For helping Republicans win big in this election cycle but also for: > 1. Thank you for introducing us to Jennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica > Lewinsky, Dolly Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and Juanita Broderick. > Did I leave anyone out? > > 2. Thank you for teaching my 8-year-old about oral sex. I had really > planned to wait until they were older to discuss it with them, but now > they know more about it than I did as a senior in college. > > 3. Thank you for showing us that sexual harassment in the work place > (especially the White House) and on the job is OK, and all you have to > know is what the meaning of "is" is. It really is great to know that > certain sexual acts are not sex, and one person may have sex while the > other one involved does NOT have sex. > > 4. Thank you for reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a new > generation and demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag > the Dog" could be plausible after all. > > 5. Thanks for making Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look > graceful, Richard Nixon look honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and > John Kennedy look moral. > > 6. Thank you for the 73 House and Senate witnesses who have pled the 5th > Amendment and 17 witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying > about Democratic campaign fund raising. > > 7. Thank you, for the 19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonments > from the Whitewater "mess" and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal > convictions (so far) in the other "Clinton" scandals. > > 8. Thanks also for reducing our military by half, "gutting" much of our > foreign policy, and flying all over the world on "vacations" carefully > disguised as necessary trips. > > 9. Thank you, also, for "finding" millions of dollars--- I really didn't > need it in the first place, and I can't think of a more well deserving > group of recipients for my hard-earned dollars than jet fuel for all of > your globe-trotting. I understand you, your family, and your cronies > have logged in more time aboard Air Force One than any other > administration. > > 10. Now that you've left the White House, thanks for the 140 pardons of > convicted felons and indicted felons-in-exile. We will love to have them > rejoin society. > > 11. Thanks also for removing the White House silverware, I'm sure that > Laura Bush didn't like the pattern anyway. Also, enjoy the housewarming > gifts you've received from your "friends". > > 12. Thanks to you and your staff in the West Wing of the White House for > vandalizing and destroying government property on the way out. I also > appreciate removing all of that excess weight (China, silverware, linen, > towels, ashtrays, soap, pens, magnetic compass, flight manuals, etc.) > out of Air Force 1. The weight savings means burning less fuel, thus > less tax dollars spent on jet fuel, thank you! > > 13. And finally, please ensure that Hillary enjoys the $8 million dollar > advance for her upcoming "tell-all" book and you, Bill, the $10 million > advance for your memoirs. Who says crime doesn't pay! > > 14. The last and most important point- thank you for forcing Israel to > let Mohammad Atta go free. Terrorist pilot Mohammad Atta blew up a bus > in Israel in 1986. The Israelis captured, tried and imprisoned him. As > part of the Oslo agreement with the Palestinians in 1993, Israel had to > agree to release so-called "political prisoners". However, the Israelis > would not release any with blood on their hands. The American President > at the time, Bill Clinton, and his Secretary of State, Warren > Christopher, "insisted" that all prisoners be released. Thus Mohammad > Atta was freed and eventually thanked the US by flying an airplane into > Tower One of the World Trade Center. This was reported by many of the > American TV networks at the time that the terrorists were first > identified. It was censored in the US from all later reports. Why > shouldn't Americans know the real truth? > > What a guy!!