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Telemarketers: How to Stop Them?

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by ::::BASSIST::::, Mar 17, 2009.

  1. ::::BASSIST::::

    ::::BASSIST:::: Progress Not Perfection.

    Sep 2, 2004
    Vancouver, BC Canada
    A few months ago I registered on Canada's National 'do not call' list thinking that would reduce the number of telemarketer calls my house gets. It worked quite well for about 6 weeks. Suddenly in the last month or so, I have been getting 5 to 10 calls a day from telemarketers and it is really driving my family nuts. I had a friend over for dinner tonight and he told me that apparently what happened is that some unscrupulous SOB went to the Canadian National 'do not call' list and copied all the numbers and sold them. Because its a government document apparently its open to the general public to view. Oh, the irony.:mad:

    So now I've got all these telemarketers calling and I don't know what to do about it. Even if I answer the phone and tell them to take me off their list, its likely that are many many companies with my number... so that wont work. I have call display, but still have to walk over to the ph to see who it is. The only other option I can think of is to get a new number and have it unlisted, but I dont know how successful that would be.

    So what do you guys do to stop the telemarketers?
  2. bongomania

    bongomania Commercial User

    Oct 17, 2005
    PDX, OR
    owner, OVNIFX and OVNILabs
    Telemarketing offices nearly always have a policy that their callers are never to hang up on a potential customer. The idea is that no matter how bad the call gets, if the potential customer doesn't hang up, they might still come around if you butter them up sufficiently. So what I do is chant "blood... blood... blood... blood" until they eventually do freak out and hang up.

    Seems to work.
  3. L-A


    Jul 17, 2008
    Haha this is great :D

    The strategy I've come to use is to take something plastic and place it on the microphone while the telemarketer is calling. Then he/she will pause and say "hello?". I in turn answer "hi", and the he/she will say "Oh, I thought you hung up".

    I then say "No, it would have sounded this way" and hang up.
  4. David1234


    Jun 1, 2004
    Sydney, Australia
    Endorsing Artist: SWR Amplifiers
    They do it cause it's cheaper than buying a TV ad.

    So make it expensive for them.

    My friend used to play a competitive game. See how many points you can get making it expensive for them:

    +1 point for every minute you keep them on the phone
    +1 point for every question you get them to answer
    -1 point for every question they get you to answer
    +2 points for every time you escalate to their superior or their superior's superior
    +2 points if you can get them to hang up without abusing them

    I think he only ever got to 26 points. Post your scores!
  5. Dirk Diggler

    Dirk Diggler Supporting Member

    Mar 3, 2004
    Anytown USA
    My favorite trick is I have this little device called "the Wildly Noisy Wooden Thing" that someone gave me, it makes a horrible loud noise that makes a fax machine tone seem weak. A couple blasts of that seems to prevent future call backs quite well. :)
    Remember most of them have headsets on, so hit them where it hurts. LOL
    Also you can always be ready when you answer and then you hear a room sound of people at a call center, no sense in even talking, if they are so rude to use an auto dialer and not even really call you, they deserve whatever they get.
  6. MJ5150

    MJ5150 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    Apr 12, 2001
    Olympia, WA
    I chat with them until they hang up. Bring up a topic like religion or politics and that will get them off the phone.

  7. elgecko


    Apr 30, 2007
    Anasleim, CA
    I like to go into my Rain Man impression. "Yeah...definitely happy with my long distance company...I'm an excellent driver...yeah"
  8. ahkiatt


    Sep 30, 2006
    Make a lot of loud sounds(make your chair fall, bang the wall etc.), scream a lot and go: OH MY GOD IT'S COMING FOR ME... No get away, get away.

    Then scream like a little girl into the handset. Then let your creative juices flow.

    Telemarketer: Is everything okay?
    Me: I think I just killed her. Oh my god I killed her... Start sobbing
    *Telemarketer hangs up*

    Or make it seem like the dude just called a sex chat hotline. Gay ones tend to work better.

    You get how it goes...
  9. MakiSupaStar

    MakiSupaStar The Lowdown Diggler

    Apr 12, 2006
    Huntington Beach, CA
    So why would they buy numbers from someone copying numbers from a public document if they can just copy the numbers themselves? If it's public, surely they have the same access. :eyebrow:
  10. Best one came from my grandfather when someone rang a few months back:

    Telemarketer: Hello, this is ********* from ************. Can I speak to Mrs ***** (one of my family)?

