Telephone conversation I had yesterday

Discussion in 'Band Management [BG]' started by invader3k, Dec 30, 2013.

  1. (Note: Band practice was scheduled for 10 AM yesterday, and this guy had said he would be there when I spoke to him on Friday).

    9:20 AM, my phone rings. Our new lead singer calling.

    Singer: Hey man, how's it going?...I've been thinking...I don't think this is going to work out with the distance and everything.

    (Note #2: I had repeatedly asked him if the distance for him would be an issue, as he lives about an hour from our practice space. He swore up and down it wouldn't be, and that he was "really excited" to be part of our band).

    Me: That sucks. We have a gig in less than a month, as you know.

    Singer: Yeah...I feel really bad, but I decided I'm going to start my own thing. I can come to that gig and jam with you guys that night if you want. (Those were his exact words). I think I put my all into this thing and it's just not going to work out. (Note #3: He made exactly one practice after his audition...not exactly "giving your all" in my book. He missed one due to weather and one due to work...not his fault, but not "giving your all" IMHO.)

    Me: No...let's just save the drama. You go your ways and we'll go ours. I take it you weren't coming to practice today then?

    Singer: No, I wasn't planning on it...but I can do that gig if you need me to!

    Me: Uh-huh.

    Singer: Yeah...well, give me a call if you need anything. I feel really bad about this, but I need to do my own thing.

    Me: Yeah, I have your number. *click*

    Yeah, I was pretty gruff with him, but seriously? You know we have paying gigs coming up, said you were all on board, said you were going to be at practice, and then you quit less than an hour before practice time? F-U, buddy.

    Fortunately we already have another local singer lined up to audition this week, but this is putting us into a big time bind. I'd already negotiated a pay increase with the venue we're playing next, based on the fact we had this "new veteran singer" coming in. Put my reputation on the line for this bum, and this is what I get.

    I hate being the de facto band leader sometimes.
  2. fhm555

    fhm555 So FOS my eyes are brown Supporting Member

    Feb 16, 2011
    A ****** job no doubt, and a lot of work beyond making rehearsal and the job. It's why I wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole.
  3. Fender05


    Oct 20, 2008
    Replace "drummer" with "singer", and that's exactly what I've been dealing with, for far too long. Tonight, we're cutting ties. It sucks, but you gotta do what's best for the band.

    Good luck to ya, man.
  4. Pilgrim

    Pilgrim Supporting Member

    Flakes are everywhere. He probably had good intentions and woke up to reality MUCH too late...and then was an idiot about letting you know.

    Fortunately, singers may not be that hard to replace.
  5. FunkHead

    FunkHead Supporting Member

    Mar 10, 2007
    Stewartsville, NJ
    Good luck man. Good Dependable Singers can be the hardest piece of the puzzle to find. I hope you still rehearse and keep the positive attitude going. That's important.
  6. Kmonk


    Oct 18, 2012
    South Shore, Massachusetts
    Endorsing Artist: Fender, Spector, Ampeg, Curt Mangan Strings
    At least he had the decency to call. Some people would have done it by text or email or just stopped showing up. I think the OP could have handled it better and been more professional.
  7. Pretty much. I used to get a lot of auditions simply because the last bassist simply vanished.

    Then again, I just found out that I got replaced when I stumbled on the website that took 8 to complete. :eyebrow:
  8. FunkHead

    FunkHead Supporting Member

    Mar 10, 2007
    Stewartsville, NJ
    Took 8 what?
  9. Months.
  10. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    I've tried playing with bands a long drive away - just under an hour. They used to be 20 minutes away and then I had to move for my wife's work. It is a major con, and everything else about the band really has to be worth it to keep making that drive every week. Sometimes at first you think it's worth it, and then realize it isn't. One of my bands now has a keys player who's making that commute. He just moved to the state, and I think maybe didn't realize the distance when he signed up. I'm kind of waiting for him to ditch once he settles into a schedule, but we'll see. All of which is to say that I can get why he may be pulling out. Still, it sucks, and bagging on you 20 minutes before practice is a lame move. On the other hand, at least he didn't bag the week of the gig, and you've got a little time to get a sub in.
  11. This is how that conversation would have gone with me ~

    Singer: Hey man, how's it going?...I've been thinking...I don't think this is going to work out with the distance and everything.

    Me: Oh okay, then goodbye. click.
  12. Well, if the issue had been that cut and dried, I would have been the same way. However, I felt I needed to let him know and force him to acknowledge the bind he was putting me in, with having a paying gig less than a month away and now needing to scramble for a new lead vocalist.
  13. GlennW


    Sep 6, 2006
    Slip him a mickey.
  14. EddiePlaysBass


    Feb 26, 2009
    Yep, I am in one of those, too. I work abroad, in the Netherlands. It's only an hour away because the company is close to the Belgian border, so I make that commute every day. After I quit my blues band I figured it would be easier to find a band in the country where I work.

    Well ... It isn't :) When I am pulling a day shift at work, I have to stay the extra two hours (and overtime don't get compensated). When I have a day off on rehearsal day, I need to drive an hour to get to rehearsal. Whenever we have a gig that is "close by for the band" it's an additional hour away for me. And now they are talking of gigs in Germany, which is another half hour extra for me on top of the regular commute.

    Adding insult to injury, I totally misinterpreted some agreements which have been set in stone prior to my joining. In short, there's a band fund and not a lot of prospects of getting paid for gigs - which means this band is essentially costing me loads of time and money.

    The reason why I am staying is: I like the hang and I like the music. It's challenging. I am learning a lot, in terms of dynamics, control and when to overplay and when to tone it down. I wanted to take at least a year off from bands and gigging when I quit the blues band, to focus on improving my game and expanding my repertoire. Then this band came along, so I consider it a sort of interactive bass lesson :) I get to improve my game and expand my repertoire.

    If I had given it some more thought, I probably would have ultimately passed. Having committed, I want to see it through.
  15. WalterBush


    Feb 27, 2005
    Yuma, Az
    Full disclosure, I'm a certified Fender technician working in a music store that carries Fender, Yamaha, and Ibanez products among others.
    Breaking News: Musicians Found to be Flaky people with Severe Lack of Commitment!

    Said no reporter, ever.

  16. jgroh

    jgroh Supporting Member

    Sep 14, 2007
    Like the others here have said, it couldve been couldve been 20 minutes before the gig.
  17. Richland123


    Apr 17, 2009
    I have been fortunate that my bands have always been with musicians who are also lead singers.
  18. hrodbert696

    hrodbert696 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member

    That is the bottom line, really - are you getting something out of it that makes it worthwhile, a "pro" to offset the "con?" Some things are worth spending time and money on without worrying about getting it back - others not. In my case, of the two bands I decided to quit, one was a covers band that was starting to disintegrate anyway, the other was an originals project that I liked but was just taking forever to get anything done (two songs completed in about six months).
  19. Nagrom


    Mar 21, 2004
    Western Canada
    I went to pickup the drummer for a gig once. I stood there at his door while he told some story about how he felt a cold coming on and thought he'd better stay home so he didn't get to sick to go church the next morning.

    I'm going Huh? Quit joking around, it's time to go, let's load your drums. He wasn't joking.

    So I show up at the gig, the band walks out to greet me, saying where's ...... I tell them the story, they're like "quit joking around" looking around the parking lot for him.
    Took awhile to convince them.

    So we played with no drummer. What else could we do?
  20. Well, he already knew and I don't play those games.

    Anyway - good luck, and best wishes.