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That should be a stage name.

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by Bard2dbone, Dec 28, 2012.

  1. Bard2dbone


    Aug 4, 2002
    Arlington TX
    Hey gang -

    I work in a children's hospital and I see a huge number of spectacularly ill-advised names come in pretty frequently. But some are so bad that they are kind of awesome. And I don't just mean truly awful names like a pair of brothers who were named Master Odin ____________ and Dark Nocturnal Agony ______________. I mean names made out of actual names that just shouldn't have been put together for someone to have to live with.

    Some are nicknames. But strongly established ones, the kind where the kids friends don't even know that's not their legal name. Some actually ARE their legal names.

    I started collecting a few of them a while back to use as the fake names of the non-existent members of a fictitious band project. I was going to play everything, but make up liner notes about hypothetical band members for fun.

    Some that I already had:
    Adam Baum - (a real kid, his dad and grand dad were both also Adam. But they all had different middle names.)
    'Woody' Post - He had a regular first name. But no one had called him by it since before he could talk.
    Robin Graves - Seriously, doesn't she already sound like she needs an Emo band?

    And last night I had a dad come in with a toddler whose name would be the all time champion of this phenomenon: CT Monk.

    It's actually pretty normal at first, like Charles Thomas Monk (That might even be it. But I'm not sure. He reminded everyone each time to call him 'CT'.) I finally asked him why they preferred to use the initials. He replied "I'm going to raise him to tell everyone it's short for 'Chip Thelonius'.

    That dad is now my hero.
  2. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Marvyn Waitforit Erickson
  3. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    Dingus Analfire
  4. Richland123


    Apr 17, 2009
    So, he wants everybody to call his son Chip Monk.

    Here is a real name from a girl in my hometown

    Crystal Shanda Lear
  5. pocketgroove


    Jun 28, 2010
    Rod Knock.

    My aunt works at a children's hospital, and I guess there was a kid named DeMon...pronounced exactly like it looks, but the spelling is where the problem lies.
  6. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    In my line of work I see a lot names for health care providers.
    There have been a few chucklers like Dr. Hack and others. The best one so far was Dr. Frankenstien. I feel bad for that guy.
    S-Bigbottom likes this.
  7. Richland123


    Apr 17, 2009
    I used to work for a large insurance company and one of the sales people was an Asian man whose real name was Poon Tang.
  8. Bassguy61


    Feb 28, 2008
    Pearl, MS
    A couple from when I was still living up north... I worked for the credit department of a regional retailer and this one was a little old lady customer in Nebraska: Ima Hogg. We also had a sales associate at our store in Lincoln, NE named... wait for it... Hung Long. Real people, tragically bad names...
  9. Junk420


    Jul 19, 2012
    Cornwall, Ontario
    An Indian fellow at my work had a little boy not too long ago, I could not contain my laughter.

    His name is Manmeet
  10. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    My Psychology of Sexuality teacher was named Dr. John Long
  11. pflash4001


    Dec 2, 2011
    I knew a girl when I was in university whose name made me chuckle very time... Paige Turner...
  12. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    "There she goes, up on the stage again..."
  13. Richland123


    Apr 17, 2009
    Three local residents here with these real names.

    Minnie Dick
    Lemon Fresch
    Jack Imhoff

    That woman might have ended up with that name as a result of marriage but who would name their sons that?
  14. At the school that I went to the email addresses were assigned by first letter of your first name and your last name. I knew a guy with the last name Luts and his first name was Steven, so his email was sluts @ email . com

  15. corndog


    Jul 20, 2012
    Ontario, Canada
    My son played football with a kid who's first name was Champion. Talk about pressure.

    An East Indian lady who served me at a coffee shop was named Pushdeep.
  16. Swipter


    Sep 7, 2009
    Doing something I shouldn't and got my lip messed up pretty bad. The plastic surgeon who fixed it was 'Dr Love.'
  17. Swipter


    Sep 7, 2009
    Used to have a patient where I worked whose first name was Lezbia.
  18. tastybasslines

    tastybasslines Banned

    May 9, 2010
    Los Angeles, CA
    My wife's gyno's name is Dr. Claws.
  19. Phalex

    Phalex Semper Gumby Supporting Member

    Oct 3, 2006
    G.R. MI
    I used to work with a Chinese guy who's American name was "Harry Tang".

    My sister used to have a friend named "Sandy Beach".