That...disturbed me.

So this morning, I wake up, go on TB for a bit, then go to the kitchen to get something to munch on for a little bit. What do I find? A harmless granola bar box. So I fish one out of the box, and come back to browse (troll) TB some more.

Without looking, I unwrap the treat and take a bite. All goes well, and all goes down well. Another bite, and all is well. Third bite I need to squeeze it out of the wrapper, so I do and take a bite. A couple crumbs fall on my shirt. I go to brush them off, as usual, and then they start moving.

I look at the granola bar in horror, and notice that some of the "granola" is also moving. Not just the little black beetles, long worm/centipede type things and other fun little creatures as well. Wonderful, so here I am, staring at my insect infested granola bar. My half eaten granola bar.

It's not the idea that bothers me, so much, as the image of it actually happening. It wasn't really that fun. I'm gonna stick to being spoon-fed blubber from now on.

And I wondered why it tasted a bit "stale". Go figure.

Come to think of it, how'd they get sealed into the wrapping to begin with? Someone over in China probably got executed for this...

Oh well.

It's a pleasant way to start your day.

 

No, in fact, I take heart in devouring dead animals.

However, these were neither dead nor did they belong in my granola bar.

******* bugs.

 

Thank you sir. Just found another one crawling to victory. Buggers.

 

Well, I figured I'd make some eggs and bacon and move on---

Wait a minute, how the hell do you cook a granola bar?

That removes the convenience. Shame on you, bassteban. Shame.

 

Sadly, I'm still hungry. Perhaps I'll make toast. Toast is safeish.

 

You, sir, are an *******.



Atta boy

 

Yeah, but you people are weird. And your women are also hot. Well, some of them.

And I'm down for eating bugs, but warn me first. And don't be in my granola bar. Damn.