind of bass I have, and even THERE this guy (whom I met 20 minutes prior) pitches in!

    Drummer went to the loo and the guitarist went: "Geez, this guy won't shut up!" We told him: "No weekly rehearsals" and he kept insisting we rehearse weekly for at least a year. Guitarist told us that location X is too far, and he kept insisting on location X ... In truth, after a while we tried to ignore him.

    When the guitarist and drummer left, I stayed behind. Both the singer and myself agreed that we definitely want to try out the guitarist (he's blatantly honest: "I don't want a second guitarist cos I am incredibly selfish") but the drummer really talked his way out of this project. It's very likely that he is incredibly good. I just really don't want to be in a band with him, regardless of his skill level :D
  2. Vines


    Mar 31, 2016
    Doubtful. Anyone that talks that much isn't good at much else. Good idea passing on this guy.
    Thumb n Fingers and Gluvhand like this.
  3. I tend to agree. Guys like this have kept me from joining bands because their hands/feet couldn't back up their mouths.
    Thumb n Fingers likes this.
  4. Thumb n Fingers

    Thumb n Fingers

    Dec 15, 2016
    Nothing good can come of having him around if everyone else already feels the same as you. Drop back and punt. There are lots of good drummers out there to be found that aren't opinionated Chatty Cathys.

    Just my opinion,
    Chatty Cathy.
    kesslari and byoung93888 like this.
  5. buldog5151bass

    buldog5151bass Kibble, milkbones, and P Basses. And redheads.

    Oct 22, 2003
    The drummer sounds like a mistake waiting to happen, but frankly, so does the guitarist ("I'm incredibly selfish"). That does not sound like a musician with whom I would want to play.
    byoung93888 likes this.
    (actually works here in this case)
    Kun2112, kesslari and Joe Nerve like this.
  7. Joe Nerve

    Joe Nerve Supporting Member

    Oct 7, 2000
    New York City
    Endorsing artist: Musicman basses
    LOL and yes.
  8. morgansterne

    morgansterne Geek U.S.A.

    Oct 25, 2011
    Cleveland Ohio
    I think I did this to myself on one occasion, just out of nerves.
    Tari and bassbully like this.
  9. bassbully

    bassbully Endorsed by The PHALEX CORN BASS..mmm...corn!

    Sep 7, 2006
    Blimp City USA
    Heck I'm a talker always will be but I'm respectful of others opinions and tastes.
  10. IDK, that's a tough call.
    Is it better to work with jerk that has mad skills or a really nice person that lacks skills? or neither?
    Nice guys do finish last.

    I never advocate noodling between songs but......
    One of the best drummers I work with, when he's not playing, will talk incessantly and
    it's usually mundane topics or bad jokes that inevitably end with the classic drum 'rim shot' .
    I practice scales or noodle aimlessly between songs to keep his talking at bay.
    Weird thing is, at gigs you'll hardly hear a peep out of him.
  11. I'll take an average musician who works hard and is a team player type over some self absorbed virtuoso every time. If they're not more about the end product than they're about themselves it will ultimately end badly which is a total waste of time. Sure a certain skill level is required but let's be honest here. Most popular music of whatever genre doesn't require virtuosity to do well. I'd much rather have to work at it a bit than put up with a bunch of ego crap.
  12. 40Hz

    40Hz Supporting Member

    I'd be more concerned about that guitarist.

    Doesn't want another guitarist because he's jealous selfish? Seriously?

    What kind of a jerk announces, right up front, he's a jerk like that?

    Answer: a real jerk.

    I'd lose that guy pronto.

    Last edited: Jan 18, 2017
  13. EddiePlaysBass


    Feb 26, 2009
    Well, he said selfish and not jealous but I get your drift :) I found it refreshing, and his explanation actually made a lot of sense. Plus, I think I did not mention this before, he knows a keys player who he's worked with often who would probably be able to step in and join in no time, if and when we'd get this up and running.

    I know the town where this guitarist lives, and given that location + his background, I have enough context to place his comment in. And if it turns out he's an ***wipe, I can always fire him or quit the band I started :)
  14. 40Hz

    40Hz Supporting Member

    Yikes! My bad. I corrected my earlier post. Thx. <redface>
  15. M0ses


    Sep 11, 2009
    Los Angeles
    As a bass player, I don't want a second guitarist, either. Selfish of me? Perhaps. I just think they more often than not muddy up the sound, making it harder to hear what I'm doing, or anyone is doing, and don't add anything.

    That's not really on topic so I'll try to get back on.

    I once had an audition where we sat around and chatted for a while after I played for them, and near the end they kept asking me things like "So how do you feel?" "What do you think?" Stuff like that. It wasn't until I got home and emailed them the next day that I realized that was their way of saying "You're in the band, if you want in." Here I was thinking that if they had made up their minds about me so quickly, they would have said so.

    Turns out that was red flag #1, they wanted me to come out and say "Golly gee I'd sure love to have the privilege of being in this band!!!!!!!!111!!11!" I was fired a few months later for not being "into" it enough, even though I never missed a rehearsal, gig, or even band meeting...

    So basically I talked my way out of that one by not talking enough, or something.
    Jimmy4string and EddiePlaysBass like this.
  16. EddiePlaysBass


    Feb 26, 2009
    Actually, I get that. Both from your POV and the guitarist's. Years back I played in a blues band with two guitarists and they really worked out their parts. "You play this chord, I will harmonize here / play that chord over it. You play this rhythm, I will play that." Same with solo's. And they still managed to leave ample space for the bass :)

    Two years ago I played in a band with two guitars and keys (in addition to drums and 2 singers). Barely room for any bass at all, other than very rootsy playing. In fact, to this day I wonder why they needed bass other than "because".

    I miss that blues band ...
  17. JRA

    JRA my words = opinion Supporting Member

    i've been lucky enough to play with some incredibly good drummers/musicians, but the ones who were "experts in training" were the most difficult to both play with and hang with. it was always a pleasure to see them go. for me: this is one of those 'life is too short' issues. on some level: you have to want to be in the same room with the others.
  18. guy n. cognito

    guy n. cognito Secret Agent Member Supporting Member

    Dec 28, 2005
    Nashville, TN
    I've played with one drummer that talked so much that I refuse to hire him. He literally can't shut up....even DURING a song. He's a decent drummer, not great, so I have no issues avoiding him when the need arrises.

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