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THE 4TH OF JULY, i wasnt going to brag, but....

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by the Qintar, Jul 9, 2005.

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  1. the Qintar

    the Qintar

    Jul 24, 2000
    i wasnt going to tell you chicks because its really just another day in the life of "wild eagle", but what the hell.....

    so on monday i was hangin out at the "dairy queen" in torrington and these two chicks kept driving by, honking their horn at me and waving, im thinkin "these chicks gotta be waving at me since im the only cat standin here". so i wait till they come around again and this time they pull up, i do two things, first i point to the "route 8" sign near the highway. second, i say "me. you two. the highway. NOW". next thing i know im rollin down route 8 with these two babes with a pack of whine coolers.

    so we decide to hit the beach where the ocean is and get wild. so were gettin crazy on these whine coolers on the way down, and were half in the bag by the time we get there. so we find a nice spot on the beach near a lifeguards tower....after about two hours of sun tanning and chatting with them about my life, i hear a "POP" - its gunfire, just above my head, instinctually i jump like a cat to my feet, looking in all directions, i see a cop near the water with a loudspeaker yelling "get out of the water, SHARK!". standing, i look at the two girls and say "this aint good...but neither am i", i wink at them, their jaws drop as they know theyre about to witness first hand what "wild eagle" is capable of.

    i run up to the waters edge, grab the loudspeaker, and tell everyone to stay calm, "IM ON IT". i look out into the ocean and see three things - a girl in a raft, crying, and two fins sticking out of the water, circling her. i knew in an instant what i was dealing with, the dreaded "bull shark".

    the cop beside me is wiggin out like any normal man would. i grab him and slap him a few times to calm him down, and ask him if hes carrying a blade. he asks "who are you?". i say one phrase slowly for him "the queens royal navy....anymore questions clown?". he hands me a swiss army knife and i take to the water like a real aqua man. i swam out at a lightning pace which was clocked by the lifeguard at fish like speeds. under the water i can see the two large bull sharks getting ready to attack the girl, i yell as loud as i can "take me!, TAKE ME YOU CLOWNS!". next thing i know im dancing underwater with the two deadly bull sharks, they were dropping their death gaze on me. the first one comes right at me for one large bite, its mouth open. i parry it with my left shoulder and scream back "YOU WANNA GET NUTZ?", then plunge the swiss army knife deep into the sharks guts, its endtrails came out in an explosion. the other devil shark saw this and knew in its primitive mind that it stood no chance against me, it hit the bricks and went out into the deep blue. we locked eyes before it swam off, and it knew it really isnt over till one of us is dead....i said under my breath "you will taste my blade".

    i breast stroked back towards the beach with the girl on my back and when we hit land i collapsed from the battle. the two girls took me back to their place and we made love on the top of their apartment building while watching the fireworks. incredible.

    regards "wild eagle"
  2. nonsqtr

    nonsqtr The emperor has no clothes!

    Aug 29, 2003
    Burbank CA USA
    Ha ha - "Fear and Loathing in Torrington". :D

    Good story. :)
  3. bassturtle


    Apr 9, 2004
  4. LajoieT

    LajoieT I won't let your shadow be my shade...

    Oct 7, 2003
    Western Massachusetts
    I didn't know TB was turning into the PG version of Penthouse Forum.....

    BTW, I don't think that's the signature Toasted sent to you. You still have a 1 month sentence to have carried out Ms. Pink Princess.

  5. Razor


    Sep 22, 2002
    Another classic........ :D
  6. The Qintar is back !!! yahooo... :D ;)
  7. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001

    You are a monolith of sorts among men.
  8. BurningSkies

    BurningSkies CRAZY BALDHEAD Supporting Member

    Feb 20, 2005
    Seweracuse, NY
    Holy Crap.

    I guess parole came up early?
  9. Vorago

    Vorago (((o)))

    Jul 17, 2003
    Antwerp, Belgium
    nice :D

    He's back.
  10. Bryan R. Tyler

    Bryan R. Tyler TalkBass: Usurping My Practice Time Since 2002 Staff Member Administrator Gold Supporting Member

    May 3, 2002
    Nah, you probably just built a fence.
  11. But Bryan, that was one damned good fence. Just look at all the security and safety measures he put on it! I want one!
  12. Stu L.

    Stu L.

    Nov 27, 2001
    Corsicana, Texas
    Me too, the dreaded "bull $@#%"
  13. This guy is seriously cooler then Uncle Jesse.
  14. DigMe


    Aug 10, 2002
    Waco, TX
    At least it wasn't a "jaguar shark" I don't know if even the Queen's Royal Navy could get nutz on those.

    brad cook
    /\/\3phist0 likes this.
  15. Vorago

    Vorago (((o)))

    Jul 17, 2003
    Antwerp, Belgium
    The dreaded bullshark:


    Btw, what happened with your upperbody? :D

  16. jazzbo


    Aug 25, 2000
    San Francisco, CA
    We're all very proud of you Qintar.

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