    My granddad: Oh, right, so THAT'S who lives here!

    TM: Ah, so you are not Mrs ******?

    G: No, I'm just robbing the place.

    *hangs up*

  11. embellisher

    embellisher Holy Ghost filled Bass Player Supporting Member

    There you go, shooting holes into a neato conspiracy theory.
  12. ::::BASSIST::::

    ::::BASSIST:::: Progress Not Perfection.

    Sep 2, 2004
    Vancouver, BC Canada
    #1 - I dont want to scream or make a loud noise into their headset. The working stiff on the other end of the line is doing his job trying to pay his bills. Its his employer that upsets me. I remember one time in a place I used to work the manager was a real jerk. So one of my co-workers thought he'd get him back when he took a dump in the back of the toilet (ie the tank). I told him "Dude you think the manager is going to clean that? Its the poor janitor who will get that disgusting job." Same sort of situation here.

    #2 - I dont want to bother with the games (although they do seem fun :cool:) because I'm trying to be a role model to my four year old son... who watches everything I do incidently. The other part of it is that I mainly just dont want to waste my life on this kind of trivial nonsense. I find it very disrespectful of these companies to waste my time.
  13. ::::BASSIST::::

    ::::BASSIST:::: Progress Not Perfection.

    Sep 2, 2004
    Vancouver, BC Canada
    Good point. I dont know what's up for certian. Just that I am getting way too many calls and its a bit much. If it were a call every other day, I could live with that, but this is a minimum of 5 calls each day.
  14. Alcyon


    Jan 15, 2008
    Vancouver, BC
    My family always firmly asks to be removed from their list. Don't be rude, just be very firm and ask politely but insistently. This seems to work - we almost never get telemarketer calls, but then again, we are on Canada's DNC list...
  15. Skeletomania


    Oct 25, 2005
    hong kong
    How do you deal with charitable organizations? I donated once to the local fire fighter organization, and I'm suddenly on every one's list. I feel like a jerk for not helping a good cause, but I'm also fed up being treated like a piggy bank.
  16. Woodell


    Jan 13, 2009
    Newport News, VA
    If you want to help out a cause, donate directly to them. These callers are not policemen, firemen, etc. They are employees of companies who make thousands of call, giving very little to the charity that they "represent". Sure, the charity makes money out of sheer volume but your money is better spent being paid directly.

    You are on everyone's list because this company further profited by selling your confirmed-valid phone number to the next company who is going to call you for your money.

    Want to make a difference? Go donate blood or something similar.
  17. Vorago

    Vorago (((o)))

    Jul 17, 2003
    Antwerp, Belgium
    Sorry, not interested.

  18. If it's to the house phone:

    "Hello, is this ********"
    "Hello, yes it is. You're call is valued, please hold *puts down phone, puts some music on and walks away* "

    If it's to a mobile phone, tell them it's your work phone, well, only telemarketing I got to my mobile was asking to change my mobile phone provider, but it definatley worked in that case :) .

    Don't know if there are any Henry Rollins fans out there, but this could work pretty well (I can't find the video, so I'll paraphrase)

    "Hello, is this the home owner"
    "Hi, yes it is, what's your name"
    "I'm Steve and I'm here today to talk to you about . . . "
    Interupt, start coming onto them, start breathing heavily and asking them to shout your name
  19. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    With a last name like Von Porklipps I can spot a telemarketer a mile away. If they butcher my name, I either say "Nope, nobody by that name here." and hang up, or I say "Yeah, he was just here a minute ago, hang on while I go find him." Then I put the phone down and go do other stuff. I come back every 5 minutes or so to be sure they are still wasting their time and their employers money until they get sick of it and hang up. Some of those guys are pretty persistent!
  20. Testing123

    Testing123 Eschew obfuscation

    Jan 21, 2006
    Orange County, CA
    Tom Mabe had the same concerns re: telemarketers. He decided to turn lemons into lemonade. He recorded calls he received from telemarketers and had a little fun with them. Then, he made compellations of the calls, put them on CD's and sold them as comedy material. You can hear an example on YouTube here:

    (Standard disclaimer: I am in no way connected with him or any businesses he may be associated with.)

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