Tell your stories of people who jumped on stage - and how you got them off

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by azureblue, Jun 10, 2019.

  1. Mine - this drunk girl gets on stage and starts dancing and twerking. At just the right time in her posterior gyrations, he drummer leans over his kit and pokes her in the ass with a drum stick. Girl whoops and jumps straight up, and forward and off the stage. To the audience's applause.
  2. 2BitHack


    Nov 11, 2014

  3. Beej


    Feb 10, 2007
    Vancouver Island
    Usually I just ignore it unless they get too much in my space, such that I cant play. One time the same drunk guy got up in front of me 2x to turn and dance for his lady. He started to get up again and I reached out to him and puckered up like I was going to kiss him. His eyes went wide and he fell back off the stage n'er to try it again. :D
  4. OMG do I have stories. Not enough time right now. Stay tuned.
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  5. wraub


    Apr 9, 2004
    ennui, az
    ...........You do mean, "off the stage", correct?

    I'm just making sure...
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  6. Beej


    Feb 10, 2007
    Vancouver Island
    Dont worry, you can share your stories here. This is a safe space for sharing... :D
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  7. Edwcdc

    Edwcdc I call shotgun!

    Jul 21, 2003
    Columbia MD USA
    I have wrecked a few that have gotten too close. Just dudes though.
  8. Usually, unless they are being totally obnoxious, I just let them have a little fun. For the most part they police themselves. At a recent gig, one girl, a friend and what I call a "super fan' because she never misses a gig and dances to every song, got a little tipsy...ok a LOT tipsy, and kept asking to sing. Our guitar player is wireless, and was walking around the bar during the song. I noticed SuperFan inching her way toward the open mic stand, slowly and unobtrusively. When the chorus started, she started belting out the song with us! Afterward she asked "was I in key?". The bartender said "well, you tried to be in key so you had good intentions!"

    Another time, we were playing in the same bar, and toward the end of the night, a group of strippers came in. I forget what song we were playing, but two of them got up on stage, uninvited, and proceeded to dance. One of the girls came over and reached around and started playing my bass. I dont think she had ever played a bass before, but I didn't stop her. All clothing remained intact...

    We used to have a club manager that would just randomly walk up onto stage and start singing backup. He couldnt sing, but that didn't stop him. That always got me a little upset. He would just walk up to the closest mic and push the person out of the way. If it was my mic, I would let him sing a line or two, then I would kind of move into position and shoulder him out.

  9. lokikallas

    lokikallas Supporting Member

    Aug 15, 2010
    los angeles
    I’ve seen my drummer bean someone in the head with a stick who was doing drunken “backups”.
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  10. OK, here's the short version of my best story. I will drop no names.

    Was playing at a tourist type place back in the 80's where my band would set up for a couple of weeks at a time and do 5 nights a week during the summer. One night I noticed my band mates were excited to see someone walk in and sit down in front of us; I'm not a big football fan but once they said his name I recognized him as a well-known member of our local NFL franchise.

    Well, football dude was drunk. People were fawning all over him. He was reveling in his celebrity, so he decided to come up on the stage and stumble around.

    Bear in mind that, at the time, I was playing one of these:


    So, drunk celebrity football guy eventually makes his way to the side of the stage where I'm playing, gets behind me, and starts to move like he's going to wrap his arms around me in a rather unwelcome place. You can probably guess what happened next.

    Nope, I didn't actually hit the guy over the head with the aluminum headstock but I did move into defensive "my bass can double as a weapon" posture and threatened with my body language to bean the guy in the face if he got any closer. In front of several hundred people.

    I honestly don't remember if the bouncers "helped" him off the stage at that point or if he managed to stumble off on his own, but that was the end of that. If I recall correctly, the groove was never harmed during this incident.
  11. Bodeanly


    Mar 20, 2015
    Little kid jumped on stage this past weekend. His mother removed him before I had the chance to fight him.
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  12. ONYX


    Apr 14, 2000
    I usually just let this guy address the situation:

  13. In all the sleezy bars and gin joints I have never had this happen. I did want to push our Rythm guitar guy off the stage a couple of times -does that count?!
    But i don't like it
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  14. charlie monroe

    charlie monroe Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 14, 2011
    Buffalo, NY
    Whew. Got lucky.
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  15. Bodeanly


    Mar 20, 2015
    He looked crazy, man. Thought I was done for.
  16. Played a club many years ago that during the band breaks the club manager would come up on stage and start telling his very bad, I mean really bad, jokes. Well after one time we figured that if we just turned on the monitors, but turned off the "front of house" he wouldn't know the difference. It worked. I remember standing around the bar with the boys laughing our butts off as he thought he was the best and you couldn't hear him at all in the room. Big win for band!!!
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  17. dtripoli


    Aug 15, 2010
    Person # 1, The girl who never left the stage
    Girl in short mini skirt, boots, tight top and very soothing and easy on the eyes especially when she'd get into the the fast songs, She played tambourine and pretty much go-go danced the whole show. Anyway she sort of knew the singer so when she jumped up on stage and started dancing next to me I thought she was part of the band, I had just joined the band myself, so I didn't say anything. It was one of those things where everybody in the band thought someone else in the band invited her to do her thing. So she ended up dancing the whole night and not one guy left the bar once she was on stage. She shows up at every gig and and our tip jar has double since. Music and sex sales. And I'm in between two hot chicks every show. Singer and dancer, can't complain.
    At the end of the show we'd all chip in and give her a few dollars for her dancing.
    Bottom line, she jumped on stage and has never left. People love her and other bands request her presence at their shows.
    Which she will do now and then if we are not playing that day.

    Person #2 a guy jumps up on stage grabs a mic and starts singing back up. Not terribly bad but not good either.
    Our guitar player whose mic it was, swung around, bumped the guy on the head with his headstock and quickly grabbed his mic. Not too many people noticed be cause their eyes were on our singer(girl) and Go-Go dancer.
    Person #2 left the stage with head down and tail between legs. No arguments or physical fights.

    What are people thinking to just step on stage and believe they are "adding" to the band?
    I don't know.
  18. wraub


    Apr 9, 2004
    ennui, az
    It kinda sounds like the girl from story #1 is adding to your band financially (and performance wise too, likely), so, you're batting .500. ;)
    Not bad, really.

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  19. Axtman

    Axtman Supporting Member

    Mar 3, 2008
    Seattle, WA
    This is how Keith handles fans on stage.
  20. Is her name Kim Boston or Kim English?
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